When I said “I do” to my husband we became one. “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it” (Ephesians 5:28-29). We are a part of each other. What one experiences, we both experience. When one is hurting or going through a difficult time we should go to great lengths to show love.
The word cherish is defined as “to feel or show great love for” or “to make warm.”
My husband currently serves in harm’s way in a country that lacks any kind of warmth. I know the months away from home have been difficult on him. As his wife, I need to be the one to bring warmth to his life and heart.
Dare #11: How can you warm the heart of your spouse today? Look for opportunities to bring warmth to the coldness in his life? If possible, give them an unexpected, tender touch. Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you.” And do it with sincerity.
I am unable to give my husband “an unexpected, tender touch” with him being on the other end of the world. My opportunities to bring him warmth are through exchanged messages and brief phone conversations. I am always sure to express delight when I hear from him. This isn't hard to do when you are counting the days, hours and minutes until you connect.
I told my husband when I finally see his face again (we've been unable to Skype the past month) I will do a cartwheel.
Before he deployed I had hopes of sending him a handwritten note weekly. He treasured the letters he received from me when he was away from home for his basic training. A handwritten note warms the heart, don’t you agree?
We have been able to talk frequently during our time apart so I have only sent him a few handwritten notes. It’s late in the game for me to make up for lost time. I do plan to slip in one or two letters before I can no longer send him mail.
There is still a desire to check off this love dare by choosing a gesture that communicates, “I cherish you.”
I also had hopes of reading the book The 5 Love Languages Military Edition. While I have not read yet there is still time. It now resides on my iPad. To get a head start, I explored www.fivelovelanguages.com for quick ideas on how to fill my husband’s “love tank.” To fill his love tank I need to know his love language.
The 5 Love Languages referred to in the book are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
I’m certain my husband would say his love language is physical touch. With physical touch not an option for me, I decided to go with a secondary option of “acts of service.” Acts of service means doing things you know your spouse would like you to do.
My husband takes pride in maintaining our home. I know serving him on the home front by tending to our home is important to him. I am grateful he hired professionals to help keep our home clean and grass cut but there are many other neglected areas.
To express my love for him through acts of service I decided to take care of a few things around the home I knew he would appreciate. To be able to tell him I pulled weeds and cleaned the the garage brought a smile to my face. Okay, there are still many more weeds to pull. I did find the time spent on these two projects to be refreshing. Go figure.
There will be less writing and time online while I continue tending to our home. He did not demand or even ask this of me; I choose to do out of love.
My son and his wife will also soon be home for a visit. I will then join them in California for a few days before my son deploys. I know focusing on our children communicates to my husband, “I cherish you and our children.”
What is your spouse's love language? How about yours?
Dare #1: Love is patient
Dare #2: Love is kind
Dare #3: Love is not selfish
Dare #4: Love is thoughtful
Dare #5: Love is not rude
Dare #6: Love is not irritable
Dare #7: Love believes the best
Dare #8: Love is not jealous
Dare #9: Love makes good impressions
Dare #10: Love is unconditional
Dare #11: Love cherishes
Next week: Love lets the other win
I love you! My love language is Words of Affirmation, followed by quality time. My husband hasn't taken the test in a while (we just took it last week at our staff meeting), but I am almost certain He is acts of service and physical touch. Have a lovely week!
ReplyDeleteMe too, Barbie! Same for my hubby! Loved this post, Beth, just like all of your posts on the Love Dare! I am gleaning so much & look forward to the topic each week! :) Love you both! ♥
DeleteLove both of you so much. I did not share in the post but I think mine may be Quality Time. You ladies bless me. xoxo
DeleteCherish.
ReplyDeleteCould there be a more beautiful word?
I think I'm going to pull my copy of 'The Love Dare' off the shelf ...
;-}
Sweet, sweet, sweet! I'm amazed at how much you are growing in your marriage with your husband half a world away. God is so good and I'm also grateful for the way He has sustained you during this time. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Much love!
ReplyDeleteYou're encouragement through this journey has been so appreciated, Holly. Love you so much. xoxo
DeleteBeth, beautiful pairing of photo & Scripture. Made me realize how much more we receive when we give :) Have a wonderful Wednesday!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joanne.
DeleteIn a society where "love" is overused and undervalued, words like "cherish" have real power. And this post is a beautiful reminder of the ways we can help our spouses feel cherished. Honored. Adored. Admired. I have no doubt God will use this to bring blessings upon marriages across the blogosphere -- not the least of which will be your own.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Beth. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I am so glad this blogging world has connected us. Much love. xoxo
DeleteI love the definition of cherish....to make warm. What a beautiful reminder of our need to cherish our spouse. Thinking on how I can do this today...thank you Beth for this nudge!!! Praying for your and your husband this morning! xoxo
ReplyDeleteIsn't it lovely? I hope many are inspired to do the same. Thanks for your encouragement and your prayers. xoxo
DeleteBeth-Your Love Dare series has touched me and even though I am single I am able to take away so much. My love language is affirmation and kind words and other things meant to build me up go a long way. I try to be aware of the love languages of those around me such as my two sons and close friends and family members. It truly is a gift to share their language with them because then you are returning a gift to them. Blessings and prayers as you walk through this season! Mary
ReplyDeleteYour comment has me pondering what the love language is for my two boys. You've inspired me to move beyond just applying it towards my husband. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, Mary.
