Three Word Wednesday: Something Will Break

Source: Lightstock.com 

At a Yellow Ribbon event, an event held for the soldiers and family members to help prepare them for a deployment, an older lady stood up and said to the spouses of the soldiers, "Ladies, something will break." She had us laughing as she told stories of appliances secretly chatting with each other over who would be the first to go while the men of the house were away.

According to this kind lady, something will break. It's not a matter of if; it's a matter of when.

When doing my thing in the kitchen these days (I'm not really sure what my thing is since I don't cook.) I'd look at my various appliances, some older than others, and have visions of them talking among each other.

My money is on the washing machine. (My washer and dryer happen to be in the kitchen...not by choice.) The machines acts possessed. When the spin cycle comes along it bounces like a mad woman (I'm gonna say she's a she). By the time she completes her cycle, she sits much further out than when she started. After every load of laundry I need to give her several pushes to put her back in her appropriate place.

Surely she will be the first to go. All the bouncing and pushing must be having a negative impact on her longevity, don't you think?

Anywho...

I've been waiting to see who would win. In the meantime, I was ready to take the pending breakdown of an appliance in stride. It would not get to this God Strong army wife! There would not be an emotional breakdown over anyone's demise.

That would be anyone's but mine!

I spent the better part of Saturday Christmas shopping. There were a few tears here and there knowing my husband will not be with us. But I have many reasons to be thankful so I kept pressing on focusing on how neither of us will celebrate alone. My boys and their ladies will be with me and my husband will have his Army family.

After shopping, I returned home eager to start decorating our home and began pulling out boxes of decorations. The boxes had all been placed in the garage with easy access by my husband before he left. He's always taking care of me.

The decorations went up, including our fake tree (I did ponder getting a real one this year). My son and his girlfriend were going to help me decorate the tree once they returned home that evening because the tree must be decorated together. Last year we also realized my son does a much better job of putting the lights on the tree.

A little clean-up would not hurt while I waited so I went to return the tree box to the garage.

And then it happened. I found out who would be the first to break. As I tumbled down the one stair to the garage...yes, a bone in my poor little foot would be the first to break. I heard the crack as I fell.

I laid there for moment and then cried out, "No God. Not me. My money was on the washer. Pick her instead."

I eventually made my way to my bed with a bag of ice in hand. Thankfully, my son arrived not too long after and he tended to his mom. We ordered pizza for dinner, I plopped myself on our comfy living room chair and we ended our evening by watching It's A Wonderful Life (decorating the tree could wait). I was handling my clumsy fall rather well, minus the quick cry out to God.

Bedtime came and all I wanted was to curl up next to husband. I cried and cried. "God, please bring him back home!" Once again, I cried myself to sleep.

I've decided there will be a Part 2 to this story. It includes a visit to the ER, doing something I now laugh at, feeling stranded, another emotional breakdown and God's amazing grace. So come back next week for the rest of the story.

Three Word Wednesday: Just Enough Grace

A dear friend from church told me before I left to see my husband for the last time before he deployed that God would give us the grace needed to say good-bye right at the moment we needed.

My husband and I were truly blessed to have three full days together in San Antonio before saying goodbye. We took many walks along the River Walk holding hands and ate far too much. We enjoyed quiet evenings in our hotel room and slept in every morning holding each other. A glorious time indeed!

Then came the day neither of us wanted to come. We stopped many times while packing our bags that morning to take in another long hug.

We had a two hour drive back to the airport. Of course we had to eat another meal first before beginning our journey. After taking our seats for lunch my husband pulled my stool closer to him. This warmed my heart more than I can say...he simply wanted me right at his side.

"God, please slow down these next couple hours."

As we made our way to the airport we were both quiet in anticipation of what came next. We held hands lost in our own thoughts.

The moment I saw the airport those tears began to fall. I was ready for that grace my friend said God would give us because my heart hurt. Taking deep breaths did not stop the tears.

We walked in to that dreaded airport; my husband looked at me and said, "You can't cry yet."

"God, can I please have that grace now?"

I was flying out of a small airport in Texas primarily used by military since it's located near one of the largest military bases in the U.S. There were no lines to get through security and my gate was right on the other side of security. Because of this, we were able stay together almost right up until my departure time.

We found a table and instead of sitting on my own chair I sat on his lap. I wrapped my arms around him and we both sobbed.

"God, can we please have that grace now?"

In that moment, He gave us both just enough grace to calm our cries. Instead of crying we held each other tightly. I whispered to my husband, "You come home to me, Dear."

Tears came again when we had our final embrace. But God did give us everything we needed to let go. I crossed through security with one last look back at the man I love and knew God was with us.

The past couple days have been hard. My heart hurts deeply. I've debated whether or not to take a break from blogging. Calling it quits for the month has sounded somewhat appealing. Words said by my pastor on Sunday lead me to keep on writing.

"We can't make this without Him."

Why did those words from my pastor convince me to keep on writing? I know I can't make it without Him and I don't want you to try and make it without Him.

