God's Providential Hand

This past Friday, April 13th, my husband messaged me saying, “Today is 8 years complete.”  On April 13, 2010 he enlisted in the Army Reserves.

My response… It has been a crazy 8 years.

Our military life journey began before the April 13th date. Maybe it began with me thinking I could forbid my husband to speak about our son potentially enlisting in the military. I actually stormed out on a dinner date with my younger sister and her husband because my husband had the audacity to bring up the topic yet again.

My standard response to the idea… No!! I will not have it.

I imagine our God has a sense of humor and I think every time I made this declaration He smiled with a hint of laughter for the story He had already written for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 19:11).”

Here we are 8 years later. I tried to forbid military life for our son and it became a way of life for us as a family. Even after my acceptance to this drastic life change (my husband was 41 at the time he enlisted) never could I have imagined what God had planned for us.

Our present reality is not the focus of this post though. The focus I desire is God’s sovereignty.

Because this I believe… that night when I stormed out of the restaurant and left my husband in the care of family to drive him home, God’s providential hand was at work. It had been at work in and through and over us all along writing our But God story with defining moments that would discipline us to get our attention. That night in the restaurant was one of those defining moments.

Another defining moment came when in a counseling session with our son and a counselor we used for several years for us individually and as a couple. Enlistment in the military came up in the discussion as an option for our son and my son’s response was, “My mom won’t let me.”

My son did not need my consent. He simply wanted my support.

He enlisted for the first time in the U.S. Navy on April 30, 2009 (there’s more to this story which involves a broken collar bone, a cancelled contract and another enlistment).

Another rather significant defining moment came when my husband approached me with his desire to enlist in the Army Reserves. I did not storm out of the restaurant we were in that evening when, dare I say, he bravely told me of this desire. Quite the opposite happened – I looked at him with overflowing admiration.

On September 18, 2010 we celebrated my husband’s departure for Basic Training and our son’s departure to soon follow in January 2011.

Seriously, we were not capable of dreaming up such a story. But God is able to write such a story.

I had every intention of winning in forbidding military life for our family. But God in turn used military life to draw us to Him (read story here). I can now look back and see His providential hand in those defining moments, and all the moments between, bringing us to where we are now.

I see God in all things. I can go back to the day I first told my husband I wanted a divorce. An early morning in bed where I sat up, looked at him convinced a life apart was the best way, and told him, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I see all the ways God put obstacles and storms in our path to redirect us to His way for us. I see all the ways God chased after us… where he was leaving the 99 to go after two.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Reckless Love, Cory Asbury

As our Executive Pastor said in his sermon last Sunday on Jonah, Chapter 1 – “The Love of God chases us. He doesn’t give up on us.”

God was relentless in getting our attention to re-route us to Him with a soul purpose of life transformation – a new life with Him at the center.

The sovereign, providential hand of God did whatever was required to get us where we needed to be – in a relationship with Him - because of His overwhelming, never-ending reckless love for us. May our response to His discipline and love always be, “Lord, have your way with us.” I say this because I’m full aware there is much more work to be done.

But I am confident of this, “he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).”

I have far extended my word count limit, friends. I pray the post to follow this will tell you what I desire to say when someone questions the realness of our God. I pray for boldness to speak of His most excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31). I pray I never tire of giving thanks for HIS providential hand in my (in our) life.


“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15).”

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Love or Fear

Source: Scripture Pictures

Hello friends. Remember me? The one who at one time wrote semi-regularly in this place. I am not sure how to jump back in after almost a year since my last post. Much has happened since those All Together Lovely days I last told you about.

Shall I catch you up? Our family was busy in the second half of 2017.

