God's Providential Hand

This past Friday, April 13th, my husband messaged me saying, “Today is 8 years complete.”  On April 13, 2010 he enlisted in the Army Reserves.

My response… It has been a crazy 8 years.

Our military life journey began before the April 13th date. Maybe it began with me thinking I could forbid my husband to speak about our son potentially enlisting in the military. I actually stormed out on a dinner date with my younger sister and her husband because my husband had the audacity to bring up the topic yet again.

My standard response to the idea… No!! I will not have it.

I imagine our God has a sense of humor and I think every time I made this declaration He smiled with a hint of laughter for the story He had already written for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 19:11).”

Here we are 8 years later. I tried to forbid military life for our son and it became a way of life for us as a family. Even after my acceptance to this drastic life change (my husband was 41 at the time he enlisted) never could I have imagined what God had planned for us.

Our present reality is not the focus of this post though. The focus I desire is God’s sovereignty.

Because this I believe… that night when I stormed out of the restaurant and left my husband in the care of family to drive him home, God’s providential hand was at work. It had been at work in and through and over us all along writing our But God story with defining moments that would discipline us to get our attention. That night in the restaurant was one of those defining moments.

Another defining moment came when in a counseling session with our son and a counselor we used for several years for us individually and as a couple. Enlistment in the military came up in the discussion as an option for our son and my son’s response was, “My mom won’t let me.”

My son did not need my consent. He simply wanted my support.

He enlisted for the first time in the U.S. Navy on April 30, 2009 (there’s more to this story which involves a broken collar bone, a cancelled contract and another enlistment).

Another rather significant defining moment came when my husband approached me with his desire to enlist in the Army Reserves. I did not storm out of the restaurant we were in that evening when, dare I say, he bravely told me of this desire. Quite the opposite happened – I looked at him with overflowing admiration.

On September 18, 2010 we celebrated my husband’s departure for Basic Training and our son’s departure to soon follow in January 2011.

Seriously, we were not capable of dreaming up such a story. But God is able to write such a story.

I had every intention of winning in forbidding military life for our family. But God in turn used military life to draw us to Him (read story here). I can now look back and see His providential hand in those defining moments, and all the moments between, bringing us to where we are now.

I see God in all things. I can go back to the day I first told my husband I wanted a divorce. An early morning in bed where I sat up, looked at him convinced a life apart was the best way, and told him, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I see all the ways God put obstacles and storms in our path to redirect us to His way for us. I see all the ways God chased after us… where he was leaving the 99 to go after two.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Reckless Love, Cory Asbury

As our Executive Pastor said in his sermon last Sunday on Jonah, Chapter 1 – “The Love of God chases us. He doesn’t give up on us.”

God was relentless in getting our attention to re-route us to Him with a soul purpose of life transformation – a new life with Him at the center.

The sovereign, providential hand of God did whatever was required to get us where we needed to be – in a relationship with Him - because of His overwhelming, never-ending reckless love for us. May our response to His discipline and love always be, “Lord, have your way with us.” I say this because I’m full aware there is much more work to be done.

But I am confident of this, “he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).”

I have far extended my word count limit, friends. I pray the post to follow this will tell you what I desire to say when someone questions the realness of our God. I pray for boldness to speak of His most excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31). I pray I never tire of giving thanks for HIS providential hand in my (in our) life.


“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15).”

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All Together Lovely

We welcomed home our son from his second seven-month deployment this week. I will not even try to describe the emotions with words for words are not needed – our first hug, captured by a photographer, says it all.

At the first sighting of his ship the tears began pouring out. Then there was a somewhat long pause in the tears as we waited for his ship to actually dock and for them to debark.  It’s a slow process, friends.

Once we spotted him walking toward us, the tears poured out again.

They were tears of relief.
They were tears of pure happiness.
They were tears of praise.

Another deployment is behind us – four deployments are now behind us. Praise God neither my husband nor our son has another deployment looming before them.

For the first time since June 2016, our family would spend two full days together.

Of course, throughout our son’s deployment we prayed for his (their) safe return. As the months became weeks and the weeks became days, I found myself praying more earnestly for God to fill me with courage to speak His truth to our boys once we were finally together.

Truthfully, I prayed not only for that but for a “perfect” two days together.

I prayed for us to be a light – to point our boys and the women in their lives to Him. I prayed for our words to be praiseworthy and uplifting. I prayed for our conversations to be filled with love and joy.
I prayed for our conversations to reflect patience, kindness, and gentleness. I prayed for those conversations to be open and to simply overflow with goodness. I prayed for everything to be perfect!

