Three Word Wednesday: Love at Hello

Throughout my husband’s deployment the way he greets me via a text message, email, or over the phone never leaves me questioning his love for me or how much he misses me. When we are able to Skype we do this silly movement with our hands as we say good-bye too. Neither of us remembers how it started or what the movement means but it’s now the thing we do and I love our thing.

With an end to the deployment in sight, I dream about his homecoming A LOT. A video of a military homecoming brings me to tears. Imagining my husband’s homecoming brings buckets of tears . . . joyful tears.

In Dare #9 of The Love Dare book it states how you can tell a lot about the current status of a couple’s marriage by the way they greet one another. “You can see it in her smile, hear it in his voice, and sense it in the tenderness of their touch. Or lack thereof.” (pg. 41)

Don't expect to see a lack thereof when my husband walks off his plane. He will receive one big kiss the moment he’s within my reach.

There have been seasons when our greetings lacked tenderness. I wore fewer smiles during those seasons and my voice did not reflect a woman who loves her husband. We had our seasons of playing the role of a happily married couple when underneath we were anything but happy.

I am not ignorant to the fact that difficult seasons will come our way again.

My husband’s reintegration back to civilian life will come with challenges. I have a choice in how I choose to greet my husband during those seasons. Even if feelings are contrary, I can choose to be kind. There is always a reason to choose kindness — “love being the greatest reason of all.” Because love is a choice we make.

“While greetings can reflect what’s currently happening in a relationship, they can also become a loving investment in its future health.” (pg. 41)

The writers refer to the story told by Jesus of the prodigal son. After making poor choices the son returns home humbled and ashamed expecting to live like one of his father’s hired servants. The greeting he anticipated was not the one he received. “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).

The way I choose to greet my husband can set the stage for better moments ahead. A loving greeting communicates he is loved and treasured no matter the circumstances. It’s a gift I can give to him every single day. Just like Christ gives to me (us).

A smile came to my face as I read on in the chapter and came to these words: "So choose to love at hello." Like me, those words may remind you of the movie Jerry Maguire. You know the scene toward the end of the movie when Jerry (Tom Cruise) proclaims his love to Dorothy (Renee Zellweger)? Dorothy eventually stops him and says, "You had me at hello."

My prayer is that my husband knows he wins my heart at hello. He will have imperfect moments (so will I) and choosing to love him at hello won't always come with ease but love makes the choice to see beyond the imperfections and to love anyways. I choose to love my husband well beginning with hello.

I realize it may be easier to make such a promise with my husband on the other end of the world. What happens when he returns home and those nuances we both bring to our marriage are back in the game? I hope the time we have spent apart has taught me to never take for granted the ability to greet him with a warm touch the moment he walks in the door.

“Since we each have no guarantee of tomorrow, every new day with our spouse is a gift from God for us to cherish and enjoy.” (pg. 43)

I don't know what the future holds. Only God knows. But I know this love dare challenge and the time I am spending with God is changing my heart. If I am not choosing love the problem lies within my own heart. Thankfully, I have access to the One who is in the business of heart transplants.

Scripture reveals that He places significant value on marriages. I trust Him completely too continually work on this heart of mine to teach me how to love my husband with His kind of love.

Dare #1: Love is patient

Dare #2: Love is kind

Dare #3: Love is not selfish

Dare #4: Love is thoughtful

Dare #5: Love is not rude

Dare #6: Love is not irritable

Dare #7: Love believes the best

Dare #8: Love is not jealous

Dare #9: Love makes good impressions

Next week: Love is unconditional