• Hubs gave me my wished for Turquoise table (May 2017)
• Hubs and I launched a new small group through our church (July 2017)
• Our youngest son got married (September 2017)
• Hubs and I launched a full home remodel project (September 2017)
• Our oldest son got engaged and then soon after they were married (November 2017)
• Our youngest son and his wife announced they will welcome their first child (our first grandchild) in June of 2018 ---- it's a girl!
• Hubs deployed (technically considered a mobilization) to Germany (December 2017)

Those are the highlights. Basically, they are the highlights which appeared on the back of our New Year's card. I made the decision to stop doing Christmas cards a few years ago and instead do New Year's cards. Why? Well, it eliminates an item from my to-do list during that oh so busy time of year and because I find it lovely when one more card appears in your mailbox a couple weeks after all the Christmas cards top arriving so I thought others might think so too.

Shall I catch you up on happenings in the first three months of 2018? The list isn't quite as long as it's only been three months.

• Hubs is still in Germany (enter sad face)
• Our new small group is AWESOME. Doing life together with people is challenging but I truly adore them. God uses them to bless me in unending ways.
• Our eldest son and his wife moved to Nevada (his new duty station) and bought their first home.
• Our youngest son and his wife bought their first home. They live in Wisconsin.
• We finished our home remodel project. As many have told me, and I admittedly love to hear, it's Joanna Gaines like. Seriously, it's beautiful!! I can't believe this house is mine.

Shall I end here? Or should I actually tell you why this post is titled, "Love or Fear"? I could likely write a separate blog post on each new happening in 2018 but we will assume those are yet to come (if I actually keep up with this writing thing).

So love or fear? I am often late to the party but this past week I started listening to Emily Freeman's podcast series, "The Next Right Thing." She already has 28 episodes in this series so yes; I am way late to the party.

Anyways... her second podcast is titled, "Do This Before Every Hard Decision." And the "this" she says to do is to ask yourself, is your decision being led by love or by fear?

I'm not completely sure why I have decided to start here after many months of silence. I could start by telling why I chose PRAYER as my One Word for 2018. I could try to tell you why I was quick to say yes to my husband leaving again. Or I could tell you about a recent decision to try to live simpler. Yet, Emily's question struck a chord. Maybe because the question is one I could go back and ask to the different decisions just mentioned.

I have been wrestling with the need to make another decision and my response has leaned towards saying no.

Ya'll, I probably need to back track here as before landing on Emily's podcast I began reading a book on prayer (because it's my One Word). The first strategic prayer the author addresses is praying for our passion. My passion? It is stolen from Bible Study Fellowship... "To magnify God and mature His people as they cultivate a deeper relationship with Him."

In my own words, my passion is to lead women in growing in His word and in a relationship with Him. Oh how fear can lead me to not pursue this passion though.

But our passions are a gift from God. He has given me this desire and He is the one who fans it into flame inside of me. And the whole "fan into flame" has stuck a chord with me too.

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands." 2 Timothy 1:6

Am I a bit all over the place with this post? It would be so much easier to sit across the table from you to share my heart on all these things. You and me at a table with a cup of coffee would be altogether lovely. Can we, please?

All this to say, on the decision I need to make... love is beginning to take more of the lead. All the fears which had me leaning towards no are valid fears (in my opinion) yet, "perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18)."

I need to mention I often fear misusing a scripture verse. There is so much I leave left unsaid or undone out of fear. So here I am letting go of fear and trusting God by attempting to pursue another passion He has given me and just maybe He is asking me to "fan into flame."

Writing...

I shall end here, friends. It was lovely to visit with you again. I have missed you.

 

God's Perfect Timing

I cannot get this clip from the movie “Independence Day” out of my mind as I begin this post. Click for Video: (I initially embedded the video but it would be an odd opening look for a new post after almost a year of not writing.)

Now mind you, most of you reading are likely girls (women is probably more true), nor am I ready to declare “I’m back.”  

Yet, I’m back for at least today. We will wait to see what God has planned for the days to come.

I wrote my last post in July 2016. Shortly after my husband returned home for what we are unable to claim as home on a permanent basis (he’s still a soldier) but we are hopeful he will remain stateside for an extended period of time. Home for a minimum of two years is my prayer.