I am sure it will not surprise you to hear our time together fell short of perfection. Go figure, right?

That is not to say we were not a light, or our words were not praiseworthy and uplifting. And certainly there were many moments where the fruits of the Spirit were displayed. At least I hope so.

But when I climbed into bed those two nights, I wrestled with questions like: What could I have done better? What could I have said differently? What should I have said that I didn’t say? What should I have done that I didn’t do? In what way(s) did I contribute to our time together being less than perfect?

After almost twenty-seven years of parenting our boys, I am still a work in progress on parenting and loving them well. I know we will never arrive at a state of perfection this side of heaven. Regardless of this knowledge, there’s a continual plea to God to help me parent and love them better.

Please, don’t let me (or us) be the one(s) to cause them to stumble.

Oh how I pray for God to help me to love them so well they would see and experience His love.

I know I can often be too hard on myself. I am frequently guilty of believing the “you messed up again” lies from the enemy. I know our children are aware of how much they are loved by us, whether or not we parent and love well all the time. But the deepest desire of my heart is for them to know how much they are loved by God.

Therefore, I will never stop praying for the things I pray. I think I shall stop praying for perfection though.

Instead, I will trust our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness, everlasting, ever-present and never-failing God (Isaiah 9:6-7) to carry out His work in me to completion.

And I will praise Him for the grace upon grace He pours out on me every single day when I don’t do this parenting and loving thing well because there surely are plenty of days when I do not.

Most of all, I will keep looking to Jesus and I will love Him most so I will love our children best.

****

By the way, the two days our family spent together were in so many ways all together lovely.

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Forget Less; Remember More

I have a long sleeve shirt I purchased early on in our new to military life way of living. I do not recall where I purchased the shirt other than to say it was an online military faith-based site.

On the front of the shirt it reads, "Not even the military can mess with God’s plans."

The shirt has hardly been worn (maybe once or twice) but I threw it on one Thursday evening shortly before my husband returned home for a long weekend (Memorial Day Weekend). Because he tends to be rather observant, it did not take him long to ask about the shirt.

“Is that really in the Bible?”

Confused by his question, I looked down at the front of my shirt to read the quote again. I then noticed a scripture reference under the quote… Jeremiah 29:11

I, of course, went to the Bible to compare the quote to the verse it referenced. While not in those exact words, the Bible does indeed say not even the military can mess with God's plans. Nothing can mess with His plans.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

The smile on my face became more profound as I chuckled over God connecting the quote and verse for I have been guilty of frustration with God over the change in plans to my husband's second deployment. I have referred to the change as the no plan, plan.

As much as the nine months apart from my husband for his first deployment made me weary, God used the time apart to grow us both spiritually and as a couple. While I did not expect the second deployment to be completely similar to the first, deep down I had a longing for God to do the same work in us again.

New growth quickly revealed itself the second time around.

My husband connected to a church and a men's Bible study once arriving at what would be his home for nine months. He was in God’s word. These were answers to long awaited prayer requests. And our conversations via Skype were some of the best we've had.

Thank you, God. I can do this again if you will do your thing again.

Then plans abruptly changed.

Certainly I had much joy and peace in my heart to have my husband stateside; however I perceived the changes as God taking away answers to prayer.

My husband was no longer attending a weekly church service.
He was no longer connected to a men’s Bible study.
He was no longer spending time in God’s word.
Skype connections were not good which left us both frustrated.

Why, God? You asked him to go and we obeyed. Where is the blessing for our obedience?

But God, His ways are not our ways. His plans are always perfect and they come to fruition in His perfect timing.

I have created my own new go-to quote: "May I forget less and remember more that God will show Himself faithful."

Friends, like those Israelites, I forgot and I did my fair share of grumbling for things not going the way we planned for them to go. Let's consider for a moment if plans had gone the way we had planned, or let's say the way the military had led us to plan for...

This picture I now have of my family together again (together for an outdoor church service too!) would not exist for we would still be waiting for my husband to return home.

My husband eventually connected with a church too. And I know I can trust God with the other things. Thankfully, my husband is now home and we don’t need to fret about Skype connections!

I prayed for God to do again what He did in us and through us during my husband's first deployment. I thought my prayer went unanswered.

But God did answer. The ways He did it again may look different, yet the end result is the same... all praise and glory to our God. For all we've been given, all the together moments, all the growth, is only because of Him.

"I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever." Psalm 86:12

Yes, friends, not even the military can mess with God’s plans! Praise God! He is good ALWAYS!

