Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Three Word Wednesday: Bread of Life



It was a long and cold winter. While it may officially be spring, it doesn't feel like spring. The absence of the sun and lack of warmer temperatures has made me weary. As said by my friend Rebekah, “Spring meet winter… winter I’d love to introduce you to spring. Your pure white coat is beautiful, but I need some colour in my life now. Please, kindly step aside.”

I agree. Step aside winter. Say hello spring.

There are other reasons for my weariness though, besides the lack of sun and warmth.

My husband is currently away serving our country in harm’s way. It’s hard—very hard. I miss him constantly.

God also laid it on my heart to give up my eating disorder for lent. Refraining from my eating disorder behaviors comes with anxiety. There are times the anxiety has me wanting to crawl out of my own skin. It’s a sensation hard to explain.

I have previously tried to let go of my eating disorder—multiple times in fact. There were one or two times I went longer than the five weeks it has now been. The day eventually came when temptation won and I failed. Satan convinced me I’m anything but beautiful and I succumbed to the ever so momentary comfort found in the behaviors of my eating disorder. It has been a cycle of seeking comfort in anything other than Christ.

What makes me think this time will be any different from the previous attempts? I don’t even have the strength of my husband to rely on. If anything, my husband being away makes the behaviors easier.

I believe God has been preparing for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). Just like Jesus taught His disciples to think differently about life, He needed to teach me to think differently. And failure was part of the learning process.

My previous attempts and failures taught me how much I need Him. If I did not fail there would be no reason to go running to Him for help. Failing brought me to my hands and knees in complete surrender saying, "I need you." Failing taught me lasting comfort can only be found in Him.

Lysa Terkeurst writes in her book Made to Crave, "God created us—with a longing to be filled. It’s a longing God instilled to draw us into deep intimacy with Him." She says "…food was never meant to fulfill the deepest places of our hearts reserved for God alone. Not on the good days. Not on the bad days. And not even on the stinkin’, rotten, horrible no good days."

In John 6:35, Jesus says, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."

Obviously, I need the nourishment of food to sustain my physical life. The eating disorder behaviors need to stop. Jesus was not talking about physical bread though. He was telling His disciples to stop worrying about their physical needs—He would give them everything they need.

I read the verses that follow John 6:35 in the Message translation:

"Every person the Father gives me eventually comes running to me. And once that person is with me, I hold on and don’t let go. I came down from heaven not to follow my own whim but to accomplish the will of the One who sent me." ~ John 6:36-37

The word “eventually” caught my attention. As I shared earlier, Jesus needed to teach me to think differently before I was ready and willing to let go of my eating disorder and come running to Him for help. And He has been teaching me. He teaches me through time in scripture, prayer and worship. This time of learning has taught me to trust in Him and fostered a more intimate relationship.

I've learned how He does hold on and never let’s go. Because He is with me, I can accomplish the will of the One who sent Him. God’s will for me is to find freedom from that which keeps me from fully unwrapping His love for me.

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" ~ Romans 8:32

God has prepared me for such a time as this.
I have everything I need.
I have Christ—the bread of life.
It’s going to be okay.

46 comments :

  1. I think you are amazing and brave. Through Christ you can do all things. I believe this is your moment to be victorious!

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    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength!! Blessings to you.

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  2. Oh my brave, courageous, beautiful friend. You WILL conquer this mountain. God will give you the strength you need. You just lean on Him, when it gets hard, when it's easy, when you think you can't.....I am so very proud of you!

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    1. I love you dear, friend. Thank you for all your love and encouragement. God has blessed me with some amazing friends to help me through this time. He is good ALWAYS.

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  3. Sometimes we learn the most when we "think" we have failed. I'm thinking and praying for you :)

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  4. Dear sweet Beth; I know you can do this through the love and grace of our amazing God! Surround yourself with loving friends who will help, motivate, and keep your thoughts on other blessings and gifts to be fulfilled! ♥ I am soooo praying for you sister, and sending you all my love and bunches of hugs! ♥

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    1. Thank you for your prayers, Denise. And thank you for your love and encouragement. He surely has surrounded me with friends to help me through this time. Love and hugs to you.

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  5. Beautiful post, Beth! You can do this! With the Bread of Life, you will be sustained & nourished in ways that will cause you to be victorious. Praying for you today, my brave friend!

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  6. My dear friend ... after adding my link to the mix just now, I can only hope that it isn't at all a discouragement to you. Not knowing the circumstances of your heartache and this ongoing challenge for you, I can only hope that it doesn't come across as insensitive to your needs. Please forgive me if it does ... and feel free to remove it.

    You've visited my site often, you know that I'm a women's counselor. So it's from that place today that I can only encourage you to find help for this plague on your soul and body. That help is out there. Please know that you're not alone, sweet lady. I am praying for you right now.

    I hope I haven't been intrusive. Know that you are loved ... by Him. By us.

    Hugs.

