Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Three Word Wednesday: Love at Hello



Throughout my husband’s deployment the way he greets me via a text message, email, or over the phone never leaves me questioning his love for me or how much he misses me. When we are able to Skype we do this silly movement with our hands as we say good-bye too. Neither of us remembers how it started or what the movement means but it’s now the thing we do and I love our thing.

With an end to the deployment in sight, I dream about his homecoming A LOT. A video of a military homecoming brings me to tears. Imagining my husband’s homecoming brings buckets of tears . . . joyful tears.

In Dare #9 of The Love Dare book it states how you can tell a lot about the current status of a couple’s marriage by the way they greet one another. “You can see it in her smile, hear it in his voice, and sense it in the tenderness of their touch. Or lack thereof.” (pg. 41)

Don't expect to see a lack thereof when my husband walks off his plane. He will receive one big kiss the moment he’s within my reach.

There have been seasons when our greetings lacked tenderness. I wore fewer smiles during those seasons and my voice did not reflect a woman who loves her husband. We had our seasons of playing the role of a happily married couple when underneath we were anything but happy.

I am not ignorant to the fact that difficult seasons will come our way again.

My husband’s reintegration back to civilian life will come with challenges. I have a choice in how I choose to greet my husband during those seasons. Even if feelings are contrary, I can choose to be kind. There is always a reason to choose kindness — “love being the greatest reason of all.” Because love is a choice we make.

“While greetings can reflect what’s currently happening in a relationship, they can also become a loving investment in its future health.” (pg. 41)

The writers refer to the story told by Jesus of the prodigal son. After making poor choices the son returns home humbled and ashamed expecting to live like one of his father’s hired servants. The greeting he anticipated was not the one he received. “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).

The way I choose to greet my husband can set the stage for better moments ahead. A loving greeting communicates he is loved and treasured no matter the circumstances. It’s a gift I can give to him every single day. Just like Christ gives to me (us).

A smile came to my face as I read on in the chapter and came to these words: "So choose to love at hello." Like me, those words may remind you of the movie Jerry Maguire. You know the scene toward the end of the movie when Jerry (Tom Cruise) proclaims his love to Dorothy (Renee Zellweger)? Dorothy eventually stops him and says, "You had me at hello."

My prayer is that my husband knows he wins my heart at hello. He will have imperfect moments (so will I) and choosing to love him at hello won't always come with ease but love makes the choice to see beyond the imperfections and to love anyways. I choose to love my husband well beginning with hello.

I realize it may be easier to make such a promise with my husband on the other end of the world. What happens when he returns home and those nuances we both bring to our marriage are back in the game? I hope the time we have spent apart has taught me to never take for granted the ability to greet him with a warm touch the moment he walks in the door.

“Since we each have no guarantee of tomorrow, every new day with our spouse is a gift from God for us to cherish and enjoy.” (pg. 43)

I don't know what the future holds. Only God knows. But I know this love dare challenge and the time I am spending with God is changing my heart. If I am not choosing love the problem lies within my own heart. Thankfully, I have access to the One who is in the business of heart transplants.

Scripture reveals that He places significant value on marriages. I trust Him completely too continually work on this heart of mine to teach me how to love my husband with His kind of love.


Dare #1: Love is patient
Dare #2: Love is kind

Next week: Love is unconditional

42 comments :

  1. I need to work on this one! Thanks, Beth!

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    1. I'm discovering, Elizabeth, that the Love Dare book is something all married couples should go through every year. It offers such great reminders of what love is and what it is not. I know each dare I read is one I too need to work on. Thank you for stopping by. Blessings. xoxo

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  2. Beautiful words ... as always sweet friend! Oh, I can only imagine how you are looking forward to your man's return and how sweet it will be! The time is getting nearer and nearer!! :)

    Blessings Beth; enjoy the rest of your week!
    Denise

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    1. Thank you, Denise. I am ready for that day! Blessings to you.

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  3. Can't wait to see pictures of that sweet reunion! Praying the remaining time goes swiftly and safely! Much love.

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    1. I can't wait to share pictures! Thank you for your love and support, Holly. xoxo

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  4. Beth, I somehow think you will have Scott at the hello! God has been preparing your heart for this very moment. Grateful the day is getting closer!

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    1. I keep telling him to beware because it will be at least a week before I'm willing to let go of him. :) Thanks, Joanne. Much love. xoxo

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  5. Beth, this is absolutely beautiful. I appreciate your reminder to love my husband at hello. I imagine he will appreciate it too! Thank you for sharing your heart through your words, as you do beautifully continue to do. What a special reunion you will have with your husband! Hugs to you today#

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Julie. I am enjoying getting to know you better. Blessings. xoxo

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  6. Love this, Beth! Especially this: "My prayer is that my husband knows he wins my heart at hello. He will have imperfect moments (so will I) and choosing to love him at hello won't always come with ease but love makes the choice to see beyond the imperfections and to love anyways. I choose to love my husband well beginning with hello." Yes, yes, yes. Please have someone with a video camera at that reunion!