May we forgot less and remember more that He will show Himself faithful.

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Sharing with AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous Link-Up Party, Jennifer Dukes Lee for her Tell His Story Link-Up and the Let Us Walk Worthy Link-Up.

He Loves Perfectly

Several posts ago, the one on twirling, I mentioned I had attended an IF:LOCAL gathering. Then I briefly told you of a long-time desire to gather women around my table. I told you I intended to stop talking and instead “trust God and move.” I also said if you did not see a post on this gathering by the end of March it meant I needed encouragement in the bravery department.

It is almost the end of March…

I gave deep thought to what to call this gathering of women (a catchy name is a must), and who to invite. A part of me loved the idea of posting an open invitation on Facebook to local friends. Typical to my nature, I questioned the idea. Various discussion ideas played out in my head. Mainly, I knew I had to trust God with the details by letting go of control and any expectations I had for this gathering.

Truth be told, I lost bravery quickly and did nothing.

Then a dear friend who had joined me at the IF:LOCAL sent me a text to tell me of the step of faith she had taken. In her text she included a copy of the invitation she would soon send to those invited to gather at her table.

My initial reaction: JEALOUSY!

My next reaction (because let us not park long on jealousy.): Be brave, Beth. If God has placed this desire on your heart He also asks you to step out in faith.

So I got brave and designed an invitation with the help of Paperless Post.

The catchy name was going to be "A Table of Hope Builders"

Then I lost bravery again when it came time to add the names of those on my heart to invite. The enemy gained a foothold on my thoughts.

What makes you think anyone wants to gather around your table?
No one will show up.
Don't press that send button, Beth. 

Enter, deep sigh.

I had not fully given up on the idea. I have been in God's Word long enough to know lies versus truth. And I so want to be finished with believing lies.

It sure felt like God was closing the door on this gathering though.

A whirlwind of changes began when my husband returned to the states much sooner than planned due to medical issues. Rightfully so, all other plans came to a halt. The gathering of women around my table would need to wait, or maybe my heart's desire (my prayer) was to go unanswered.

On the other hand, God often answers our prayers differently from what we specifically pray for, giving us the opportunity to see Him in a new way

 "God takes something little--a small request--and replaces it with a much bigger answer." ~ Kelly O'Dell Stanley, Praying Upside Down

This past Saturday, the Saturday I had intended to gather women around my table, without an official invite extended, two ladies at two different times joined me at my table. As I hugged and said good-bye to the second lady I had a moment of sudden realization. God had answered my prayer.

Maybe He did not answer with what we might call a much bigger answer, but the right answer. Because God’s ways are always right; they are abundantly above all that can we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

God answered another prayer too.

Since the day my husband departed for his second deployment I had asked God to make our time apart go quickly. Please God, make this time of separation not feel like forever for there are days when it feels like forever until I will see him again.

He replaced my small request with a much bigger answer. I may not fully understand why He answered this way but as I have said previously, the why does not matter. And God did not cause my husband's injury to bring him home sooner; He allowed and used a circumstance to accomplish what He had always intended… an earlier reunion for two people who obediently said yes to His calling (another deployment) but also longed to be together again.

As I navigate a season of change and uncertainty, God reminded me of a truth I desperately need to cling to: God can be trusted to love perfectly. “God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true” (Psalm 18:30).

So in the midst of this somewhat difficult season, I will praise Him. For when we belong to Him we will always find Him to be Faithful and True (BSF notes). He alone gives us joy today and forever.

It is well with my soul…

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A Blessed Reunion

My husband's first homecoming, after a nine month deployment, came with much pomp and circumstance. {Preview here}

This homecoming came with a quiet, thankfully uneventful, seven hour drive to Kentucky, a big ol' smile directed to the security guard (because I was rather joyful over my arrival) as I crossed through the military base gate, a last minute "oh my goodness" moment when I realized I had no makeup on (even though hubs could care less about makeup) and then a look out the front window of the car to see my husband walk toward me.

There was no fanfare; there was just the two of us.

He warned me ahead of time not to jump on him. You see, the different kind of homecoming came because he returned home early due to medical issues that arose while deployed.

I ran to him with a squeal of excitement. Per his request not to jump on him, I instead hugged him gently. He still squirmed from bursts of pain. Then we walked hand and hand, smile to smile, to pack him up for our weekend retreat.

