Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Three Word Wednesday: My Story Matters



Last week I shared how God planted a dream in my heart to tell my story and how the dream went beyond telling my story here. For me the dream is bigger than my dream to write a book.

I dream of standing before a group of women and telling them how a marriage can overcome lies, adultery, alcoholism, separations, depression, bulimia, emotional abuse and so much more.

When the dream first began God had only just begun moving into my heart. My marriage had overcome many obstacles but I believed it was by our own strength. If I would have told my story when I first had the dream my story would have been more about me and less about God.

My story has changed.

I’m trying to decide what details from those earlier chapters of my story are worthy of sharing. I type the word worthiness and begin to question the worthiness of telling my story period. Why does my story matter?

“You didn't make yourself in your mother’s womb, God did, and to say you aren't important is to say his creation lacks substance.” ~ Donald Miller, Storyline (pg. 24)

I keep waiting for my story to be tied up with a pretty bow. To stand and tell you about my days spent in a mental hospital because of an eating disorder, I must first have complete freedom from the disorder. I want to tell you my identity is completely wrapped up in God and all those insecurities that led to years of depression and an eating disorder no longer exist. My story needs to be perfect to be worthy of telling.

But we will never reach perfection in this lifetime. If we did, why would we need a savior?

"There will be no perfecting of ourselves this side of God's return so we might as well stop kicking ourselves around about our faults." (pg. 19)

So what makes my story worthy?

When I look back at the highlights of my story many of those highlights include heartache. I can now look back and see how God was always with me. He was silently moving into my heart.

I’m unable to tell you I've found complete freedom from my eating disorder. And, yes, I still have days when I place my identity in things other than Christ. But God (those two words are always followed by good news) is still with me and I know He has great plans for me.

“God created you and He created you with the power to bring light into darkness and order into chaos. You are necessary. And the sooner you believe that, the sooner you’ll bond with God in living a great story.” (pg. 23-24)

The story I want to tell you reflects all He’s done for me. It has many hallelujahs. God saved me. He saved my marriage and He saved my family.

If you asked my why I write I'd tell you every part of me wants others to know the God I now know. Can I be honest though? This writing is HARD. I'm struggling, like really struggling, to express my whole heart to you. Before God my world was filled with darkness. I was without hope.

But God (oh how I love those two words) pulled me out of that darkness. He gave me hope.

There is so much I'm leaving out. I don't know where to begin. Can you feel my heart though? I believe my story can save lives. Saying that to you has nothing to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with Him. I know without a doubt that everything I went through was Him preparing me to help Him bring light into darkness.

Satan intended to harm me, "but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." ~ Genesis 50:20

I don't know when my dream to actually stand before a group of women will become a reality. In the meantime, my prayer is somehow my heart is reflected in the words I write and they lead you to pursue God with all your heart. Make Him the theme of your story.

46 comments :

  1. Beth, YOU give me courage. Although I can't say I desire to stand before women to share my story, I do desire to tell it. Why is it I think my story is so much darker than others? But when we tell our stories, we give hope and courage to other women. I know you will stand tall one day, and tell your story. In the meantime, I am thankful for the glimpse of your story I receive when I come here to read. God has done a tremendous work in you and in your family. And yes, He's not finished yet. But He always finishes what He starts. The LORD will perfect that which concerns you! AMEN!

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    1. Thank you so much,Barbie, for your encouragement. This telling our story stuff is hard but when we share we glorify Him which makes it so worth it. I just need to figure out where to begin. :)
      Love you and always praying for you.

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  2. You are beautiful and courageous Beth! God has given you a gift to "show and tell"; to encourage and inspire women with your story. Shout it out my friend, and be an inspiration!

    I am excited to see where Storyline leads me to find my subplot in life... :) :)

    Blessings sweet friend!
    Denise

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    1. I'm delighted you are joining us in the Storyline study, Denise. It will be wonderful to get to know you better. Thanks for all you love and encouragement.

