I do not mention it here often. Actually, I’m not sure if I have ever mentioned it here before. But a dream does dwell in my heart to write a book. Not shocking for someone who calls herself a writer, right?
There's a better chance you have heard me say I have no desire to write a book.
The process of writing a book does not appeal to me at all. It sounds more appealing to sit down with a "real" writer to tell them our story and have them write our book.
On occasion my husband will ask about "the book." However, when he brings up the topic he refers to it as my book and not our book. I give him the same response every time: It's our story; our book. He still says: "It's your book; our story."
Please do not misunderstand me. My husband supports telling our story. His point of view is simply that I am the writer, which makes it my book. My hope rests on his willingness to contribute his words too. In my opinion, the story would be incomplete without a contribution from him. The way he saw events matters to the whole of the story.
Only God knows if there will be a book. Maybe it's my desire and not His.
The topic of "the book" came up again last weekend. We were celebrating the New Year and our dating anniversary with an evening out on the town (downtown Chicago). For his Christmas present, I booked us a hotel room at the very place where he proposed to me. His proposal happened twenty-five years ago on December 16, 1989.
What a journey the twenty-five years have been. We have quite the story; a story I believe would make for a compelling book.
My husband asked me, as we waited to be seated at our table for dinner, if I had a title for my book.
Our book, my love.
There's no title. I am not even sure how one begins to write a book. It's only a dream.
He says to me, "You know writing a book means reliving those hard moments? Are you ready to go there? Do you remember everything? Do you remember . . .?"
He retells events he remembers while tears welled up in his eyes. There was forgiveness but the events have not been removed from his memory.
Our story includes two separations. Both separations were my decision. The first separation lasted a full year. We were separated the year of 1999. It's a year I would rather forget. The year holds lots of painful memories. Shameful memories. I was at my lowest.
A writing friend reminds us "when we let go of our yuck, God will replace it with a crown of beauty."
I reached over to my husband and placed my hand on his. My response to his tears was similar to my friends.
We have a But God story. Because of God, and with God, we overcame. God used our mistakes to show us a new and better way. God gave us a new story.
Julie Ackerman Link writes in January 6th of Our Daily Bread devotional, "Instead of magnifying every mistake, we can turn them into beautiful acts of forgiveness, healing, and redemption." She ends her post with these words: "Jesus longs to turn our mistakes into amazing examples of His grace."
And all God’s people said, Amen!
Our story, my love, is a But God story. He took our shattered pieces and made something beautiful instead.
“God has sent me to give them a beautiful crown in exchange for ashes, To anoint them with gladness instead of sorrow, to wrap them in victory, joy, and praise instead of depression and sadness.” Isaiah 61:3 (Voice)
Our book (if this dream comes to be) will share the mistakes made but it will not magnify them. It will be hard to look back on those mistakes. In the end, God’s beauty will be seen in both the sharing of our mistakes and in the redemption found through Him. Our But God story is one filled with "beautiful acts of forgiveness, healing and redemption" (Our Daily Bread). It's in our telling that others will discover His Kingdom is truly all about His grace and healing.
Maybe the title of our book should be: But God. They are my two favorite words in the Bible for they are always followed by good news.
I think your story will encourage others...and what God shows us through our painful moments can be of help to someone else, I say do it! The other day, we were asked to talk with a young couple who was going through some of the things we went through a few years ago. Before we met with them, we prayed and talked. Yes, the discussion brought back many painful memories, but as we talked we could see (again) how far God has brought us. God has done so much for us...He's worked miracles! How could we say no to this opportunity to share with this struggling couple? We ended up having a wonderful evening with then as we shared, listened, prayed and encouraged. God never wastes a hurt. He'll use everything for His glory. Trust Him. Tell your story! :) Oh, and Scott and write the forward! LOL That way you both can say it is "Our book"!
ReplyDeleteLove you, Joan
Oh those opportunities to gather in person to share and encourage one another . . . that's the kind of sharing I long for more of. As I make my way through the book, You and Me Forever by Francis Chan, it's so speaking to my heart to lead a study (with hubs). I loved that you and Roy were able to do this. And I love even more that God allowed you to see how far He has brought you. Praising God! Thank you for your love and encouragement. Love you. xoxo
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteGee whiz...this writer needs to learn how to type! Sorry about the typos! LOL
ReplyDeleteFriend, don't you worry. I'm sure I've left many of typos at your place. :)
DeleteMy dear friend I get such pleasure reading your heart when you write. Those 'But God' moments are the fingerprints He leaves and they testify of those good things He brought you to. Your story needs to be shared. It will be beautiful. As you revisit the hard moments they won't be the same because you are living the outcome and you are walking with Jesus.