He may look fine in pictures and to passer-byers, yet this warrior of mine is not fine. Several herniated discs in his neck have him in constant discomfort. I saw the level of discomfort rather quickly during our hour drive to Shelter Point Retreat on Kentucky Lake in Murray, Kentucky. Oh my poor husband. He couldn't get out of the car quick enough.

But here at this lovely home of a dear friend through blogging, we celebrated our reunion. 

The why did it happen this way and what happens next did not matter. God perfectly designed our reunion in His perfect timing.

****

I have noticed my ability to compare. I compare myself to others way more than I would like to admit and I also compare my own experiences to each other. I have done much comparing of this homecoming to the last one. Both types of comparisons can steal your joy.

Maybe the comparison of homecomings happens because I believe a service member’s homecoming should be what my husband received when he returned home from his first deployment. That homecoming lived up to my expectations; it exceeded my expectations.

And maybe, more so likely, God seeks to teach what I should already know: it's not about us and our expectations... it's about Him.

It's always about Him.

God determined when and how my husband would return home from his first deployment and his second deployment. He determined one would have fanfare and one would be more intimate. Both equally appropriate and beautiful because God had returned my husband to U.S soil, into my arms and then gave us precious moments together. “To God be the glory forever and ever! Amen.”

As I reflect on the last few days with the man I love, there is no place for comparison. I only have room for gratitude.

Gratitude to God for my husband’s safe return home.

Gratitude to God for the time we had together.

Gratitude to God for the special lady He placed in my life who gave us a most wonderful gift: A warm and loving place of shelter. A place of shelter which ultimately pointed me back to the One who is our shelter and provides everything we need.

The name Shelter Point Retreat is a rather appropriate name for her gem of a home on the lake.

If you are in need of a getaway, I highly recommend you check out my friend's place. Visit the VRBO listing here and the Facebook page here. Kristin also writes about her retreat home here. It's more lovely than I could describe or show through photos.

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The Unchanging One

I must admit, I remain unsure of God's desire for me when it comes to writing. It stays low on my priority list. Maybe I expect the process and results to be similar to what it once was. Maybe God seeks to teach me to simply trust in Him.

So I write when I sense He's prompting me to write. If time between posts become days, weeks or months, all will be well. If readership plummets from inconsistency (or the other things which can positively impact readership) all will be well. If grammar and punctuation are downright awful, all will be well. It needs to be because I'm done with the fight to be something or someone I am not.

Just write and trust Me. Honestly, the writing part can be harder than the trust part. I do not know where to begin with the writing. I know Him, at least better than I once did, and I know He can be trusted.

Now, if we sat together over coffee I would likely ramble on and on. Our time together might come to an end with me wondering if I allowed adequate time for you to spill your guts out too. I dislike the thought that I may have made it all about me. I want to hear from you too… I really do. Please God, whatever I said, may it have pointed to You.

I have much to tell you. God continues to transform me in mighty ways. Discover could be my one word for 2016, if I were to choose a word. I discover new truths about myself and also about God. The truths about me are not easy to accept yet necessary.

The truths about God... Oh may we not be done uncovering more truths about God until the day He brings us home and reveals all the mysteries.

I see God in all things. I hope I point to God in all things. Like when I admit to a heart struggle, I hope you know my faith remains grounded in who He is and His promises. There are admittedly days when I am shaken. But when those days come, I know where to go: Gods Word, prayer and godly friends.

I wrote the first part of this post several weeks ago and I now chuckle over the title I chose. Only God could know how much the truth of how He's unchanging would be needed right now. Because truthfully, friends, I struggle lately with change. And I struggle with good change, which seems so crazy.

For reasons, I have said little about my husband's deployment in this space. However, if we are friends on Facebook you may have caught wind of news that my husband is back in the states. This happened much sooner than planned. I obviously prefer his boots be planted on U.S. soil rather than foreign, unsafe soil.

But this is a change from laid out plans and I often do not handle change well.

The previous plan: I would see him again September-ish. I did not love this plan but I had accepted it and fallen into somewhat of a routine.

The new plan: there is no plan. He's not home and I don't know when he will be home. He's back due to medical issues (not life threatening but significant enough for the mission to end early for him.) and we do not have answers on how the medical issues will be addressed.

He's been back for several days and now resides only 7 hours away from me (we are actually in the same time zone) but we wait for our chance to see each other. I'd love for it to be easy to pack up and go, but it's not.

[Thankfully we now have a plan in place to see each other soon.]

His unplanned return impacts other plans too. Please don't hear me wrong, this is not a complaint; just truth.

Bottom line: the changes, the unknown and the waiting have shaken me some.

