Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Three Word Wednesday: He loves me.

I keep telling myself over and over again to be strong. Be Army Strong. Many wives have traveled this deployment road before me. Many have traveled the road multiple times. What right do I have to be sad? It's my first time though so this road is new to me.

It's too quiet in the house when my husband is gone. His presence is greatly missed. He may have his moments when he makes my blood boil, (usually it's over something insignificant like forgetting to shut a cabinet door for the millionth time) but mostly he makes my eyes light up.

What I miss most is how he leads us in prayer before every meal. Sometimes we take turns but lately he jumps right in. When we are with family or friends who are not Christians I tend to hesitate before praying; he does not. He politely tells them we pray before we eat and then gently reaches out to hold the hands of those next to him. You would have to know this man of mine to understand how huge this is.

He proudly returned home the other day displaying his new dog tags which now say he is a Christian instead of "No Religious Preference." Yep, I'm married to a man with a big heart for God.

The anticipation of him being away always draws us closer, even when only for a day or two. Our hugs and kisses linger longer. The airport drop off is delayed as long as possible. When we no longer have a choice and must say good-bye, I watch him as he walks away and admire his lean, strong body in that camouflage uniform. Thank you, God, for blessing me with this amazing man.

In a matter of minutes the text messages begin with exchanges saying, "I love you and miss you." The messages continue throughout our time apart.

I've gone on many walks this past week. It appears to be the best cure for my sadness. As I stroll along, I soak in the remaining days of warmth and sing along to the music playing through my phone. God stopped me on one of my walks as I came upon a small heart etched in to the sidewalk.


As I stare at this photo I begin to hum the words to a song by David Crowder.

"And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all"
~ How He Loves

I have re-written this last part about a dozen times now. I keep thinking I'm too focused on how I'm feeling and instead should be giving you a devotional on how deep God's love is for you. Should my three words be "He loves us" or "He loves you" instead? I'm certain the words He gave me were "He loves me."

My desire is always to draw you closer to Him. I'm quick to believe my words are not worthy of drawing you to Him. I let Satan's lies deceive me and instead of simply sharing my heart with you I spend far too much time trying to be someone I am not.

Here is where my heart is on the three words I am sharing with you today.

God gave me something I desperately needed this week. First, he gave me permission to be sad. I love how He used this blogging community to share truth I needed to hear.  "...give yourself the permission to feel all that your heart has been created to feel." ~ Sarah Markley, Close to the Broken-Hearted.

I also saw how present He is in my life and in my marriage. He gave me a glimpse of how He uses the time apart from my husband to draw me to a deeper dependence on Him. As I depend on Him, He gives me just what I need to endure; a peace in knowing just how much He loves me. He will meet all my needs as I continue to trust in Him.

Thank you for allowing me to write through my emotions here. Pressing publish will come with hesitation as this post feels so inward focused. My prayer is you will see what lies beneath my words. It's a desire for us all to come to a place of knowing how deep His love is for us. He loves me and He loves you too.

32 comments :

  1. Beth -
    Before I can link up, I must comment. What a beautiful post in so many ways. Yes, He loves me! It is so easy to believe that God loves you or others. So much harder to say & believe that He loves me as in me. Yet the evidences of His vast love for us is all around us very much like the etched heart on the sidewalk. Truly, truly He loves us. Each one of us. And He comes right into our hearts & lives where we feel the most. How amazing!
    Before even leaving this comment, I prayed for you & for your husband. For his safety as he serves us & our country. And for you, sweet friend, that He would comfort you as you miss the one our God brought you to love & love you.
    Thank you for sharing your heart this morning. I am grateful to have met you in this funny world of social media that we live in :) I love that God uses it for His good & glory & brings His people together.
    Hugs & Blessings,
    Joanne

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    1. Joanne, I couldn't agree more! I love how God connects us and then uses it for His good and glory. I couldn't have said that any better! Your comment came in shortly after hitting that publish button and it was such a blessing to me. Your words truly helped carry me through my day. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for your kindness and your prayers. And for linking up with me every week!! You are FABULOUS!!
      Much love and Hugs,
      Beth

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  2. Beth you words have pointed us back to God's love for us. Praying for you and your husband. I like how you pointed out that God gave you permission to be sad. Sometimes we try to deny our feelings but He has given us a whole range of emotions and He can handle them.