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  3. Thank you for your three words "My Story Matters", I am also struggling with the need to shed my past and tell my story. I am in prayer right now for the right words to put into a testimony that I want to give soon. Right now I do not have any words on paper, for when that happens then I will have truly committed to the testimony. So I am praying it to God and when it is his time the words will flow and they will be the right ones.

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    1. Saying a prayer for you right now as I know finding the words can be so hard. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing. I really do appreciate it.
      Blessings to you,
      Beth

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  4. Beth - Your story does matter. Each of our stories points to the truth that our past is not our present. Nor is it our identity. Our identity is now in Christ. We are His - Beth, daughter of the Living Lord. Joanne, daughter of the Living Lord. We are now women that are forgiven, redeemed, adopted, chosen, loved & free. Thank you for sharing & reminding us that we are His. Love, Joanne

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    1. I'm so grateful for all your love and encouragement, Joanne. You are a blessing to me. THANK YOU.

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  5. I hear your dream, sweet Beth. And yet, here you are, standing in front of us all, sharing your life, telling your story, loving and encouraging and challenging with such sweet grace.

    I'm wondering ... maybe you're already beginning to live your dream ... just in a different venue than you might have thought ...

    ;-}

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    1. Have I told you how wonderful you are? Truly, Linda. I'm always so touched by your comments. I'm so in awe of how He has placed such amazing friends in my life. Grateful for you.
      xoxoxo

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing your story, your important story with us. The truth is, you are already standing before women sharing your story, with your words of hope spread across the world.

    One of the reasons why I write, is to meet with others in their homes, where often there is a lot of pain, to share the hope I have found in Jesus, through my story :) .

    I can't wait to see where God leads you next.

    God bless

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    1. The hope you have found in Jesus is seen in everything you write, Anita. I know I've been blessed by our friendship and know you are surely a blessing to many. Thank you for all your love and encouragement.
      Much love,
      Beth

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  7. You are so brave, friend! Can you feel our hearts sending you comfort to go on with your story? Blessings to you!

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    1. Yes I can! Thank you! So glad you found your way here and appreciate you taking a moment to leave a comment. Blessings to you.

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  8. I've just recently started reading here, but even this one post has spoken volumes to me. I, too, would love to wait for the happy ending to share, but God has put a passion in my heart for sharing Him--and that means sharing the messy parts of my story. The process--not just the ending--brings Him glory.

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    1. I'm so glad you found your way here, Ginger. My hope is always that God uses my words to reach at least one person who needs to hear them so I'm truly touched by your comment. And oh yes...we need to share those messy parts too. It all brings Him glory. Much love to you.

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  9. Wow, Beth! This is so important. When we tell our stories and share what God has done in our lives, it brings honor and glory to Him. I think I've mentioned before that is why I started my blog...It took me a while to share my story, but when I did, I could feel His blessing. You and I share the same dream...I'm waiting for God to lead me in that next step. And while I wait, I am praising Him for His miraculous hand on my life and on my marriage. God is so good, isn't He? Our stories matter because our stories are all part of His story!

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    1. I love you, Joan. I know God brought us together in this blogging world for a reason. I'm just truly so touched by you. God is SO good.

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  10. Yes Beth, your story matterrs! It matters to you and it matters to a lot of women out there. It will take time, I am right there with you trying to figure out how my story shuold be told. We are dreamers together and I will be praying for you along this journey <3

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    1. I will be praying for you as well, Veronica. Your story matters too, my friend.