ReplyDeleteBless you!!!!
♡Dawn
Revisit . . . that's the word I was looking for. I think that is more appropriate than the "relive" I used in my post. Just smiling over that. :) And I so appreciate the reminder that it won't be the same to go back to those hard moments because we know how we have overcome. You bless me friend. Much love. xoxo
DeleteI know someday others will read your story and begin their own new story, full of hope :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sweet words of encouragement, Lisa. xoxo
DeleteWhat you have written here is beautiful and compelling already. But God sounds like a beautiful title for a beautiful story. ((Hugs)) Debbie
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debbie. I so appreciate your words of encouragement. Much love. xoxo
DeleteIt sounds like your experience would make for a very compelling story, Beth. I'm so glad there was a "but God" in it. He always has a better plan. If the book ever does become a reality, I want a signed copy. ;-) Hugs, Abby
ReplyDeleteI hope the years from now, if and when a book is complete, that we are still gathering together in this online world. I have so enjoyed getting to know you these past several months. Your friendship is a blessing to me. Much love. xoxo
DeleteThere is healing in telling our stories. Excited about reading yours. Hugs
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouragement, Lyli. And it was fun to join your link-up again. (((Hugs)))
DeleteHi Beth,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your heart, dreams, and journey with us. Lifting you in prayer as you seek our Lord's guidance for this.
Blessings
Thank you, Anita. So good to see you here. I really need to come by and catch up over at your place as I always appreciate what you share. Blessings.
DeleteAh ... But God.
ReplyDeleteWhere would we be without Jesus?
I love how you're living out the good news, Beth. And I can't wait to see how your story continues to unfold.
Hugs, my friend.
I just love you. That's all. <3
DeleteI know God has already blessed the online community with parts of your story and each time we hang out here we learn a piece of your story and in the process hear how God has used this for His glory. It is want keeps bringing me back over and over. I think the title "But God" is perfect! Love you friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you, sweet friend. Always blessed by your words of encouragement. Let's plan that meet-up. I would so love to sit across the table from you. Love you, xoxo
DeleteBeautiful Beth...yes those are two of my most favorite worse as well. Praying for both of you as you journey down this path!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kristin. You are totally on my mind as you prepare for your surprise Birthday weekend. I can't wait to hear all about it. Much love. xoxo
DeleteThis was beautifully written, Beth. I read it through tears of joy. How marvelous it is to see how God redeems. This is one fellow writer who can't wait to read this book...no matter when that may be. I have faith that He will want you to tell your story.
ReplyDeleteOh how story of how He redeems always bring me to tears as well. I'm just left in awe of how good He is. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. Blessings. xoxo
DeleteI'm so glad that you shared the premise of your story with us. As a nosy person, I was so curious! As a writer, I completely understand what you're going through. I say, just start writing it and see where it takes you. Don't give in to the fear...(note to self: Are you reading this as you're writing it?). It may be a story just for you and your husband, and it may be a story to help others. It may be small or it may take off and you'll get a book deal. Regardless, if it's niggling at you, it wants to get written (still reading, Mary?). Go for it and I will be right alongside you with my own!
ReplyDeleteMary, I truly appreciated your comment here. I loved the reminder to not give in to the fear but to also just go for it and to trust God with the rest. So glad you visited today. Blessings to you.
DeleteI adore you big time. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI adore you too, friend. xoxo
DeleteBUT GOD! My two favorite words, too, Beth. And we all have a story to share which usually includes lots of messy, hard parts. BUT GOD!!! May His blessings be on the writing and telling of yours! xxoo
ReplyDeleteBeth,
ReplyDeleteI celebrate with you the dream that God has put on your heart! And you know the best part...I know that your purpose in writing this book will be to glorify the One who saved your marriage and was the author of your story. How cool is that?! I look forward to journeying along with you an whatever path your life might take, but it sounds like God is lighting your way. "But, God" Amen!! Love your words here and love you too!
