I Want God More

Right after I began to write again two events occurred:

1) A reorganization at my place of employment shifted a whole new set of responsibilities to fall under my role as Executive Assistant to the President and CEO,

2) and I discovered Adult Coloring Books.

Truth be told, I have sneaked in a blog post or two (or more) when I should be working. God has convicted me on this each time. I have prayed for more responsibilities and new challenges to fuel a new love for my job. While I am delighted to have less down time to be distracted by non-work related stuff, it comes with sadness for two people who lost their jobs. So now I pray for God’s provision over my former co-workers.

As for Adult coloring books... Oh my, such goodness. Give it a try. I suggest opting for the reflection and worship coloring books. Like this one.

To sum up, other things occupy my attention before writing.

What occupies my attention most is to want God more. I don't say this to boast. It is just the truth: I really want Him more than anything else. I need Him more than anything else. As Lisa Whittle writes in her book I Want God, “until the want matches the need, nothing will ever change. Needing without wanting is just a really good idea that never seas light.”

Lisa's book ignited a revival in my soul. I want Him more.

For me wanting Him more than anything else begins with intentionality. I told you that I am a girl who thrives on routines. On the other hand, I realize wanting God more than anything else includes wanting Him more than comfort. Routines create a sense of comfort for me. Routines are good but there needs to be a balance. There needs to be a willingness to forgo a routine if God calls me to something less comfortable.

Then again, the routines I aim to establish all include more of Him. Through the routines my intimacy with Him grows. Then it seems natural to notice my trust in him grows, and then following Him into the uncomfortable comes with more ease. Not easy; still hard. A little less hard, maybe (not always).

At this point I considered providing you with an outline of routines I've established. I decided otherwise though because what works for me might not work for you. And it isn’t about the routine itself.

Wanting God more than anything else will require sacrifice. I believe one of the primary sacrifices we make is our time. It comes down to this: what matters most? If God matters most (as He should) we need to make time for Him.

Friends, we are saved by faith alone. However, life change happens when we are devoted to knowing Him and His Word and doing what it says. My promise to you... the sacrifices we make to know Him, know His Word and do what it says, are absolutely worth it.

I write this post with profound awe for how God continues to transform me. I experience His transforming power as I devote my life to wanting Him more than anything else. I mess this want up often, but with intention I set myself back on the path of choosing Him first. I remember what I did at first, repent and repeat.

“Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.” Revelation 2:5a

I then move forward into the unknown with Him. Although not completely unknown for I know how it ends: eternity with Him.

"Wanting God is not risk. Living without wanting Him is.” ~ Lisa Whittle

Oh how I want God, more than anything else!

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{An} Old Oak Table

My husband and I recently completed a nine week Financial Peace University (FPU) course with Dave Ramsey. It's a course our church provides a few times a year. If you have never heard of FPU, I highly suggest you check it out. It will change you. And when you go through it with your spouse, it will have a positive impact on your marriage.

It's powerful stuff. It’s so powerful we have shipped off copies of the CDs to our eldest son to encourage him to go through the course. Afterward, our younger son will receive the same encouragement.

Mostly, I hope our children see a change in how their parents handle money. I pray we also reflect the truth to them: everything we have comes from and belongs to God. He has simply entrusted us to be wise with what He gives and to treat it with open hands. In other words, become like Him and be givers.

Dave Ramsey began and ended the nine-week course with reference to an old oak table. You see, it was around his old oak table where he and his wife declared bankruptcy. Around that same oak table they made the choice to be obedient to God’s instructions by following biblical principles on how to handle money. God actually has quite a bit to say on the topic.

I left the last week of our nine-week course reflecting on the old oak table which sits in our home and serves as our dining room table. The table has been in our home for at least 15 years. And life has surely happened around our old oak table.

The table is battered and worn out. Several years ago hubs started to strip the stain off to prepare it to be re-stained or painted. For the most part, it sits there as bare oak waiting on us to decide. At times, mainly when we entertain, I throw a white table cloth over it for a prettier look.

Like Dave Ramsey, there are good and not-so-good memories which surround our table. Of course many meals were served and eaten around our table but there’s so much more to this table…

Toddlers became middle-schoolers.

Boys became young men.

Homework was fought over.

Art was birthed.

Fights were fought.

Fists were pounded.

Hard decisions were made.

Hearts broke there.

Tears fell.

Forgiveness was given.

Smiles formed there.

God was found.

The Bible was opened and read.

Prayers were lifted.

Grace was said.

“See you later” and “welcome home” moments were spoken and lived.

Love letters were written and mailed.

Care packages were assembled and shipped.

Friendships blossomed.

A marriage proposal prepared for and extended there.

The growth of a family was witnessed.

Losses mourned.

The gifts of redemption and transformation were received.

God’s miracles are still seen daily.

