I will find rest

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30

My Sunday evening was spent catching up with my hubby. It was one of his Army training weekends so we have less time to spend together.

As he goes through his routine on these early Saturday and Sunday mornings of switching from civilian life to soldier life, I prop myself up on the bed to watch him closely. There is something about him in uniform that makes my heart beat faster.

My husband embodies everything a soldier is supposed to be. The seven Army values, Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity and Personal Courage, are not values he takes lightly.

When he completes his morning transformation into a soldier, I'm in awe of him.

He makes his way out the door and all is quiet in the house. Even though I know he will return later that evening, he is greatly missed. There is this ache in my heart of knowing what is soon to come. This transformation takes place one weekend a month, but soon civilian life will no longer be his norm.

On this particular Sunday evening together, discussion was focused on making a list. I'm famous for my to-do lists. But this list is one I keep wanting to put off. After he rattled off his upcoming training dates, it's a list that I know I can no longer be ignored. The list has such an unpleasant ring to it — a Pre-Deployment Checklist. And the list begins with the one thing I know I put off out of fear.

Create a will.

So there it sits as #1 on my list. Let's move on to #2, #3 and #4. I'm not quite ready for #1. (Yes, I do know it's something we should both already have completed.) I was happy to see some of the things my husband was adding to this list.

Hire lawn service.
Install home security system.
Complete maintenance checks on home equipment.

I felt blessed knowing the most important thing to him was making sure I was taken care of. He is such a good man! What did I want added to the list? "Plan a vacation!" All I want is time away together to hold him tightly and wish I never had let go.

Earlier on that Sunday morning I read from Matthew 11:28-30. As my husband and I moved past our list making and on to lighter topics, the words from Matthew were playing over and over in my head.

"...and you will find rest for your souls."

The thought of my husband gone for nine months still seems unimaginable. For the most part, since this deployment was announced I've held tightly to the thought...It's still a long ways away and things can always change. As each month passes by it doesn't seem so far away and there is a sense of certainty among his unit that they are going.

Instead of holding tightly to the hope that plans will change, I will hold tightly to knowing when that day comes, in Him I will find rest for my soul.

I'm sure there will be days when the burden of running a home on my my own will seem too heavy. And there will be days when I'd rather stay curled up in bed. God doesn't promise it will always be easy, but each day He will be there waiting for me to lean in and rely on His comfort and grace.

When it's time to kiss my husband good-bye, I can rest knowing God will be his shield of protection.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." - Psalm 91:1-2