Our Navy son will soon receive a homecoming celebration with his second 7-month deployment close to the end. I realized recently this is the first time in four years (4 deployments in 4 years) I have one coming home and the other is not already scheduled to leave. Would you join me in a shout-out of praise before we move on?

Praise the Lord! He is good ALWAYS.

Thanks for that.

What has been up with the whole writing thing for me? Oh, I don’t know. There were many reasons why I needed to step away. One, my husband was home… need I say more?

It took me by surprise to watch a writing break move to more of a personal declaration that I am no longer a writer. I changed my blog site to private. I did the same with my blog Facebook page. And I used the Facebook “On This Day” feature to delete any blog related memory. Delete. Delete. Delete. That season is over.

I use the “On This Day” feature to eliminate another season from my timeline too. We will save this story for another time, maybe.

Truth be told, I had no issues with the season of writing coming to an end. Gradually, I stopped writing blog posts in my head. Do others find that exhausting? Oh, how my brain needed a rest.

Quick side note: I keep trying to avoid the word “that” because it’s considered a weak, overused and frequently not needed word but (another word claimed to be used too often) trying to avoid that word gets exhausting too. Not sure why I shared THAT with you. Moving on…

Can I switch gears and share something lovely with you? Would you read this blog post first?

He Loves Perfectly

Last month I had my first official gathering of women around our Old Oak Table. It was so much more than I dreamed it would be. The gathering was done in God’s timing, in God’s way and with God’s courage and strength. I cooked too. If you know me well you know I do NOT cook. I made turkey tacos which I say counts as cooking. It doesn’t need to be complicated to be called cooking.

I have no adequate words to describe the awesomeness and perfect timing of the evening.

Friends, I think THAT is all I have to say for now.

I got work to do, our youngest son to move (he will only be slightly over an hour away from us but geez the change will be hard) and our eldest son to welcome home. Life keeps moving. God keeps stretching and growing me (and us). There are many stories I could share with you of Him showing His faithfulness over and over again.  And maybe I will, in time.

In the last post I wrote (all the way back on July 1, 2016) I shared with you a new go-to quote (new way back in July 2016):

“May I forget less and remember more that God will show Himself faithful.”

I am remembering more. For that I say, thank you, Lord.

If you are reading this, thank you! If you are one of the sweet writing friends I have made along the way, I have no right to expect you to read for I feel as though I have deserted our friendship along the way. I am sorry. You remain a blessing to me from God no matter where our relationship stands.

  

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Forget Less; Remember More

I have a long sleeve shirt I purchased early on in our new to military life way of living. I do not recall where I purchased the shirt other than to say it was an online military faith-based site.

On the front of the shirt it reads, "Not even the military can mess with God’s plans."

The shirt has hardly been worn (maybe once or twice) but I threw it on one Thursday evening shortly before my husband returned home for a long weekend (Memorial Day Weekend). Because he tends to be rather observant, it did not take him long to ask about the shirt.

“Is that really in the Bible?”

Confused by his question, I looked down at the front of my shirt to read the quote again. I then noticed a scripture reference under the quote… Jeremiah 29:11

I, of course, went to the Bible to compare the quote to the verse it referenced. While not in those exact words, the Bible does indeed say not even the military can mess with God's plans. Nothing can mess with His plans.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

The smile on my face became more profound as I chuckled over God connecting the quote and verse for I have been guilty of frustration with God over the change in plans to my husband's second deployment. I have referred to the change as the no plan, plan.

As much as the nine months apart from my husband for his first deployment made me weary, God used the time apart to grow us both spiritually and as a couple. While I did not expect the second deployment to be completely similar to the first, deep down I had a longing for God to do the same work in us again.

New growth quickly revealed itself the second time around.

My husband connected to a church and a men's Bible study once arriving at what would be his home for nine months. He was in God’s word. These were answers to long awaited prayer requests. And our conversations via Skype were some of the best we've had.

Thank you, God. I can do this again if you will do your thing again.

