My hope is found in Him

In many ways it’s a beautiful season for me. I see His goodness bursting forth in all things. I adore this time of being more intentional in my relationships with my husband, children and friends.  The days seem to move at a slower pace, a delightful pace of cherishing each and every moment.

This season isn't absent of sorrow. My heart mourns the loss of someone I love deeply. I have learned that a loss can come in many different forms; it does not only come with death. I pray daily for the person I love to choose differently. I pray daily for God to teach me to extend love, even if it goes unseen, no matter how this part of our story unfolds.

God takes us through different seasons. I believe in every season He seeks to reveal truth about Himself, give us new wisdom for our spiritual journey and leave us with a promise for more of Him.

I see it in His letters to the seven churches in the province of Asia (Revelations 1:4) as I read the Book of Revelation. Each one begins with a picture of Him, then gives a warning and ends with a promise.

It begins and ends with Him.

It’s all about Him.

I find myself wrestling with God at times over this season of less writing He has brought me to. The wrestle comes in the form of jealousy and comparison as my Facebook news-feed fills with beautiful posts written by others whom I adore. Jealousy and comparison is an ugly thing. It absolutely steals your joy. But He came to give us life to the fullest (John 10:10).

So God doesn't leave me in the wrestle.

He reminds me of who He is and who I am in Him.
He extends gentle warnings through His Word.
He promises more of Him if I choose to trust and obey Him.

I trust in you, Lord. 
You are good.
You are faithful.

I was asked recently to describe what made me fall in love with Jesus and what makes me follow Him. My response came with ease but it also came with wet eyes. Love stories are usually told with wet eyes.

It's for two words: redemption and transformation. I witnessed how He redeems and makes all things new. You can read our story here. And His work of redemption and transformation never ends. There's always more: more ways we need to surrender to Him and more ways He wants to transform us.

He is my hope . . . the hope for better. A life without Him would be a life without hope. A life without Him is one I will not choose.

Maybe what I love most about this season is how I have fallen in love with Him all over again. As He becomes greater in my life (John 3:30), through devoted time with Him and In His Word, He performs new miracles. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). I come before Him with my fears, doubts and thoughts of unworthiness, and He says, "I'm not finished with you yet, Beth. Look, I am doing a new thing" (Isaiah 43:19).

I have come to a place of knowing this season He has me in is the very place I need to be. I can see so clearly His love and goodness, even in the midst of sorrow. He will not waste this. There will be beauty on the other side. There will be a transformation. I know this with every fiber of my being because I have come to know Him.

This is the hope I profess: He is faithful. He is good always. His love is never-ending. His arms are far reaching—nothing is too far off for Him to redeem and transform.

It’s the hope which keeps my eyes and heart set on Him always. When He comes to my door He does not need to knock because the door to my heart remains wide open (Revelation 3:20).

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Messy and Beautiful Love

I planned a getaway for us while my husband’s boots still stood on foreign soil; on enemy soil. After some research, I discovered the American Club in Kohler, Wisconsin offered fifty percent off their room rates for Veterans over the Veterans Day holiday. The American Club happens to be where we spent our honeymoon twenty-four years ago.

Something seemed so right about going back to where our journey began.

On the way to our destination, we stopped for lunch at this cute fish restaurant which sat along Lake Michigan in Port Washington, Wisconsin. Our conversation over lunch consisted of reminiscing and also sharing our hopes and dreams for the future.

We talked about simple things too, like the list of 31 FREE Things To Do With Your Spouse For Fun found on Tricia Goyer’s blog.  We have plans to conquer all 31 things.

I lost track early on of how many times I told him, I love you, Dear.

We laughed over how little we remembered of our time in Kohler twenty-four years ago. We were twenty-one years old at the time. For the most part, all we remember is how anxious we were to return home to our four-month old son.

Neither of us felt anxious to return home this time around. With our four days away now behind us, I can also say I don’t expect either of us to have difficulty remembering this trip.

Does the name Kohler ring any bells? Think lovely kitchens and bathrooms. The loveliest ones you can imagine most likely include Kohler products. All sleeping rooms at the American Club, a five-star resort, include fancy sinks, showers and tubs. It’s glorious! Kohler, Wisconsin is a quaint and lovely town in and of itself.

When the bathtub in your room includes a blissful water experience via KOHLER Hydrotherapy (i.e. glorious whirlpool) it must be utilized. Yes, I am going there with this post. Our first night ended with the two of us naked in that tub.

But with all seriousness, it has nothing to do with the point of this post.

I had a rather messy moment in that bathtub but it ended with sheer beauty. God has this way of taking our messes and making them beautiful.

I could claim I panicked due to an unusual fear of water. More than likely it had much more to do with intense body image issues which have contributed to years of struggling with intimacy. It did not take long for me to want out of our glorious tub.

Instead, my husband turned me around so my back would face him. He took a sponge and began to gently scrub my back to calm my nerves and elevate those all too familiar insecurities.

I thanked him for how he loves me. I thanked him for his kindness and patience. His response, “I wasn’t always this way, Beth. I was not kind. I was not patient.” With my back toward my husband, tears rolled down my cheeks.  At the same time though, the nerves and insecurities were no longer present. They vanished as quickly as they started.

Remember how I said God takes the messy and makes something beautiful? The messy stuff is part of the story He writes. If we took away all the messy parts of our journey, would we see the depth of beauty God has created in our marriage? Without the messy parts would we have learned what it means to love one another? If we took away all the messy parts would we have realized our need for God?

Marriage is hard. It's messy. It never stops being hard and messy. Give me both though. I would not change one single scene of the story God has written for us and I trust Him with the story He continues to write.

Maybe you are still wondering what message I am trying to leave with you. Maybe it’s a message for those couples who are knee deep in mess. And my message for you is . . . Do not lose hope. Do not give up. Trust in God. Let Him help you write a better story. He will take all the messy stuff and create something more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

I believe the more deep the mess the more beautiful He’s able to create.

Trust in Him.

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