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  11. Oh how your story matters!! God began it with your life, is writing it each new day, and will finish it in victory - how we all wait for sweet victory ;) Thank you for sharing your words today at Coffee for Your Heart. Joine me here http://vintagehousewife.org/2014/02/12/praise-worthy-words-6/

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    1. Thank you, Shannon, for your kind words. I will be headed over to visit you soon.
      Blessings,
      Beth

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  12. Oh, dear Beth, your words truly penetrate into the hearts of more than myself. God is using you and reflects Himself to each one of us through pieces or all of your story as He does with others. I am grateful that I have come into your world for the stories you share here. God will orchestrate the moments and they will be His. Yes, "but God...." are powerful words for me too. He always is in the midst when we open our eyes.
    Caring through Christ and loving you too, ~ linda

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    1. Dearest Linda, I'm so grateful God brought us together in this lovely blogging world. You truly have been a blessing to me in many ways. THANK YOU!
      Yes, those two words give me goosebumps every time I read them.
      Love you,
      Beth

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  13. You matter, Beth! I'm so glad I've gotten to know you and look forward to hearing and witnessing more of your story. Thanks for joining me on the Storyline journey.

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    1. Me too, friend. I just love your heart and your stories. Can't wait to meet you soon!!!

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  14. "When I look back at the highlights of my story many of those highlights include heartache. I can now look back and see how God was always with me. He was silently moving into my heart." YES. The emptiness can't stay empty, and when He's moved in, we can be bold in sharing the story. I really needed this today, Beth! Moving further into the launch of my first book and there's this fight inside me of the "don't share too loud" variety, when I know God inspired the message. Argh. Choosing to lean into what He's done in me. Choosing courage. Glad to find you through the GSD.com linkup!

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    1. "The emptiness can't stay empty, and when He's moved in, we can be bold in sharing the story." Oh, I loved that Laurie. THANK YOU. I love how these linkup's connect us. Thank you so much for stopping in and for sharing. Blessings to you.

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  15. Oh my dearest Beth... Your story DOES matter... And I cannot wait to see the incredible glory God brings from it. Kudos for a bold faith and heart. Love you!

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  16. Your story, YOU, do matter. I'm so glad you are pushing through the hard of telling it, it will be such a blessing to others that are going through similar struggles. You bless so big!! I hope one day I have the honor and privilege of sitting in the audience and listening to you speak. (((HUGS)))

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    1. Alecia, so much encouragement has been found through the God-sized Dreams website which I know you are a part of so THANK YOU. I hope I get the opportunity to meet you period one day!!!
      {Hugs}

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  17. Hi there Beth, Hope your week is going good. Be good to yourself ;)

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    1. Thank you, Debbie. It's been a good week. I hope the same for you too.

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  18. Two of my most favorite words, But God... God has given you a beautiful dream, one that is not easy, but if it were maybe you could do it on your own - without Him. Instead He will walk with you through the hard to get to the beautiful, the telling of your story.

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    1. Those two words are SO good aren't they. Thanks so much, Mindy. Grateful to have connected with you in this beautiful blogging world.

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  19. Hi Beth! I think it's very true that we wait for the 'big finish' so we can write about the ending that cues the music. But life isn't like that is it? And your story and my story still matters very much. No one really connects to super-happy endings anyway. I think I love the struggle. I love the grace in the moment of every day. You can speak to that.

    Go for it.

    Happy Valentines Day :)
    Ceil

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    1. Oh me too, Ceil. Thanks for your love and encouragement. Happy Valentines Day. <3

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  20. What a beautiful heart you have! Thank you for being so vulnerable and so brave.

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  21. If I would have told my story when I first had the dream my story would have been more about me and less about God.

    I'm right there with you! Realizing that my story isn't great unless He is at the center.

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    1. So nice to see you here, Diana. Thanks for stopping in for sharing.
      Blessings to you,
      Beth

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  22. Beth, I love your heart. You are so transparent and lovely.

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  23. There is healing in sharing our stories -- I am so excited that you are sharing yours. Hugs and prayers :)

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  24. Beth,
    There is something powerful moving here.

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  25. Oh goodness. This is a rich post. Thank you for reminding us that are stories matter, even when we're "in process." Maybe especially then?

    Much love to you. I won't forget how you shared parts of your story with us in Sioux City.

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Much love to you.