Then plans abruptly changed.

Certainly I had much joy and peace in my heart to have my husband stateside; however I perceived the changes as God taking away answers to prayer.

My husband was no longer attending a weekly church service.
He was no longer connected to a men’s Bible study.
He was no longer spending time in God’s word.
Skype connections were not good which left us both frustrated.

Why, God? You asked him to go and we obeyed. Where is the blessing for our obedience?

But God, His ways are not our ways. His plans are always perfect and they come to fruition in His perfect timing.

I have created my own new go-to quote: "May I forget less and remember more that God will show Himself faithful."

Friends, like those Israelites, I forgot and I did my fair share of grumbling for things not going the way we planned for them to go. Let's consider for a moment if plans had gone the way we had planned, or let's say the way the military had led us to plan for...

This picture I now have of my family together again (together for an outdoor church service too!) would not exist for we would still be waiting for my husband to return home.

My husband eventually connected with a church too. And I know I can trust God with the other things. Thankfully, my husband is now home and we don’t need to fret about Skype connections!

I prayed for God to do again what He did in us and through us during my husband's first deployment. I thought my prayer went unanswered.

But God did answer. The ways He did it again may look different, yet the end result is the same... all praise and glory to our God. For all we've been given, all the together moments, all the growth, is only because of Him.

"I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever." Psalm 86:12

Yes, friends, not even the military can mess with God’s plans! Praise God! He is good ALWAYS!

May we forgot less and remember more that He will show Himself faithful.

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Sharing with AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous Link-Up Party, Jennifer Dukes Lee for her Tell His Story Link-Up and the Let Us Walk Worthy Link-Up.

He Loves Perfectly

Several posts ago, the one on twirling, I mentioned I had attended an IF:LOCAL gathering. Then I briefly told you of a long-time desire to gather women around my table. I told you I intended to stop talking and instead “trust God and move.” I also said if you did not see a post on this gathering by the end of March it meant I needed encouragement in the bravery department.

It is almost the end of March…

I gave deep thought to what to call this gathering of women (a catchy name is a must), and who to invite. A part of me loved the idea of posting an open invitation on Facebook to local friends. Typical to my nature, I questioned the idea. Various discussion ideas played out in my head. Mainly, I knew I had to trust God with the details by letting go of control and any expectations I had for this gathering.

Truth be told, I lost bravery quickly and did nothing.

Then a dear friend who had joined me at the IF:LOCAL sent me a text to tell me of the step of faith she had taken. In her text she included a copy of the invitation she would soon send to those invited to gather at her table.

My initial reaction: JEALOUSY!

My next reaction (because let us not park long on jealousy.): Be brave, Beth. If God has placed this desire on your heart He also asks you to step out in faith.

So I got brave and designed an invitation with the help of Paperless Post.

The catchy name was going to be "A Table of Hope Builders"

Then I lost bravery again when it came time to add the names of those on my heart to invite. The enemy gained a foothold on my thoughts.

What makes you think anyone wants to gather around your table?
No one will show up.
Don't press that send button, Beth. 

Enter, deep sigh.

I had not fully given up on the idea. I have been in God's Word long enough to know lies versus truth. And I so want to be finished with believing lies.

It sure felt like God was closing the door on this gathering though.

A whirlwind of changes began when my husband returned to the states much sooner than planned due to medical issues. Rightfully so, all other plans came to a halt. The gathering of women around my table would need to wait, or maybe my heart's desire (my prayer) was to go unanswered.

On the other hand, God often answers our prayers differently from what we specifically pray for, giving us the opportunity to see Him in a new way

 "God takes something little--a small request--and replaces it with a much bigger answer." ~ Kelly O'Dell Stanley, Praying Upside Down

This past Saturday, the Saturday I had intended to gather women around my table, without an official invite extended, two ladies at two different times joined me at my table. As I hugged and said good-bye to the second lady I had a moment of sudden realization. God had answered my prayer.