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    1. Hello Wanda! Thank you for your prayers. When I read the post from Sarah Markley it brought me to tears but those tears were so needed. I knew God delivered that message as though it was wrapped in a present just for me. Grateful for our online friendship!!
      Love and Hugs,
      Beth

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  3. Hi Beth! I know that your feelings are honored by God. After all, he gifted you with the love you have for your husband, your missing him is result of how much you love him! And you do, a LOT.

    I hope those walks keep you breathing in the peace. I love your photo. What a beautiful, simple reminder of love.
    You are always in my prayers, Beth.
    Ceil

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    1. I do miss him and the walks continue to be just what I need. I'm ever so grateful for Skype too so I can see his handsome face. Thanks for your kind comment and your prayers, Ceil. I feel so blessed today to be part of this blogging community. So many beautiful hearts...like yours!
      Much love,
      Beth

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  4. Dear Beth
    I have labored for so long in my life to harness my emotions, but what a blessed day when I realized that emotions are a gift of God. We can only ask Him to be The Lord of our feelings as well!
    Blessings XX
    Mia

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    1. Your comments always touch me deeply Mia. Thank you for always visiting and leaving such beautiful encouragement. You are a dear friend.
      Blessings,
      Beth

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  5. I'm going to link up later, but first I wanted to tell you that you're such an encouragement. That man of God you love is blessed to have you. May peace fill this season for you both!

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    1. Thank you so much Kristin. God is so good. I'm very grateful for all the love, support and prayers. I'm grateful for you.
      Much love and hugs,
      Beth

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  6. Beth, first I think sometimes the "inward" focused posts touch my heart so deeply. And it is because you let me see inside. I can weep with you, rejoice with you...whatever you are feeling, I can feel it, too. This means that the words God speaks to you, I can hear, too. And those are words I just might need to hear that very day.

    So proud of you for hitting publish. You are beautiful and amazing.

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    1. You are beautiful and amazing my friend! You've touched my heart deeply today. Thank you!! I hope you are feeling better.
      Love,
      Beth
      XO

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  7. I, too, am learning that emotions are God-given, although it is our choice what to do with them. It's been a tough few weeks here in our home, but I've been receiving a similar message. Cut yourself some slack! :) I love the verse in Hebrews that talks about how we do NOT have a great High Priest who cannot understand our suffering. It brings me great comfort. Thanks for sharing!
    Jen :)

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    1. Oh thank you!!! "Cut yourself some slack!" This made me smile and I needed to smile. I will be stopping over to visit you. Thank you for coming by and sharing.

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  8. Beautiful post my friend!! Love that song...too funny, I was just listening to it about 30 minutes ago! Praying for you and your family during this difficult time. Thank God you've got an amazing family and great memories to hold onto until his safe return! ;-) I'm in awe of the fact that He is mindful of us and He cares about what concerns us! Oh how I love our sweet Savior...YES, oh how He loves me(us)! :-) Thanks so much for your sweet and sincere post Beth and thanks for linking it up! Blessings to you and your family my friend! xoxo

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    1. I'm still singing that song. It's one of my favorites. He is SO good isn't he? Thank you for your kind words and for hosting us over at your place. Thank you too for joining me here for Three Word Wednesday.
      Many blessings to you.
      Beth

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  9. First and foremost... Thank you! Thank you for your service and sacrifice... we so often pray for and remember the soldiers deployed (as we should) - but it's reading posts like this, and talking with the family - the kids and spouses waiting at home that reminds me of what a great sacrifice the entire family makes, so that one could go! So - thank you!

    Thank you also for this reminder of How He loves us! (I LOVE that song... all versions - but the Kim Walker version undoes me every single time!)

    Praying for you all...
    ~Karrilee~

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    1. I will need to check out the Kim Walker version. Thank you for pointing that out. Thank you too Karrilee for your kind words and your prayers.
      Many blessings,
      Beth

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  10. This is a beautiful post Beth. I think that sometimes our personal things have more impact. I have a post forming in my head that I'm hoping to put together and join with you for Three Word Wed this week. :)

    Praying for you and your husband!

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    1. Thank you, Vicki. I hope you are able to link up. I'd love to hear from you. If not this week come by next week.
      Thank you for your kind words and for your prayers.
      Blessings.
      Beth

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  11. Beth, I am so thankful for your husbands's service to our country, and the sacrifices you and your family make each day to make that happen. I am thankful that God reminded you that you are loved, so that you could bring us this word today. You are a blessing and inspiration in my life.