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    1. Linda, I'm so sorry for my delayed reponse. I did read your post and as is true to you sweet friend it was beautiful and absolutely nothing insensitive about it. Thank you for your encouragement too. I'm seeking the support needed...this is my time for victory. You are a blessing. Love you much. {Hugs}

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  7. I know the Lord is doing a mighty work in your heart right now, Beth. Prayers for perseverance as you keep holding on to Him.

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  8. I am thankful that He never lets go. Praying for you as you continue leaning into Him to help you step forward in faith. Hugs

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    1. Me too, Lyli. Me too! Love you. {Hugs}

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  9. Praying so hard for you Beth <3 I am so proud of you for confronting ED/Satan head on. You are a strong woman and have so much courage. We are all here for you. Your honesty is admirable and you are going to persevere <3 Thank you for sharing John6 35-37 with us...powerful!

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    1. Thank you for all your encouragement, Veronica. Much love, Beth

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  10. It is going to be okay. As you turn to the Bread of Life every day, He will make it all okay. Love you!

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    1. He does make everything okay. He is good ALWAYS. Love you.

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  11. Beth, It's gonna be ok...it's gonna be ok... it's gonna be ok. I hope you're able to skype, email, or message your husband on a regular basis - I remember setting my schedule to his so we could share some face time - it's so important! Remember, he shares your sun. Every. Single. Day. I'm so proud of you for choosing joy! Love, Janet

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    1. It's gonna be ok! I have been able to talk to my husband daily which has been such a blessing. And that very thought of how we share the same sun brings great comfort. Thank you, Janet, for your encouragmeent. {Hugs}

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  12. What a joy to see how these words, some humble thoughts one morning, blessed you. We long for spring because we long for resurrection. We groan, along with creation, "we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."

    Keep feeding on the Bread of Life. He alone satisfies. God is using this hard time in your life to do great things within you. You are doing it, with a whole crowd of cheerleaders as you take hold of the victory.

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    1. Your words always bless me, Rebekah. I'm so grateful for all my cheerleaders. I pray God uses me to be the same for all of you. Much love.

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  13. 1. You are beautiful.

    2. You are strong.

    3. You CAN do this... with God's help.

    Praying that THIS IS THE YEAR for you, Sweet Beth. God. Has. Got. This!!!!!!

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    1. He has so got this, Sharita! This IS the year for victory. Love you, friend.

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  14. I'm waiting on spring's true arrival as well Beth. I find encouragement in your bravery and the sharing of your heart sweet Beth. Hugs & prayers to you.

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    1. Thank you, Wanda. Much love and hugs to you.

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  15. I'm ready for spring too. Like always, there's so much hope in your brave words, Beth.

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    1. Only a little over a month until we meet! That makes me super happy. ~~happy dance~~
      Thank you for all your love and encouragement, Kristin.

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  16. Love you so much. Your beauty is true and real and blinding in it's purity. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

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    1. Love you, Shelly. Always praying for you. {Hugs}

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  17. Hang in there! You are going through a lot right now, but God will keep you. Just take things one day at a time! Praying for you!

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  18. It will be ok, but be gentle with yourself. Oh, if we could only see ourselves as God sees us. So beautiful.

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  19. We can do all things with the strength Christ gives us! Keep looking to Him, Beth! I'll be praying for you to feel His comfort and His strength coursing through your veins and satisfying your every need! You are a beautiful lady - inside and out!

    Love, Joan

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    1. I'm grateful God has placed you in my life, Joan. Thank you for your love, encouragement and prayers. Love you.

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  20. I thank you for your openness, Beth. You have proclaimed God's wisdom here and I need it right now in other ways, for other things, yet still...I need His Truth and His Love.
    He is with us always. We are never alone, Beth. His love and loving arms surround you, sweet girl. I praise Him for His love and care for each one of us.
    I want to say again, that I hold you and your family, especially your husband, in my prayers.
    I am caring through Christ, your sister ~ linda

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    1. Thank you so much for keeping my husband in your prayers, Linda. That means so much to me.
      Blessings to you,
      Beth

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  21. Hi Beth,

    You are surrounded by your sisters in Christ, who are there to remind you how deeply loved you are. Keep your eyes on your Saviour, who understands what you are going through, more than any other.

    Sending hugs and much love.

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    1. Thank you, Anita. He has surely blessed me with many wonderful sisters in Christ. Grateful for you. Sending love and hugs your way as well.

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  22. You are so beautiful and this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us. We all need the bread of life. We all struggle with things that get in the way of our health and wholeness. We are all embracing this journey with you. Thank you for reminding us that God is our bread of life. I needed this beautiful reminder today. Love you sweet friend!

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    1. When I think of how desperatly I need Him, it reminds me to pray even harder for those who don't know Him. Thank you, sweet friend, for your love and encouragement. Love you too.

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  23. You are so not alone in your struggle! We are here with you...and God will never leave your or forsake you. I can definitely turn to food instead of God for comfort, celebration, filling up the empty places. It's a poor substitute but yet a habit so very hard to break. God bless us every one. Cheering you on sweet sister!

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement, Elise. My prayers are with all who allow anything but God to fill those empty places because anything else is so temporary. Only He can fill us the way we longed to be filled. Much love.

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Much love to you.