Maybe He did not answer with what we might call a much bigger answer, but the right answer. Because God’s ways are always right; they are abundantly above all that can we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

God answered another prayer too.

Since the day my husband departed for his second deployment I had asked God to make our time apart go quickly. Please God, make this time of separation not feel like forever for there are days when it feels like forever until I will see him again.

He replaced my small request with a much bigger answer. I may not fully understand why He answered this way but as I have said previously, the why does not matter. And God did not cause my husband's injury to bring him home sooner; He allowed and used a circumstance to accomplish what He had always intended… an earlier reunion for two people who obediently said yes to His calling (another deployment) but also longed to be together again.

As I navigate a season of change and uncertainty, God reminded me of a truth I desperately need to cling to: God can be trusted to love perfectly. “God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true” (Psalm 18:30).

So in the midst of this somewhat difficult season, I will praise Him. For when we belong to Him we will always find Him to be Faithful and True (BSF notes). He alone gives us joy today and forever.

It is well with my soul…

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Seasons, Chapters and Choosing Love

I recently wrote about our old oak table and the memories which surround the table. My time of reflection brought me to conclude we need to hold on to our table. The table has actually since undergone a makeover.

Trips down memory lane happen frequently for me these days. And those trips take me back to the different seasons of my life. Like different seasons of the year, God takes us through different seasons throughout our time here on earth.

A while back, my friend Holly sent me a Voxer message after reading a post I had written on the book I dream about (every writer’s dream, I believe). The book would likely be a collection of stories from my years of marriage. Holly suggested the chapter titles simply be a particular year of my marriage. Her suggestion resonated with me.

Basically, the different seasons of our marriage would become chapters.

I don't imagine the book would be a chapter for every year of my marriage but it could highlight the years when I believe God did something profound, grew our faith and trust in Him or prepared us for a new chapter.

My book choices lately are ones written by Shauna Niequist. I loved her book Bread and Wine so I decided to continue with a Shauna theme by reading Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet. I completed Cold Tangerines and have a hundred pages or so left to read in Bittersweet.

In the chapter titled “Sea Dreams” of Bittersweet, Shauna writes, “Sometimes we have to leave home in order to find out what we left there and why it matters so much.”

Her words speak to a chapter in my marriage; a chapter when I left my husband and home. This chapter would be titled "1999." Whenever I reflect on this chapter I try to do so without regret. Of course, it breaks my heart to recall the hurt I caused my husband. At the same time, I do believe the act of leaving allowed me to discover what I had left and why he mattered so much.

Thankfully, 1999 ended with God having grander plans for the next chapter – 2000 – a chapter which included a fight for my marriage.

We appear to be on the edge of another chapter ending. It too relates to the words written by Shauna. The second part of those words may end differently though. I tread lightly here because this chapter ending doesn't relate to my marriage. On the other hand, it impacts our family and lays heavy on my heart.

As one chapter potentially ends, God teaches me how each chapter matters.

In a video series, Living Life Together featuring Shauna Niequist, Shauna says in the second video of the series that “our stories are stories of who God is.” God is love. And God calls us to love. We love no matter what the future may hold for a relationship. I have the choice to look back with regret for years spent loving someone and now consider it as time wasted. I also have the choice to be grateful for the chapter they were a part of. And I can be more like Christ by choosing love amidst the sorrow of their loss.

Every chapter matters because whether it’s a chapter filled with joy or sorrow we have the opportunity to glorify Him. It’s another chapter of our life which tells of who He is.

The year 2015 would surely be another chapter in my book. It's shaping out to be a profound year of God awakening us to His love, faithfulness and every day graces. The year has been full of good and hard moments and we haven’t even made it halfway through the year. Yet, we experience God’s love and faithfulness, maybe even greater so when He walks with us through the hard.

While 2015 may include a less fortunate ending for people we love, the marriage between my husband and I, which came close to an end back in 1999, will celebrate 25 years in October. All praise and glory goes to God.

