Scattering of Love :: Batch 5 [Cultivate a Thriving Marriage]

Ever since my husband returned home from his ten month deployment we have taken advantage of the opportunity God has given us to refresh our marriage.

With a conscious attempt to cultivate a thriving marriage, I have found many resources to assist us.

I highly recommend the book You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan. It will give you a new outlook on marriage and your relationship with God. The seven videos Francis and Lisa created to go along with the book will challenge you in mighty ways. You can even download a PDF of the book for FREE here. If you can afford to purchase a copy 100% of the net proceeds go towards various ministries.

My husband is not much of a reader but every two or three days we watch one of the videos together. As for me . . . my Kindle format of the book has become very colorful.

With my husband's deployment (thankfully now over), he is required to attend several Yellow Ribbon events. The events are held pre-deployment and post-deployment. The spouse is encouraged to attend too. At these events, educational sessions and resources are provided to help the service member and family through each phase of a deployment.

We attended our first post-deployment Yellow Ribbon event this past weekend. (I am much happier to be in the post-deployment phase.)

One of the break-out sessions was called “Making Relationships Work.” The session was based off of the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work written by John Gottman. In the book Gottman speaks to how positive relationships invest an extra five hours each week in their marriages. He refers to this as the “Magic Five Hours.”

Hubs and I are trying out Gottman’s approach and so far it has proven to add some fun to our days. I thought I would take a moment to share how you too can work the “magic five hours” into your marriage or relationship.

1) Try a six-second kiss at the beginning of the day and learn something interesting about your spouse (Math: 2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes)

2) Give another six-second kiss at the end of the day and have a conversation about your day. (Math: 20 minutes x 5 days = 1 hour and 40 minutes)

3) Find ways to compliment your spouse (i.e. use "I admire" or "I appreciate" statements). (Math: 5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)

4) Show physical affection for your spouse, whatever you define this to be, and learn your partner's love language. (Math: 5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)

5)  Set a date night once a week to connect, dream, plan and enjoy each other's company. (Math: 2 hours per week)

These small things can allow for significant changes and growth in your marriage. Why not give them a try? Oh my goodness, holding a kiss for six seconds is pure delight!

Note: I have not read the book by Gottman so this is simply me passing along wisdom from the seminar we attended.

They best way to cultivate a thriving marriage . . . read the Bible together. You could even use Bible Gateway to have a narrator read to you. These ten minutes with my husband every morning (almost every morning) have become my favorite time of the day.

What ways do you cultivate a thriving marriage?

  Share |