I have read many posts and devotionals these past couple days about Advent season and how this is the time when we wait expectantly and with hope for our promised Savior. I'm in a season of waiting as I now wait for my husband to return home. But I'm also waiting for Him.

Will you join me in waiting for His arrival? As we wait, I pray He reveals Himself to us in a way that increases our faith and trust in Him. And may we be reminded that we never wait alone. He is with us.

Three Word Wednesday: A New Season

Original photo by friend Judd Johnson

A new season is here. There were prayers for it not to come so quickly. In many respects it did not. We had a year to prepare. One thing I've learned, you are never fully prepared. You can have everything checked off your to-do list yet you are still not prepared for the day when your husband walks out of your home and will not return for at least ten months. You cannot prepare for how that day will feel.

I held him tightly the night before he left as we lied in bed. Eventually, I gave him space since he needed a good night's rest. My hand continued to stay over his; I could not completely let go.

Morning came too soon. We waited as long as we could before waking our son so he could say good-bye. No matter how old your child is, watching them say good-bye is almost more than you can bear.

It wasn't time for us to say good-bye. I will see him again soon. We will have a few days to ourselves over the Thanksgiving holiday before he journeys overseas. While it wasn't good-bye for us, the time had come to begin the process of accepting he would not be home again for far too long.

People ask if he will be gone for an entire year. I tell them not quite. There are times I get, "Oh that's not too bad." Can I say any length of time apart from your spouse is too long? I know they mean well so instead of getting upset I pray for God to give me the words during this new season to not only minister to military families but to bring awareness to others of the sacrifices made by our military families.

So I begin my new season as a wife with a husband deployed (mobilization stage). I do not know what it will look like. Only God knows.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

I'm taking it one day at a time.

On the first day I missed him something fierce as soon as he boarded the plane. The gloomy day was welcomed as it matched my downcast mood. It took every ounce of strength to not let the loneliness I felt consume me. I did finally succumb to the bed and cried off and on until sleep came.

On the second day I embraced these truths:

He is with me.

"Be strong and courageous, for the Lord will be with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:9

I do not need to be afraid.

"Do do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10

He will comfort me.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose minds are steadfast. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal." ~ Isaiah 26:3-4

I can trust in Him.

"I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." ~ Psalm 16:8.

On day three I'm reminded to find the blessings in a deployment. And whatever trials come my way I will considered it all pure joy.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~ James 1:2-4

And I will give thanks to Him for He is good ALWAYS.

“Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise!” ~ Psalm 95:2

Is there scripture you turn to when a new season is upon you? I'd love for you to share.

Three Word Wednesday: He is Enough

I'd love to leave you with great words today but I have none. The past couple weeks I've kept my Three Word Wednesday posts short and have shared with you words that have inspired me from the book Let Hope In and left you with encouraging lyrics from the song "Your Grace Finds Me."

What do I have for you this week?

A wonderful weekend was spent getting to know the soldiers my husband will deploy with and also meeting their family members. There is a bond among military families that is hard to explain. Before the weekend I did not know these people. Now we are a great big family. I'm grateful we take this new and scary journey together. God really does give us just what we need.

My husband and I attended a Military Chapel service on Sunday and the Chaplain opened up with the verse from Jeremiah 21:35, "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

During his brief sermon he said words that have stuck with me. "Come to Him and He will give your soul a place to breathe. He will give you rest."

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."  ~ Matthew 11:28-30

Even though the sermon was short, I still found myself taking notes. I look back at what I wrote and see the words "He will never leave you." As I read them I begin to breathe in His great grace.

Maybe the great words I want to leave you with are: He is enough.

I can feel the loneliness of a year without my husband. My heart is weary and the road ahead looks dark. There is a part of me that wants to crawl in to a hole and hide until he returns. But God (remember, "But God" is always good news) is my strength and my portion forever. He is enough. 

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will meet all your needs according to My glorious riches. Nothing in all creation will be able to separate you from My Love." ~ Jesus Calling (Romans 8:38-39)

Is your heart weary? Accept His invitation to come to Him. Apart from Him we will never find the rest our souls long for. In the darkness He has treasures waiting for us.

"And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name."  ~ Isaiah 45:3

I promise you, He is enough. He will refresh and satisfy. How do I know this? Because our God keeps ALL His promises. When we accept His invitation He gives us everything we need.

Let hope in.

Breathe in His great grace.

He is enough.

Three Word Wednesday: Your Great Grace

His great grace found me.

His great grace found my family.

As our church family prayed for us on Sunday,

His great grace covered us.

This I know...

It's His great grace that fills me

and gives me the courage and strength to say good-bye.

So I'm breathing in His grace

and I'm breathing out His praise.

His great grace is there for you too.

Will you breathe it in?

I promise when you do
you will be breathing out His praise.