    And, psst, I love Jerry Maguire too. :)

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    1. Good point on the video camera, Kristin. I've lined my sister up for pictures but need a camera too! And yes, Jerry Maguire is one of those movies I could watch over and over again. I hope you are having a wonderful vacation. Love you. xoxo

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  7. I think that the mistake that many people so often make is thinking of love as strictly a feeling. However, feelings come and go! So many things can affect them. That first infatuation we feel when we meet our spouses fades and if we are not careful, we think that something is wrong. Love is something that we DO. We choose to love through our actions and the commitment we have made. When we choose to love, yes, the good feeling of love is there, too, but it is much much more. And, like you wrote, when we greet our husbands with a loving kiss (or other loving things throughout the day) we are making an investment in our relationship. As I look back over my marriage (33 years) I feel more love for my husband than ever. And that is because we have stuck it out, make the investment, and purposely fostered a loving relationship with each other. We can't be lazy in love. We can't just sit back and have it happen to us. Love is active. It is a choice...and it is a great choice!

    Love & blessings, Joan

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    1. Joan, I completely agree with everything you wrote. And I am right with you on feeling even more love for my husband now. I see how God has used the trials in our marriage to grow us not only closer to Him but closer to one another. This love surely just didn't happen. It's active indeed and so worth it. Thank you for sharing. Love you so much. xoxo

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  8. Great post, Beth! It's not fakery to great your husband with kindness even when we're not feeling particularly kind. The Love Dare guys hit it right on, "a loving investment in its future health." We all need this message!

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    1. Thank you, June. I have come to believe the messages in this book are one all married couples should read over and over again each year. I know once my husband returns home my hope is for the two of us to read through it together. Much love to you. xoxo

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  9. This is a great reminder. Being in person makes such a difference doesn't it. Even phone calls with my husband when he's traveling leave me feeling empty. I'm so proud of you for all this way you have come.

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  10. This is a great statement from the book, "“While greetings can reflect what’s currently happening in a relationship, they can also become a loving investment in its future health.” That makes me stop and think about the way I greet my man. I fail too often to do it lovingly…I’ll be waiting with a kiss today. ;) Thank you for your encouragement, as always, Beth! :D xoxo, Meredith

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    1. I was thinking of you yesterday, Meredith. I hope your loving greeting made for a wonderful evening for you and your hubby. Love you. xoxo

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  11. Beth,
    Thanks for this great and timely reminder. Whether our husbands are returning from deployment or from a long day at the office, we need to purposefully stop and greet them, lovingly, with a kiss (the world can wait)!! Love your honesty with which you write!!
    Love and ((hugs)),
    Bev

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    1. Such truth, Bev. I hope and pray when my husband returns home that I remember these words I've written during this time apart. I don't want them to just be words, I want them to impact how we love one another in the every day moments. Thank you for your kind words. Love you. (((hugs))), Beth

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  12. Three words - Really Beautiful Post. This was so special, Beth. You know, I was convicted while reading. As you know, I've been coming down to take care of my mom once a month for over a year now. And when I return home, I'm so exhausted when I tumble out of the car after the long drive that I rarely greet my husband properly. I say the right words, but he's the one doing the big effort on hugging and giving me a kiss hello. I need to do better. He needs to know how much he's a rock for me right now.

    Thanks for your message - and for the chance to see how I need some improvement.

    GOD BLESS!

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    1. Thank you, Sharon. I know it's not always an easy choice to make. I know those days of coming home and being so darn tired and not giving any thought to how I greeted my husband. I really hope to do better too when he returns home. Thank you for sharing. I've been thinking of you and praying for you. Blessings. xoxo

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  13. Love this post, sweet Beth! You had me at "Hello"..... <3 Praying you and Hero are reunited soon! Love you. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

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  14. Sweet post! So thankful for your husband's service. New to the link up(Mary of Martha). Found you through Holly Barrett.

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    1. I am glad you found your way here, Jen. I look forward to reading your post. Thank you for joining the linkup. Blessings.

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  15. Thank you for the reminder to both appreciate the small things, like the hello greetings, and to intentionally create beauty in them. Praying for you as you await your dear one's return and may you feel the kiss of the Father upon your heart as He greets you each moment of the day.
    Bless you, Beth!

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    1. Thank you, Dawn. And thank you so much for your prayers. Blessings. xoxo

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  16. Oh my goodness! Your website is wonderful!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Loralee. Blessings.

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  17. Hi Beth! What a great point, that you can tell a lot about a couple in the way they greet each other. That is really a thought to meditate. As I read about how you dream and wish for that reunion at the airport, it makes me think about my daily reunions with my husband. Do I make him feel as cherished as you and your husband do for each other? I don't think so.
    Wonderful thoughts to go with me today. Thank you!
    Blessings,
    Ceil

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    1. I am hoping I do not forget my own words when my husband returns home, Ceil. I know how easily we can take them for granted instead of cherishing them each and every day. Thank you for following along on this journey. Blessings.

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  18. This was a touching post! So, so touching!

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  19. "The way I choose to greet my husband can set the stage for better moments ahead."
    Yes, and Amen. Our choices can make all of the difference. I praise God for His willingness to love us through our imperfections and teach us and grow us.
    So thankful for you, Beth. You spirit is beautiful.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

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    1. Praise God, indeed. Thank you for your kind words, Linda. I am thankful for you too.
      Blessings,
      Beth

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  20. This isn't the first thing I've read recently that reminded me how important it is to go to my husband and greet him when he gets home from work...to honor him and put him first, before what I'm doing when he walks in the door. Thank you for sharing these words...they have inspired me to give him a big one when he gets home tonight! ;)

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    1. Nice to see you again, Kay. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing. I hope the post inspired many warm welcome homes! Blessings. xoxo

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