Love and ((hugs)),
Bev
I so appreciate you, friend, for all the ways you have encouraged me. Thank you! Thank you for journeying along with me. Love you. (((hugs)))
DeleteWell, I think this post is the start of a great introduction for your book. See...you've started and you didn't even know it! I don't know much of your story, Beth, but your heart shines through. And I can only imagine God wants your story shared. There are so many hurting couples who could benefit from hearing how God brought beauty from the ashes of your marriage. I can't wait to read more! May God fill you with peace and move you forward in His perfect timing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your words of encouragement, Sabra. It's wonderful to connect with you in this blogging world. Blessings to you.
DeleteI can't wait to read your book, Beth! But God is a great title!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elizabeth.
DeleteI look forward to reading that book Beth!:)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Katie. I'm looking forward to meeting you IN REAL LIFE soon. xoxo
DeleteIt's definitely a beautiful story! I look forward to reading even more of your story, Beth!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Renee. Blessings to you.
DeleteGorgeous post, sweet Beth. And you know what? I believe there *will* be a book. I believe in your story...and in the way God can use it for glorious, redemptive purposes.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful for you, Beth, and all the ways you live love. xoxo
PS: I vote for But God as the title, too!
So blessed by your encouragement, Kristen. What a lovely treat it was to see you here. Thank you, friend. xoxo
DeleteYou are the perfect candidate for writing your story Beth! Your writing is always such a sweet blessing and delivers a message that touches deep in my heart. God has put the dream and desire in your heart, and He will help you put the words on paper! Love and blessings for a New Year 2015 and prayers for a new book "But God" in 2015 as well! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise, for your sweet words of encouragement. Love and blessings to you too. xoxo
DeleteWhen God prompts you to begin this journey of sharing His story, by sharing your story, He will guide you through the past as it relates to His purpose and glory.When you focus on pleasing Him Beth, and I know you do, all will become clear in His perfect timing. If the dream is from Him, it will take wing and fly. Praying for you, friend.
ReplyDelete"When you focus on pleasing Him" <<< that's so where my heart is right now . . . so much more so than on writing my story. I know He will let me know when the time is right. Much love to you, June. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo
DeleteFriend, I read this post on my phone on Friday and you kept coming to mind all weekend (when I was off-line) but I didn't want time passing to keep me from popping back in to tell you that though every writer has "that dream" (myself included) I believe for you it IS from the Lord. But God. Isn't that the story we all need to hear? Be inspired to believe and live? I don't know how the logistics will look or the timing in which the Lord will lead, but I believe that this a dream that would bring Him so much glory. Praying for you! Thank you for sharing this not-yet-finished piece of your heart. He is honoring your story even in the process. <3
ReplyDeleteBecky, I am so grateful you popped back in. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for your prayers. Thank you mostly for your friendship as we do this writing journey together. Much love. xoxo
DeleteI have a "But God" story myself. And no, I'm not proud of the details, nor the pain that my mistakes and misguided decisions brought into the lives of others. I once formulated them into a talk called, "The God of Second Chances." I presented the talk just once to a group at a church, but was a bit dismayed that after the fact people just wanted to talk about the details of my story, and not the redemption that was God's story through it all. I suppose it could have been because I didn't write my talk well. But, it's sorta shut me up from sharing it that publicly anymore.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there will come another day, another way.
But you, dear Beth, have a tremendous story...and I pray that God leads you to exactly what He wants you to do with it. (I personally think it's a book - just sayin'!!) For your story also involves salvation, which is the most perfect redemption of all!
Our story, His glory.
May He be magnified in all that we do.
GOD BLESS!
As usual, you make me smile. I loved your "just sayin" comment. And I am oh so grateful always for your willingness to share your stories. When we meet friend, I want to hear all about God's story of redemption in your life. TRULY! You have no idea how excited I am about the fact that we may be meeting in person soon. Like rather ecstatic. Much love to you, Sharon. xoxo
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI think But God would be a lovely title. Those are two of my favorite words too, and we can definitely all relate to that. Blessings to you as you venture through this territory, Beth!
ReplyDeleteThey are such good words, aren't they, Lisa. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Blessings to you. xoxo
DeleteWonderful! Everyone needs to know a "But God" is possible! Go for it, Beth.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your visit, Adriel. It's wonderful to connect through Amy. I just love her!! Blessings.
DeleteBeth,
ReplyDeleteI love how you celebrated your dating anniversary and yes, "But God...." Sounds like a great book title to me and if you write, I'll read it...So grateful we've met and I'm learning more of your back story and how God has worked in your and your husband's life...love and hugs, my friend :-)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Delete