DeleteBlessings.
xoxo
I've always been fond of the word "cherish," but I've never defined it that way. I love it - and it makes "cherish" seem intimate and meaningful. My love languages are quality time and gifts. Greg's are quality time and physical touch. I love how you brought the love language concept in your love dare. Your journey here is so encouraging. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kristin. The more I reflect on the different love languages I believe mine would be quality time. I need to read that book now!! Much love to you. xoxo
DeleteBeautiful post from a beautiful friend! I feel led to say, don't feel like you have to "make up for lost time". You have the time you have, and it is always plenty. <3 It is so neat that God gave you that refreshing feeling when you were taking care of tasks that took care of your Hero. He's so good like that.
ReplyDeleteLove you so! Heart Hugs, Shelly <3
You are so right, Shelly, and this spoke to me yesterday to not look at anything as lost time. God has done so much during this time apart and I know He has not wasted any of it. Much love to you. xoxo
DeleteCherish is a word with an old-fashioned feel but it will never go out of style. Thank you for such a lovely post that makes me all the more grateful for the one I cherish. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words, Ginger. Blessings to you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Deletexoxo
Loved this blog post, Beth. "Cherish" is a great word that really sums up how we should feel about and treat our spouse. Finding out each other's love language is so important as well. My husband and I have discovered that his love language is words of affirmation and mine is acts of service. :) Have a wonderful rest of your week!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see you again, Penny. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing. Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Blessings.
DeleteMy love language is "words of affirmation". I know that my husband's love language is "acts of service". He brightens up whenever I do something for him without being asked...and that feels so good! I think that when we think of the other person and seek to do (or say) something nice for them...it definitely says, "I love you."
ReplyDeleteI agree, Joan. Thanks for sharing and thanks for your encouragement through this journey. Love you much. xoxo
DeleteMy hubby's language is physical touch. Mine is words of affirmation, and quality time. Sometimes we can be out of sync if I want to talk and he wants to be close. But, we find a way when we love someone, right?!
ReplyDeleteI saw this definition of cherish: "to keep or cultivate with care and affection." I liked that. It implies exactly what is true. Love must be tended to like a garden - otherwise the weeds will choke out all the flowers of affection and respect and intimacy.
GOD BLESS!
(Of course now you have me humming that old song by the Association:
Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could
Mold you into someone who could
Cherish me as much as I cherish you
Man, I am seriously dating myself here.)
I love that definition too, Sharon. I really like the word "cultivate." You always bless me with your comments. Thank you so much. Blessings to you. xoxo
DeleteI may be married for almost 38 years but I'm still being convicted about a lot of things from these love dare posts!
ReplyDeleteThank you for following along, Elizabeth. Blessings.
DeleteLove love love the daisy. I used to love giving my husband flowers. He would pretend not to like it, but he always knew there was a love note with them and he loved this. I do believe that Love Languages and Love Dare should be required reading for couples. So much wisdom there. Blessings to you, Beth.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, Kim. I'd go on to say they should be read every year or every other year. Thanks for sharing and for your kind words. Blessings. xoxo
DeleteHi Beth! I hadn't heard of Love Languages until my son in law told me about it. (He's a social worker.) Turns out that I recognize love in Receiving Gifts, and my husband sees it in Acts of Service. (Which is what your husband is doing right now.)
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see that cartwheel! I know you would too...hope your Skype works out soon. And enjoy all those jobs around the house, as you cherish the joy it will bring your husband.
Hugs,
Ceil
There was some jumping up and down when I saw his face but I was at work when he called so a cartwheel did not happen. :) I was doing a cartwheel in my mind though. Thanks for sharing and for following along on this journey, Ceil. Much love. xoxo
DeleteThe Five Love Languages saved our marriage. Literally. We were on the brink of ending our marriage when we learned them and began to "speak" each other's language. My husband's are Personal Touch and Words of Affirmation. Mine are Acts of Service and Quality Time. We've applied the same for our children, friends and co-workers. Has made all the difference! Great post Beth! Thank you for it!
ReplyDeleteJulie, I really hope one day we can spend time sharing more of our stories with one another. Thank you so much for your honesty here. So grateful we have connected. Blessings to you. xoxo
DeleteHi Beth, such a great positive post. You show that even though your hubby is far away for a season, you are still in a position to be the best helpmeet and friend you can be. I pray your time apart hurries by and your togetherness be blessed. Thank you for your encouragement
ReplyDeleteGod bless
Tracy
Thank you for your kind words, Tracy. It's always wonderful to see you here. Blessings.
DeleteMy husbands love language is Acts of Service and mine is physical touch.
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