The above memories only scratch the surface of the life lived around our old oak table. Nonetheless, the process of writing down the memories makes me wonder how I could have ever considered saying good-bye to our table. Yes, maybe it's just a table. The memories would not disappear with the table. But I have suddenly grown founder of our table.

I find myself sitting at the table on one of the four chairs slowly falling apart, one being held together with a yellow bow, humming the lyrics to a song by Colton Dixon:

There are days I've taken more than I can give
And there are choices that I made
That I wouldn't make again
I've had my share of laughter
Of tears and troubled times
This is has been the story of my life

I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

Watch video here: “Through All Of It”

Through every event which transpired around our old oak table God has been our God through all of it. Maybe we didn't always see Him. Maybe we went most of those years denying Him. Yet, He was always there knocking, waiting for us to open our hearts to His everlasting love.

Hard stuff didn't stop being lived around our table once we did let Him in for we live in a fallen world. But God continues to be our God through all of it. Instead of waiting on us to respond to His knock, His Holy Spirit now dwells within us.

I think we shall keep our old oak table. Whenever we gather around our table I think we shall take a moment to thank God for being our God.

“You are my God, and I will praise you;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.”
Psalm 118:28

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Remember His Faithfulness

I sit here in my office and stare at a picture of me and my husband which sits on my desk.

The picture was taken a month before he departed for his first deployment. A photo session offered by a friend became much more than a photo session. The photos captured tender moments between the two of us knowing our See-You-Later moment neared.

There are other pictures scattered around my desk too.

Our last gathering as a family happened in August 2013. It feels like many moons ago.

Soon we will gather again to welcome home our eldest son from his deployment. When I daydream about the day (which I do often) it leads to tears every single time.

At the same time, there’s much remembering these days. I remember the good and not-so-good seasons of the twenty six years with my husband and raising two children together. The not-so-good seasons are preferred forgotten. But God has us remember to see His faithfulness. Like He did with the Israelites, He wants us to remember how He delivered us.

We preserve our faith and trust in God by remembering His grace in our lives. And we make His grace known for generations to come. It’s what brings me here to tell our story.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” ~~ Deuteronomy 4:9

Oh, the grace . . . undeserved grace.

We have experienced our share of trials and temptations. In our four years as Christ followers, our faith has been challenged and it will continue to be challenged for years to come.

For this reason we “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). We fight for our faith always, not only in the not-so-good times.

How do we fight for our faith?

We fight for our faith by remembering. We remember that God did not promise a trouble free walk with Him. We are promised the direct opposite by Jesus in John 16:33. He does promise to walk us through the storms of life toward an eternal life with Him.

“Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” ~~ 1 Timothy 6:12

I keep identifying with the Israelites.

In Leviticus 9 when the glory of the Lord appeared to all the Israelites (v. 23) it says they “shouted for joy and fell facedown” (v. 24).

Whether I look back or look forward, I see the glory of the Lord. For God is in all things. He’s omniscient: past, present and future. He is Immanuel, God with us. What else should our response be to such grace other than to fall on our knees with shouts of joy?

And “though [we] have not seen him, [we] love him; and even though [we] do not now see him now, [we] believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for [we] are receiving the end result of [our] faith, the salvation of [our] souls.” ~~ 1 Peter 1:8-9

This is faith: Faith is belief in the one and only true God without actually seeing Him.

So, again, how do we fight for our faith?

We believe even though we do not see Him.
We remember His faithfulness in bringing us this far.
And we trust Him with the un-known future.

Trust requires us to put aside our own desires for His. We deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23) because He has proven Himself faithful. We have come to know His ways are far better than our ways.

When we fight for our faith the result is a deeper and more intimate walk with Him. Oh, how He wants us to know Him. And there's always more for us to know. We are never complete in the task of knowing Him.

Knowing God makes all the difference no matter what we face, for over time our faith becomes bigger than our fears. And when God leads us straight into our deepest fear we are better equipped to trust that He knows what He's doing. We can respond to His call saying: "I will follow you no matter the cost because my trust is in You."

This is why we can consider it “pure joy” when we face trials, because we know the testing of our faith produces perseverance (James 1:2).

So “Let perseverance finish its work so that [we] may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” ~~ James 1:3

How do you fight for your faith? How do you persevere during trials?

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A Christmas Wish

The Advent season is a time to prepare our hearts for the coming of His son; the birth of His son Jesus Christ. We celebrate the promise of the Savior, both His birth and His return. 

What does His coming promise?

The Gospel of Luke tells us in 19:10: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” And in John 3:16, “God expressed His love for the world in this way: He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not face everlasting destruction, but will have everlasting life.

This Advent season I also reflect on the greatest picture we have of what Jesus did for us.  The ultimate sacrifice He made for us. 

He came to earth as man knowing He would go to the cross for our sins.
He knew His destiny.

For the past four years, on the second Saturday of December, I have joined an organization called Wreaths Across America to remember our fallen heroes and honor those who have served and continue to serve.

