Friday, July 12, 2019

TGIF | Fully Persuaded

TGIF – Trust, Gratitude, Inspiration and Fun Friday

Trust

I tend to get stuck here, especially if I am having a week like the one I have had this past week. I fight the urge to give up on this whole writing thing because it simply feels too hard.

I shared in last week's TGIF post an inspiration to start a God Box. There is not a box yet, but until there is a box, the notes app on my phone is where I leave all the things that attempt to take up space in my mind and instead surrender them to God. At least I really try to surrender them to Him.

What I need to trust is that the anxiousness of my mind, the constant racing of thoughts (more often negative than positive) will begin to slow. The grounding exercises I'm practicing will become the natural response to the racing thoughts. The medication will make a difference. This is not the way it always will be. I will taste victory this side of heaven

"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." - Romans 4:20-21


And I will give glory to God even if the struggle remains because my love and devotion is to Him, not the promise.

Oh God, let it be so.

Gratitude

I am grateful for sisters who show up to help with the food portion of my daughter-in-law's baby shower (versus my catered food plan), regardless of how I have failed to show up for them in so many ways.

I am grateful for friendships made throughout the journey of writing in this space and for those friends who continue to show up to cheer me on, regardless of how I have failed to do the same for them.

My natural response is to feel unworthy of love and support from others -- unworthy of connection -- unworthy of that relationship. I see all my failures. I look inward instead of outward. There is profound gratitude for how therapy, and the work of the Holy Spirit, is renewing my mind to see things more rightly. To receive the gift of help from others. To rest in gratitude for their strengths instead of resting in my weaknesses.


Inspiration

For some reason this one feels harder this week. But I know my tendency is to over think a thought -- to question the rightfulness of a thought. Or maybe what I am questioning is how I will be perceived by others if I actually share that particular thought. Is it questioning or fear?

If I stop overthinking this, the truth is I am inspired to keep taking another step forward. I am inspired to continue the journey of healing even though staying sick feels normal and comfortable -- it's what I know. Twenty-five years of a relationship with an eating disorder is hard to walk away from. But I am inspired to walk away. I am inspired to believe who He created me to be is special and unique. I am not a mistake. He made me on purpose for a purpose.

I am inspired to take God at His word... I am beautiful, victorious, enough, created, strong, amazing, capable, chosen, never alone and always loved. You are all these things too!


Fun

Last weekend we babysat our sweet Emily all day Saturday and through the night. On Sunday morning, after she woke and had her morning banana, I turned on Jesus kid's music, held her close and danced around our kitchen with her. Oh what fun! She never fails to make all things better. Being her grandma truly is the bestest!


What are you trusting, grateful for, inspired by, and doing for fun? Join Brené here in sharing your TGIF every Friday, or share with me below. I love hearing from you.

 

5 comments :

  1. Dear friend ... rest, rest, rest in His love. You are His beloved and are priceless to Him.

    Breathe deep ... and keep writing. Your words matter. You matter!

    To us, to Him.

    Weekend blessings ...

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  2. I love, love, love how you write. If I am honest, I would admit that I struggle with everything you do. Together we can keep each other from getting stuck in those places and truly enjoy deeply the life our amazing God has given us! Can I get an Amen?😊

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  3. I'm so glad you're writing again (have I mentioned that?) That you are here, in this space sharing your heart. Being honest about how we feel is the first step to healing and change. I'm praying for you, sweet friend. Praying that you will believe God and that He will be enough. Love you.

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  4. Your little Emily is so precious! I have a granddaughter now too (she's 1 1/2) and we have such fun together! I tend to be an overthinker myself so I relate to what you're saying. I'm grateful that God knows how each of us are knit together and can help us find ways out of our heads. :)

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  5. You have a beautiful voice the world needs to hear. So thankful you are processing through your writing. Love you and much prayers!

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