This reflection reminds me not to limit what God can do. His ways are not our ways and many times far exceed our understanding. So I will choose to love through what may be an end of a chapter.

While I might guard my heart more closely, I will not close my heart to choosing love again no matter how this chapter ends or the next one begins.

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My hope is found in Him

In many ways it’s a beautiful season for me. I see His goodness bursting forth in all things. I adore this time of being more intentional in my relationships with my husband, children and friends.  The days seem to move at a slower pace, a delightful pace of cherishing each and every moment.

This season isn't absent of sorrow. My heart mourns the loss of someone I love deeply. I have learned that a loss can come in many different forms; it does not only come with death. I pray daily for the person I love to choose differently. I pray daily for God to teach me to extend love, even if it goes unseen, no matter how this part of our story unfolds.

God takes us through different seasons. I believe in every season He seeks to reveal truth about Himself, give us new wisdom for our spiritual journey and leave us with a promise for more of Him.

I see it in His letters to the seven churches in the province of Asia (Revelations 1:4) as I read the Book of Revelation. Each one begins with a picture of Him, then gives a warning and ends with a promise.

It begins and ends with Him.

It’s all about Him.

I find myself wrestling with God at times over this season of less writing He has brought me to. The wrestle comes in the form of jealousy and comparison as my Facebook news-feed fills with beautiful posts written by others whom I adore. Jealousy and comparison is an ugly thing. It absolutely steals your joy. But He came to give us life to the fullest (John 10:10).

So God doesn't leave me in the wrestle.

He reminds me of who He is and who I am in Him.
He extends gentle warnings through His Word.
He promises more of Him if I choose to trust and obey Him.

I trust in you, Lord. 
You are good.
You are faithful.

I was asked recently to describe what made me fall in love with Jesus and what makes me follow Him. My response came with ease but it also came with wet eyes. Love stories are usually told with wet eyes.

It's for two words: redemption and transformation. I witnessed how He redeems and makes all things new. You can read our story here. And His work of redemption and transformation never ends. There's always more: more ways we need to surrender to Him and more ways He wants to transform us.

He is my hope . . . the hope for better. A life without Him would be a life without hope. A life without Him is one I will not choose.

Maybe what I love most about this season is how I have fallen in love with Him all over again. As He becomes greater in my life (John 3:30), through devoted time with Him and In His Word, He performs new miracles. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). I come before Him with my fears, doubts and thoughts of unworthiness, and He says, "I'm not finished with you yet, Beth. Look, I am doing a new thing" (Isaiah 43:19).

I have come to a place of knowing this season He has me in is the very place I need to be. I can see so clearly His love and goodness, even in the midst of sorrow. He will not waste this. There will be beauty on the other side. There will be a transformation. I know this with every fiber of my being because I have come to know Him.

This is the hope I profess: He is faithful. He is good always. His love is never-ending. His arms are far reaching—nothing is too far off for Him to redeem and transform.

It’s the hope which keeps my eyes and heart set on Him always. When He comes to my door He does not need to knock because the door to my heart remains wide open (Revelation 3:20).

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Love always wins

I sat on our living room sofa Tuesday evening wrapped in a warm blanket in need of something . . . anything. My heart hurt. My husband sat in the kitchen, just one room over. I knew he'd listen to me as I made attempts to process emotions with his always compassionate heart but I did not know where to begin. Instead, I choose sleep. It too was needed.

This thing which causes my sadness is not something my husband and I can fix. We need to surrender this -- them -- to God. There's truth in these words by Oswald Chambers from My Utmost for His Highest: “You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it.”

I won't write about the thing which makes me sad, at least not yet. What I will tell you is there’s no shortness of seeing Gods goodness and faithfulness even while my heart breaks.

He's my strength. And He keeps using that husband of mine to hold me up.

In the midst of sadness I also have joy. I see God weaving His way into the life of my boys, one more so than the other. How can I not rejoice when one tells me, “I think I might be coming around, Mom?”