Throughout the country, this organization works toward placing a wreath on the grave sites of all the men and women who stood ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for us.

They raised their hand.
They stepped forward.
They came before us and said, “I am willing to die, for you.”

And many did die for us. They made the ultimate sacrifice.

They died for the hatred in this world because we choose not to love. Yet they choose a sacrificial love. They choose God’s kind of love.

Last weekend my husband and I placed wreaths together. We placed two wreaths. Before we placed the wreath we stood before the grave marker and said a prayer. We prayed for the family of the fallen hero. We prayed for them to know the sacrifices their loved one made have not been forgotten. They will always be remembered.

And we wept as we prayed.

My husband went first. With tears rolling down his cheeks he asked, “Why am I crying? I do not even know this man.” He continued to weep as he knelt down to place the wreath. He wept for the sacrifice this man was willing to make . . . for him.

This particular man – this hero – lived a life beyond his service but again, he stepped forward willingly. He was willing to die . . . for us.

Then it was my turn. I prayed. I wept. I knelt down and placed the wreath. We will never forget.

My wish for us all is, to remember. As you reflect on His coming, reflect also on the picture these heroes give of what Jesus ultimately did for us.

Yes, Christmas is a time to celebrate His birth. But He came for one reason. He came for a purpose. You were His purpose. We were His purpose.

Allow this truth to change you in a new way as you approach the New Year. Let it change how you love others. Strive for an agape love. Strive for His kind of love.

Many of us choose One Word for the year to focus on. I think my word for 2015 will be SELFLESS. Please, Lord, help me to place the needs of others above my own. Help me to love with Your kind of love. 

There are so many good words to choose.
Ultimately, He wants us to love one another.

Above whatever word you choose, may the real word on your heart be LOVE.

The Bible is all about love. It’s God’s love letter to us.

His greatest wish for us is this:

“So I give you a new command: Love each other deeply and fully. Remember the ways that I have loved you, and demonstrate your love for others in those same ways. Everyone will know you as My followers if you demonstrate your love to others.” John 13:34-35 (Voice)

Choose love. Choose love over and over again.

To those brave men and women, you will never be forgotten.
To their families, they will never be forgotten.

To my husband and son, who stand willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, my pride and love for you overflows.

To you, I wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. May His love for you change you from the inside and out. Only He can perform the heart transformation we really need.

Let Him in.
Let Hope in. Let that Hope in. 
Let it change you.

God bless.

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Memorial Day

My original intention was to share only pictures with you today to encourage a moment of silence as we embrace this day of remembrance. But I then began to realize God had placed words on my heart to share.

As I write I continue to wait for my husband’s return home from serving in harm’s way. The last time we touched one another was Thanksgiving weekend. In two short months I will say good-bye to my oldest son when he departs for his first deployment. I would do just about anything to be able to hold my family close today.

Before becoming a military family I admittedly treated this day with gratitude for simply having a day off of work. Reflecting on those we've lost in service to our beautiful country now brings many tears.

My son taught me a lot on what it means to honor these heroes. His first two years in the military were spent spending countless hours attending to the meticulous details that came along with being a Ceremonial Guard for the United States Navy. This meant He honored our heroes as they were laid to rest.

Not everyone he honored had been killed in active duty but all had served their country. All at one point in their life stood ready to give their own life for another . . . for us.

To prepare for a funeral the guardsmen had to properly clean and press their uniforms. Shoes and any brass they wore were polished to perfection. They trained on the ceremonial aspects of a funeral until the point of being able to perform with their eyes closed. Numerous inspections took place to ensure they upheld to the honor they were giving.

For two years my son put aside his chosen career in the Navy to remember and honor our heroes. Becoming a Ceremonial Guard was not out of duty but a willingness to lay down his own desires for another. Five days a week he made his way to Arlington National Cemetery no matter the weather conditions to ensure these men and women received the honor they had earned.

Because he took his role as a guardsman seriously, he was asked to serve as part of the ceremonial detail as Astronaut Neil Armstrong was laid to rest at sea.

Photo credit

Photo credit

On Memorial Day the verse from John 15:13 is typically shared: "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for a friend."

No one portrays this kind of love more than Christ.

I see the example Christ left for us and I see the faces of the men and women who also left us with a powerful example of a willingness to lay down their life for another. I see the faces of both my husband and son, and those serving alongside of them, who stand willing to leave loved ones behind to serve their country.

Today not only do we remember our fallen heroes; we honor their sacrifice. We need to honor their sacrifice, and willingness to sacrifice, today and every day with the same honor they were given as laid to rest.

I believe our heroes leave us with a message on how to do just that: Keep moving forward with a willingness to love one another with that same kind of love . . . a sacrificial kind of love . . . God’s kind of love. Because there is no greater love than to put aside our own desires to love another.

Let the sacrifice made by so many fuel our hearts to love one another. Love others by following His example.

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of our fallen heroes. Their sacrifice will never be forgotten.