The truths I cling to are:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 (NIV)

"The grass withers, and the flowers fade, but the word of our God endures forever." Isaiah 40:8 (NIV)

"The Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken." Psalm 33:11 (NLT)

It is well with my soul, friends. It really, really is. But it is well with my soul only because of who He is and because I am His. No matter the changes, unknowns or time of waiting, that truth is enough for me.

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And the twirling returns

Topics I could write about here in this space twirl through my head again. They had stopped for a period of time. It could also be I stopped paying attention. In any case, they are twirling again.

A decision on the topic I want to explore with you takes longer to come. I want the process of writing to come with more ease so I pray for God to be clear on the topic and timing. Then, “Please, God, let the words flow. If you could take care of the grammar and so forth, that would be great too. Amen!”

I could write on deployments and how the second time around is so very different from the first.

I could likely write on various topics when it comes to deployments. Does it make sense to say I find the topic to also be very personal? There's an intimacy experienced with my husband and also with God meant only for me. Maybe my encouragement on deployments should simply be this... Don't minimize what God can do.

I could write on prayer. God does a mighty work in my heart on how prayer really works. He challenges me to look closer at my current prayer life. Where does it lack? What is prayer and what should it look like? He provides a new perspective through books like, the Power of a Praying Wife and Praying Upside Down.

I could write on feelings and how they can be so deceptive. Satan does his usual thing... he attempts to steal my joy but seriously, take a hike loser!! I'm done with you.

I could write on another life change I will soon embark on. Instead, for security purposes hubs and I have decided the topic should be left for another time. Like most life changes, it won't be an easy one. At the same time, I see God hand me another opportunity to go deeper with Him.

I could write on spiritual growth too. Where to begin though? God is just so good!

Oh, I could totally write all about the IF:LOCAL I attended this past weekend! Let’s talk about gathering around tables!!! It has been a desire of mine for far too long to gather women around my table. I need to stop talking and move. Trust God and move. Would you please nudge me if you do not see a post from me by the end of March on my first gathering? If you do not it means I need encouragement to be brave.

Friends, I move slower these days. I'm present more. Priorities are rightly aligned. Not perfect yet right for this season. The days are not easy. I miss my husband more and more with each passing day. I also love him more and more with each passing day.

And I'm reminded of my two favorite words in the Bible daily.

“But God.”

I hold tightly to those two words. No matter what we may endure, we are to trust and wait on God. He has a “But God” story for us. Actually, we are already in the midst of our “But God” story for “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). We find the ultimate good He accomplishes in verse 29: “For those God foreknew He also predestines to be conformed to the image of His son.”

“God is able to use everything in life, good or bad, to make His children more like Jesus.” Bible Study Fellowship

Be comforted by this truth.

Draw near to Him. “Taste and see that He is good” Psalm 34:8.

And listen to this…

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He makes all things new

I married my husband again this past Saturday and our special day was everything we wanted it to be and more so.

My cup runneth over.

It’s hard to decide where to begin. How could I possibly describe our day from start to end in one post? Maybe it does not need to be one post.

A little side note: it feels strange to return here with it being so long since I last wrote. But now is not the time to talk about the uncertainty of this blog's future. I shall continue to leave it in God’s hands.

When my husband and I first met with our Executive Pastor to tell him of our desire to renew our wedding vows, we expressed how we wanted the day to be all about God. The renewal of our vows was not about us but about what God had done in our lives and in our marriage since we accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior. All praise and glory for the twenty-five years we celebrate together must go to Him.

And all praise and glory did go to Him.

He shall even receive all praise and glory for working out every single detail as we planned for our special day. As I look back, I see how He filled the gaps by sending just the right person at just the right time to come along side of us to think of the one detail we had not yet thought of. He guided us in the decision making process and kept us free from worry… with Him at the center our day would be everything He wanted it to be. It would be what He always intended for this day was written in His book long ago.

I realized the evening before we would marry again that we were about to do the very thing Satan had tried to prevent for twenty-five years. Satan decided to step up his game, friends. But our God is stronger.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

After a difficult night, on the morning of our vow renewal day I gathered our family around an oak table in the living room with our hands held tightly together and declared to Satan, “You are not welcome here. You will not steal our joy. We know how the story goes… God wins. And He wins here today too.”