While I may not be able to get through a day without tears, God always gives me a reason to give Him praise.

He expands my heart with a desire to love more and to love well.

I follow along with others as Kara Tippetts touches lives, even after her death. Kara “considered every moment a gift and an opportunity to learn more about Grace and trusting God; she believed suffering was not an absence of beauty, but an opportunity to understand God’s love on a deeper level.”

Can’t I too?

These tears that fall are for reasons which seem small compared to the suffering Kara and her family endured, and continue to endure. But they still matter to God. He catches my tears and whispers . . .

I am faithful

I am doing something good

Trust in me

Live fully awake

See the beauty of each moment

Choose love, it will not fail you

I will not fail you

For love always wins

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” ~~ 1 Corinthians 13:7-8a

I wipe the tears from my eyes once again and whisper back, “Yes, I will choose love. Keep showing me the way. I will keep following You.”

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Remember His Faithfulness

I sit here in my office and stare at a picture of me and my husband which sits on my desk.

The picture was taken a month before he departed for his first deployment. A photo session offered by a friend became much more than a photo session. The photos captured tender moments between the two of us knowing our See-You-Later moment neared.

There are other pictures scattered around my desk too.

Our last gathering as a family happened in August 2013. It feels like many moons ago.

Soon we will gather again to welcome home our eldest son from his deployment. When I daydream about the day (which I do often) it leads to tears every single time.

At the same time, there’s much remembering these days. I remember the good and not-so-good seasons of the twenty six years with my husband and raising two children together. The not-so-good seasons are preferred forgotten. But God has us remember to see His faithfulness. Like He did with the Israelites, He wants us to remember how He delivered us.

We preserve our faith and trust in God by remembering His grace in our lives. And we make His grace known for generations to come. It’s what brings me here to tell our story.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” ~~ Deuteronomy 4:9

Oh, the grace . . . undeserved grace.

We have experienced our share of trials and temptations. In our four years as Christ followers, our faith has been challenged and it will continue to be challenged for years to come.

For this reason we “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). We fight for our faith always, not only in the not-so-good times.

How do we fight for our faith?

We fight for our faith by remembering. We remember that God did not promise a trouble free walk with Him. We are promised the direct opposite by Jesus in John 16:33. He does promise to walk us through the storms of life toward an eternal life with Him.

“Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” ~~ 1 Timothy 6:12

I keep identifying with the Israelites.

In Leviticus 9 when the glory of the Lord appeared to all the Israelites (v. 23) it says they “shouted for joy and fell facedown” (v. 24).

Whether I look back or look forward, I see the glory of the Lord. For God is in all things. He’s omniscient: past, present and future. He is Immanuel, God with us. What else should our response be to such grace other than to fall on our knees with shouts of joy?

And “though [we] have not seen him, [we] love him; and even though [we] do not now see him now, [we] believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for [we] are receiving the end result of [our] faith, the salvation of [our] souls.” ~~ 1 Peter 1:8-9

This is faith: Faith is belief in the one and only true God without actually seeing Him.

So, again, how do we fight for our faith?

We believe even though we do not see Him.
We remember His faithfulness in bringing us this far.
And we trust Him with the un-known future.

Trust requires us to put aside our own desires for His. We deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23) because He has proven Himself faithful. We have come to know His ways are far better than our ways.

When we fight for our faith the result is a deeper and more intimate walk with Him. Oh, how He wants us to know Him. And there's always more for us to know. We are never complete in the task of knowing Him.

Knowing God makes all the difference no matter what we face, for over time our faith becomes bigger than our fears. And when God leads us straight into our deepest fear we are better equipped to trust that He knows what He's doing. We can respond to His call saying: "I will follow you no matter the cost because my trust is in You."

This is why we can consider it “pure joy” when we face trials, because we know the testing of our faith produces perseverance (James 1:2).

So “Let perseverance finish its work so that [we] may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” ~~ James 1:3

How do you fight for your faith? How do you persevere during trials?

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