God's Providential Hand

This past Friday, April 13th, my husband messaged me saying, “Today is 8 years complete.”  On April 13, 2010 he enlisted in the Army Reserves.

My response… It has been a crazy 8 years.

Our military life journey began before the April 13th date. Maybe it began with me thinking I could forbid my husband to speak about our son potentially enlisting in the military. I actually stormed out on a dinner date with my younger sister and her husband because my husband had the audacity to bring up the topic yet again.

My standard response to the idea… No!! I will not have it.

I imagine our God has a sense of humor and I think every time I made this declaration He smiled with a hint of laughter for the story He had already written for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 19:11).”

Here we are 8 years later. I tried to forbid military life for our son and it became a way of life for us as a family. Even after my acceptance to this drastic life change (my husband was 41 at the time he enlisted) never could I have imagined what God had planned for us.

Our present reality is not the focus of this post though. The focus I desire is God’s sovereignty.

Because this I believe… that night when I stormed out of the restaurant and left my husband in the care of family to drive him home, God’s providential hand was at work. It had been at work in and through and over us all along writing our But God story with defining moments that would discipline us to get our attention. That night in the restaurant was one of those defining moments.

Another defining moment came when in a counseling session with our son and a counselor we used for several years for us individually and as a couple. Enlistment in the military came up in the discussion as an option for our son and my son’s response was, “My mom won’t let me.”

My son did not need my consent. He simply wanted my support.

He enlisted for the first time in the U.S. Navy on April 30, 2009 (there’s more to this story which involves a broken collar bone, a cancelled contract and another enlistment).

Another rather significant defining moment came when my husband approached me with his desire to enlist in the Army Reserves. I did not storm out of the restaurant we were in that evening when, dare I say, he bravely told me of this desire. Quite the opposite happened – I looked at him with overflowing admiration.

On September 18, 2010 we celebrated my husband’s departure for Basic Training and our son’s departure to soon follow in January 2011.

Seriously, we were not capable of dreaming up such a story. But God is able to write such a story.

I had every intention of winning in forbidding military life for our family. But God in turn used military life to draw us to Him (read story here). I can now look back and see His providential hand in those defining moments, and all the moments between, bringing us to where we are now.

I see God in all things. I can go back to the day I first told my husband I wanted a divorce. An early morning in bed where I sat up, looked at him convinced a life apart was the best way, and told him, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I see all the ways God put obstacles and storms in our path to redirect us to His way for us. I see all the ways God chased after us… where he was leaving the 99 to go after two.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Reckless Love, Cory Asbury

As our Executive Pastor said in his sermon last Sunday on Jonah, Chapter 1 – “The Love of God chases us. He doesn’t give up on us.”

God was relentless in getting our attention to re-route us to Him with a soul purpose of life transformation – a new life with Him at the center.

The sovereign, providential hand of God did whatever was required to get us where we needed to be – in a relationship with Him - because of His overwhelming, never-ending reckless love for us. May our response to His discipline and love always be, “Lord, have your way with us.” I say this because I’m full aware there is much more work to be done.

But I am confident of this, “he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).”

I have far extended my word count limit, friends. I pray the post to follow this will tell you what I desire to say when someone questions the realness of our God. I pray for boldness to speak of His most excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31). I pray I never tire of giving thanks for HIS providential hand in my (in our) life.


“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15).”

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Things I'm Discovering {The Harder Things}

In my last post (read here) I shared with you the lighter side of the things I am discovering. Shall we move on to the harder things? What if we kick off with three more lighter things and then share two harder things? Can you tell I'm stalling on sharing the harder things?

The Lighter Things

Hospitality love - I love to extend invitations to family and friends to join me at my table. The unfortunate side of this is my inability to cook for said people. While I am sure a meal isn't a must for hosting, there is a dose of happiness which comes in serving others a meal. I have discovered if I keep it simple, I can scrounge up a decent meal. To date, I have made Sloppy Joe's for neighbors (it was literally the first time I delivered food to someone), an extra-large portion of Sloppy Joe's for our small group, a Pork Roast for my parents, and Turkey Taco Bowls for a church friend. Oh wait, I served up a baked potato bar for our small group once too (that didn't go well... who messes up potatoes???) Progress.

The lost art of a handwritten note love  - I love sending them and I am oh so excited and blessed when I receive one. May this not be lost art anymore.

Turquoise love - It has become my most favorite color. It started with hubs giving me my wished for turquoise picnic table and has now become one of the accent colors in our newly renovated home. By the way, our turquoise table was in the news. You can read the article here. And read about the #FrontYardPeople movement here.

The Harder (darker) Things

Fear is a Liar - This truth is being made more clear to me. Even more so is the truth of who is behind the fear and the lies; Satan. He is the father of lies (John 8:44).

Since listening to Episode 2 of Emily Freeman’s podcast, I have been asking the question she says to ask before every hard decision (Is your decision being led by love or by fear?) even in the simpler day-to-day decisions because I know even in them I allow fear to take the lead.

In those simpler decisions, like pressing send on a text to invite a friend to coffee, I first lean toward devaluing who I am by highlighting my weaknesses and viewing myself as less-than. Armed with truth and a fresh perspective of who is behind the fear and the lies, I have come to see how frequent I allow Satan to lead in the simple and hard decisions versus God. How do I not let God (love) lead? His plans for me are for good and not to harm (Jeremiah 29:11); Satan’s plans not so much.

As Zach Williams sings in this song, “Fear, he is a liar. He will take your breath. Stop you in your steps. Fear is a liar. He will rob your rest and steal your happiness.”

But God: “By this I know that You delight in me: my enemy does not shout in triumph over me.” Psalm 41:11

That verse, friends... may we write this truth deep within our hearts. Christ has shouted victory over us.

Envy/Jealousy - On a not so long ago Sunday I had a full blown ugly cry episode with my husband via FaceTime.

A little background... One of the perks of him being stationed in Germany is the opportunity to travel Europe. On this particular Sunday he was in Poland. He had already been to Frankfurt, Germany and Amsterdam, Netherlands. With each trip my envy increased. I was the one who always wanted to travel outside of the US. I wanted what he had. I wanted to experience what he was experiencing with him. The underlying truth being I was jealous that the Army had him instead of me.

In this ugly cry episode with my husband, I was focused on my own selfish desires and with that saying, “I am not satisfied with your plan, God.” And this was causing strife in my marriage.

It just so happened that shortly after the ugly cry episode I landed on the verse Psalm 21:19: “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Ouch

But God: “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

God brought me exactly where I needed to be, on my knees, in prayer, at His throne of Grace asking for mercy. And mercy is exactly what I received.

Envy and jealousy remains a struggle (not only in the matter with my husband) but I see God’s grace in bringing the sin to light so that He can set me free from it.

I had intentions of telling you what I’ve discovered about right thinking versus wrong thinking (Romans 12:3-8) but this post has reached my word count limit so we shall save the topic for another time.

As Emily Freeman ends most of her posts, "may grace surprise you kindly today."

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