A few hours later I stood in the dressing room of our venue in a wedding dress God had chosen specifically for me with my eyes closed and listened to family and friends in the room next to me join our worship team in singing:

“Let our praise be Your welcome
Let our songs be a sign
We are here for You, we are here for You

Let Your breath come from heaven
Fill our hearts with Your life
We are here for You, we are here for You”

Here For You, by Matt Redman

We welcomed God into that place. His presence filled the room. It was all about Him, just as it should be.

Then our two children, now young adults, each put an arm in one of mine and together we took the walk I had been anxiously waiting to take toward my husband. As we walked across a lovely white runner, which included the words from Mark 10:9 thanks to my mother, our voices continued to give Him praise as we sang:

“For all Your goodness
I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons
For my heart to find”

10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord), by Matt Redman

Oh yes, God. There are ten thousand reasons and more for my heart to find.

How do I describe the emotions which came as I reached out my hand to take my husband’s hand in mine with our boys standing beside us, with family and friends surrounding us and with God in our midst? I loved my husband so very much on the day when we first said “I do” but never did I imagine how my love for him would grow over the next twenty-five years. Only God could write such a story.

There is so much more to share with you. Isn’t that so like God? With Him, there is always more. And I will share the “more” with you as time allows and as we receive photos from our photographer.

For now, can you guess how our ceremony ended? From the moment we decided to renew our vows, we knew the ceremony could end only one way. We turned toward our family and friends with joy overflowing and sang, “How Great is Our God!”

Our special day was much more than a renewal of our vows. God gave us a new marriage; a transformation only He could do. All praise and glory went to Him and will continue to go to Him.

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Remember His Faithfulness

I sit here in my office and stare at a picture of me and my husband which sits on my desk.

The picture was taken a month before he departed for his first deployment. A photo session offered by a friend became much more than a photo session. The photos captured tender moments between the two of us knowing our See-You-Later moment neared.

There are other pictures scattered around my desk too.

Our last gathering as a family happened in August 2013. It feels like many moons ago.

Soon we will gather again to welcome home our eldest son from his deployment. When I daydream about the day (which I do often) it leads to tears every single time.

At the same time, there’s much remembering these days. I remember the good and not-so-good seasons of the twenty six years with my husband and raising two children together. The not-so-good seasons are preferred forgotten. But God has us remember to see His faithfulness. Like He did with the Israelites, He wants us to remember how He delivered us.

We preserve our faith and trust in God by remembering His grace in our lives. And we make His grace known for generations to come. It’s what brings me here to tell our story.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” ~~ Deuteronomy 4:9

Oh, the grace . . . undeserved grace.

We have experienced our share of trials and temptations. In our four years as Christ followers, our faith has been challenged and it will continue to be challenged for years to come.

For this reason we “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). We fight for our faith always, not only in the not-so-good times.

How do we fight for our faith?

We fight for our faith by remembering. We remember that God did not promise a trouble free walk with Him. We are promised the direct opposite by Jesus in John 16:33. He does promise to walk us through the storms of life toward an eternal life with Him.

“Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” ~~ 1 Timothy 6:12

I keep identifying with the Israelites.

In Leviticus 9 when the glory of the Lord appeared to all the Israelites (v. 23) it says they “shouted for joy and fell facedown” (v. 24).

Whether I look back or look forward, I see the glory of the Lord. For God is in all things. He’s omniscient: past, present and future. He is Immanuel, God with us. What else should our response be to such grace other than to fall on our knees with shouts of joy?

And “though [we] have not seen him, [we] love him; and even though [we] do not now see him now, [we] believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for [we] are receiving the end result of [our] faith, the salvation of [our] souls.” ~~ 1 Peter 1:8-9

This is faith: Faith is belief in the one and only true God without actually seeing Him.

So, again, how do we fight for our faith?

We believe even though we do not see Him.
We remember His faithfulness in bringing us this far.
And we trust Him with the un-known future.

Trust requires us to put aside our own desires for His. We deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23) because He has proven Himself faithful. We have come to know His ways are far better than our ways.

When we fight for our faith the result is a deeper and more intimate walk with Him. Oh, how He wants us to know Him. And there's always more for us to know. We are never complete in the task of knowing Him.

Knowing God makes all the difference no matter what we face, for over time our faith becomes bigger than our fears. And when God leads us straight into our deepest fear we are better equipped to trust that He knows what He's doing. We can respond to His call saying: "I will follow you no matter the cost because my trust is in You."

This is why we can consider it “pure joy” when we face trials, because we know the testing of our faith produces perseverance (James 1:2).

So “Let perseverance finish its work so that [we] may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” ~~ James 1:3

How do you fight for your faith? How do you persevere during trials?

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