I must admit, I remain unsure of God's desire for me when it comes to writing. It stays low on my priority list. Maybe I expect the process and results to be similar to what it once was. Maybe God seeks to teach me to simply trust in Him.
So I write when I sense He's prompting me to write. If time between posts become days, weeks or months, all will be well. If readership plummets from inconsistency (or the other things which can positively impact readership) all will be well. If grammar and punctuation are downright awful, all will be well. It needs to be because I'm done with the fight to be something or someone I am not.
Just write and trust Me. Honestly, the writing part can be harder than the trust part. I do not know where to begin with the writing. I know Him, at least better than I once did, and I know He can be trusted.
Now, if we sat together over coffee I would likely ramble on and on. Our time together might come to an end with me wondering if I allowed adequate time for you to spill your guts out too. I dislike the thought that I may have made it all about me. I want to hear from you too… I really do. Please God, whatever I said, may it have pointed to You.
I have much to tell you. God continues to transform me in mighty ways. Discover could be my one word for 2016, if I were to choose a word. I discover new truths about myself and also about God. The truths about me are not easy to accept yet necessary.
The truths about God... Oh may we not be done uncovering more truths about God until the day He brings us home and reveals all the mysteries.
I see God in all things. I hope I point to God in all things. Like when I admit to a heart struggle, I hope you know my faith remains grounded in who He is and His promises. There are admittedly days when I am shaken. But when those days come, I know where to go: Gods Word, prayer and godly friends.
I wrote the first part of this post several weeks ago and I now chuckle over the title I chose. Only God could know how much the truth of how He's unchanging would be needed right now. Because truthfully, friends, I struggle lately with change. And I struggle with good change, which seems so crazy.
For reasons, I have said little about my husband's deployment in this space. However, if we are friends on Facebook you may have caught wind of news that my husband is back in the states. This happened much sooner than planned. I obviously prefer his boots be planted on U.S. soil rather than foreign, unsafe soil.
But this is a change from laid out plans and I often do not handle change well.
The previous plan: I would see him again September-ish. I did not love this plan but I had accepted it and fallen into somewhat of a routine.
The new plan: there is no plan. He's not home and I don't know when he will be home. He's back due to medical issues (not life threatening but significant enough for the mission to end early for him.) and we do not have answers on how the medical issues will be addressed.
He's been back for several days and now resides only 7 hours away from me (we are actually in the same time zone) but we wait for our chance to see each other. I'd love for it to be easy to pack up and go, but it's not.
[Thankfully we now have a plan in place to see each other soon.]
His unplanned return impacts other plans too. Please don't hear me wrong, this is not a complaint; just truth.
Bottom line: the changes, the unknown and the waiting have shaken me some.
The truths I cling to are:
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 (NIV)
"The grass withers, and the flowers fade, but the word of our God endures forever." Isaiah 40:8 (NIV)
"The Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken." Psalm 33:11 (NLT)
It is well with my soul, friends. It really, really is. But it is well with my soul only because of who He is and because I am His. No matter the changes, unknowns or time of waiting, that truth is enough for me.
They say that change is good but I feel like you when change is thrust upon me-uncertain and not sure if I really like it. Even though God is in the details and is orchestrating those changes behind the scenes it still feels like a disruption to the routine that we are accustomed to. Thank you for reminding us that God is the same today, tomorrow and yesterday. That is one truth that I cling to often. Thank you for writing and sharing your heat. Praying you and your husband are together again soon. Love and hugs!
ReplyDeleteAs one who has been through a multitude of change lately, I hear you. I am thankful your husband is doing okay and will continue to pray for answers, for healing and for peace. I get all giddy when I see your posts come through Facebook, no matter how long in between. Love you friend!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to writing, I, too, must "Just write and trust Me." Writing is a lonely craft, and that is why I blog, as well as do other writing--blogging helps me keep in touch with other writers.
ReplyDeleteChange of any kind is unsettling and those of us who like their "ducks in a row", not knowing is the hardest part of change. Praying for peace and quicker answers for you and your hubby.
Just after I read your post, this devotional popped up in my inbox. Thought I would share it with you. http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/when-youre-not-ready-for-the-season-of-life-youre-in/
ReplyDeleteJust this week I was talking about something I learned (finally) about myself and change. I hesitate about it for awhile, and then when I decide to embrace it, I dive in and let that theme of change overflow into multiple areas of my life at once. It's kind of funny and frustrating. :) I'm glad you wrote and I'm excited to catch up in person ... soon! Love you dearly! xoxo
ReplyDeleteBeautiful images, my dear! Change is never easy, even when it's welcome, at least that's what I've found in my life. The trick is to learn to embrace it, like the butterfly! God uses all change to fashion us into something more beautiful, more like Christ. You are such a beautiful example of that truth, my friend. You're in my prayers and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWell, I for one, am really enjoying your reflective posts, friend. Thank you for sharing yourself just as you are. I think we're all seeing bits and pieces of ourselves in the mirror you're holding up.
ReplyDeleteI've found that if some kind of conversation springs up from a post I've put out there, I'm satisfied, even if the numbers aren't stellar. I'm over that end of it.
And from what I see today, you've offered a feast that we're all savoring. I hope that brings you joy!
Blessings on you and your man. Please keep me posted, ok?
Hi Beth! My word for the year is indeed 'discover' and let me tell you, it's a wild ride.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you might feel like you are on big roller coaster too, and that can be exhilarating, and dizzying. I know what you mean by handling settled plans. You spend so much energy making the plan settle in, and then it's all upended. Not bad stuff, but just different.
I hope you'll be able to see your husband soon, and figure out what God has decided is your reality now. It is a present from Him, although His wrapping paper often is a puzzle instead of fun ribbons. You are in my heart and prayers my friend, as is your family. Enjoy your son's special day :)
Good times are coming, love is on it's way.
Blessings,
Ceil
Hello Beth! I am so glad that your husband is safe and sound on US soil! That in itself is a huge blessing. May your time together be sweet when you see him. Change is always difficult - whether good change or difficult. But, what you wrote at the beginning of this post when said all was well...reminded me of the beautiful hymn "It is well with my soul". Isn't it an incredible blessing how God gives such peace?
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joan
Beth,
ReplyDeleteAs always, good to read you again!! I will be praying for the situation with your hubby. Uncertainty and not knowing - for me - are the worst. Even when it seems like we're just waiting, God IS working. Prying for you, sweet friend, as God continue to work in your life and grow you into the image of His Son.
Love and ((hugs)),
Bev
Oh Beth, I'm arriving a bit late to this post. But it's very timely for me today. Yes, change. I don't deal with it well at all. And like you so wisely pointed out, even "good" change is difficult. Why is change so hard? Well, as much as I hate to admit it, it's because it pushes me out of my comfort zone and makes me feel out of control. When will I ever learn that truly, it's only God who is in control?
ReplyDeleteI see that you have a newer post about your hubby, so I'll read that to find out the latest. But, I will be praying for the medical issues, and for the readjustment needed at this change of plans. Sometimes we never know the *reason* for how things work out, but we can rest very assured that there is always a purpose.
GOD BLESS!