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    1. Your are a blessing and inspiration in my life my friend! Thank you so much for all your support and for joining me every week for Three Word Wednesday. Thanking God for you!!
      Much love,
      Beth

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  12. Beth- I am so glad my dear friend Jen Ferguson told me about the awesomeness that is your blog today. I thank you for hitting publish, for I hear so much of myself in your precious words. I am an Air Force wife. I've been married to my pilot for 5.5 years now and we've moved 4 times. We've faced deployments and TDY's and with the whole Syria issue going on, my stomach is in knots. Each day with my Chad is a gift, for I know that one email can send him packing. God is teaching me that I don't have to enjoy the deployments, but that I most certainly WILL find enjoyment in Him as He sees me through each and every one of them. He is ever so patient with me as I pour out my frustrations and my fears over military life! So keep pouring it out before our awesome God. I pray that He would strengthen and comfort you. Psalm 73:25-26. God bless.

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    1. Tracy, I'm so glad Jen brought you hear. I can't say enough how much your comment here blessed me. Thank you to your husband for his service and thank you for how you stand with him and support him. My husband is in the reserves so we have not had to deal with multiple moves, but my son also serves and he and his wife have had two moves so far. This will be the first deployment for my family so my emotions are all over the place but God is always there, being patient and loving with me. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. Each day with them is a precious gift. Thank you again, Tracy. God bless. {Hugs}

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  13. Oh how I know our emotions can be complicated, but God gives us these emotions to experience, knowing (because of our faith!) that our joy is not dependent on our experiences. Our joy is complete in Him. :)

    Blessings and prayers for you and your husband, and the great sacrifice you are making for God's country! May He give you contentment, joy and peace Beth!
    Denise

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  14. Beth,
    When you write from the depth of your soul, the Holy Spirit does the translating to others!! So glad you pushed publish (I know how hard that can be sometimes). I am encouraged, that if God can love you that deeply, then He can love me that way too (and He does).

    Blessings to you and your family for the sacrifices you make! Holding you up constantly in prayer!
    With love and big, big ((hugs))
    Bev

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  15. Sweet girl ... I'm so glad you went "inward" and shared your heart with us so vulnerably. If I couldn't, I'd read both arms through the screen to hug you. Parentheses will have to suffice. (((Beth))))


    ~ Jennifer

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  16. Beth - I love this link-up and I love your heart! Having a friend whose husband is a pilot...I see the sacrifice wives and families make when husband are on deployment! The strength, sacrifice, and dependency on God it requires! You & your family are loved and appreciated, my friend! Please know that!

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  17. Oh Beth, I see your heart friend. How He loves you/me/us. Praying for you I know this is a hard time. The sacrifices that our military make on behalf of the rest of is so humbling to me. I know God is with you and will continue to show up and remind you of His love each day. God Bless, friend!

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  18. Beth,
    I'm coming over from #TellHisStory - and I love that you told yours. My husband is in the Army and we've been through a couple of deployments and several moves. I'm right with you - Thank God for Skype. And emails. And instant messaging. Even for the friendly guys at the local post office who patiently explained all the required paperwork for mailing packages. I pray that your husband is safe - physically, emotionally, and spiritually - and that you continue to give yourself permission to feel all those things you need to feel, to rest when you need to rest, and that you are surrounded by a community of support. You are what I call one of the ones left behind. Your husband will be busy doing what he has been deployed to do; you will be you AND him in the life you have at home. It was weird - during his first deployment, just when I was over my head with keeping up on this side of the ocean, his email said "Today is a Choose Joy day." And it made a difference. Like the heart on the sidewalk made a difference for you. Thank you for sharing your heart today.
    Janet

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  19. Hi Beth - it's me again... I hope it's ok, but your post had me thinking and I went ahead and posted something kind of just for you on your Three-Word-Wednesday (I'll come in on time next week, I promise!). It's called "Something to See". It's quasi-true...actually, by the time I went to chapel on post, I was a believer, and I don't have a son in the army who brought me - it was my husband. But the parts about warriors worshipping - are absolutely and truthfully amazing. Be strong.
    Janet

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  20. Dearest Beth,

    I am speechless concerning the sacrifice you and your family makes for our country. I cannot imagine my husband leaving like that. My prayers are with you all. Your post had tears rolling down my face.

    I reallllllly hope I remember to link up with you next week. I would love to be a part of this. (Father, please remind me.)

    God bless you!
    Beth

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Much love to you.