"Your Grace Finds Me"
by, Matt Redman

It's there in the newborn cry

It's there in the light of every sunrise

It's there in the shadows of this light

Your great grace

It's there on the mountaintop

It's there in the everyday and the mundane

There in the sorrow and the dancing

Your great grace

Oh, such grace

From the creation to the cross

Then from the cross into eternity

Your grace finds me Yes,

Your grace finds me

It's there on a wedding day

There in the weeping by the graveside

There in the very breath we breathe

Your great grace

Same for the rich and poor

Same for the saint and for the sinner

Enough for this whole wide world

Your great grace

Oh, such grace

From the creation to the cross

Then from the cross into eternity

Your grace finds me Yes,

Your grace finds me

There in the darkest night of the soul

There in the sweetest songs of victory

Your grace finds me

Yes, Your grace finds me

Your great grace

Oh, such grace

Your great grace

Oh, such grace

So I'm breathing in Your grace

And I'm breathing out Your praise

I'm breathing in Your grace

Forever I'll be Breathing in Your grace

And I'm breathing out Your praise

I'm breathing in Your grace

Forever I'll be

Breathing in Your grace

And I'm breathing out Your praise

Breathing in Your grace

For our God, for our God

Yes, Your grace finds me

Yes, Your grace finds me

Three Word Wednesday: Walk with God

"This God, this God of the Bible, is a God who wants to be with you. You were made to walk with God. You were made for a 'with God' life." ~ Let Hope In, by Pete Wilson

(p. 87) 

I considered only sharing the quote above as Pete Wilson says it so beautifully. But there is desperation in my heart for those who may not "walk with God." I desperately want you to have a "with God life." So I pray Paul's prayer from Ephesians.

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparable great power for us who believe." ~ Ephesians 1:18-19

I know this hope Paul refers to. This hope has filled me with peace as I prepare to send my husband off to war. There is even a hint of excitement over what God will do during our many months apart. Because our God only does good things!

Alecia of There's Something Different, who has joined us the past several weeks for Three Word Wednesday, writes in Day 12 of her 31 Days to Fearless Living post, "When I called, you answered me; you make me bold and strengthened (Psalm 138:3)."

The past several months, I've called upon Him over and over again. I've prayed for strength and courage. Oh how He has answered me. I'm feeling "bold and strengthened."

In her devotional Serving You: 31 Days of Encouragement for the Military Wife, Kristen Strong of Chasing Blue Skies tells us in Day 18 (The Big Awful News), "If we are going to follow Him, we must have faith and trust that while He may not answer our prayers immediately, He does answer them completely."

My faith and trust is in Him. And when I pray for you to have a "with God" life, I know He is moving in your life. Do you hear Him? Do you see Him? Will you let Him in?

He cares about you.
He wants to be with you.
He knows the desires of your heart.
He will answer your prayers.

Walk with God. It is what you were made for.

Let Hope In.

Three Word Wednesday: Let Hope In

I'm not sure why I've had a difficult time picking up a book and finishing it this year. Last year I read more books than I have ever read in one year. You can see my top 12 from 2012 here.

This year I do not think I could even give you a top 12 as I most likely have not completely read 12 books. I'd previously read while I worked out. I then discovered I could write while I worked out. Multi-tasking we call that! I miss reading though.

Emily of The Inner Harbor wrote a review of the book Let Hope In: 4 Choices That Will Change Your Life Forever by pastor/author Pete Wilson. While in Orlando this past week, I picked up the book and began reading.

Friends, this book is a must read. Read Emily's review and I'm sure you will be convinced to read as I was.

Because I need to spend less time writing to be with my family, I'm going to let Emily's review convince you and I'm sharing only a small portion of the book that has stood out for me so far. I cheated and picked the title of the book for my three words. There are two other words I want to share with you this week: "But God"

What does the author say about these two words?

"I love the phrase "but God" and believe a case could be made that it's one of the most important phrases in the entire Bible. This phrase is used throughout Scripture as a turning point, a line of demarcation between peril and rescue, chaos and control, fall and redemption, hurt and healing.

But God! Every time I read a verse that says "but God," it is fantastically good news. There are literally hundreds of verses that have "but God" in both the Old and New Testaments:

The psalmist in Psalm 73:25: "My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever."

Jesus in Matthew 19:26: "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible."

The apostle Paul in Acts 13:29-30: "When they had done all that the prophecies said about him, they took him down from the cross and placed him in a tomb. But God raised him from the dead!"

Once we were dead in sin, but God made us alive! Once we were captive to our past, but God made us free! Once we were unworthy, but God has promised to spend eternity unwrapping the riches of his grace in kindness towards us!" 

(p. 10-11) 

"But God!" Oh is He good news. He is the best news!

I have not reached this portion of the book but I love the quote Emily shared in her review from page 196 of the book:

"All of Scripture points to one man, one God, not because he gives us everything we're hoping for but because he is the One we put our hope in."

He is our hope and He's knocking at your door. Will you let Him in?

Three Word Wednesday: A Guest Post

I'm delighted to have my dear friend Barbie of My Freshly Brewed Life guest posting here for Three Word Wednesday. The best way I'd describe Barbie is to say she's an encourager! If I were to feature a monthly inspired blogger, like she does at her place, I'd feature her every month. She blesses me with her words and her heart for God. I know she will bless you too.

Let's turn it over to Barbie.

What's the Point?

I often find myself asking this very question. Especially on the hard days, when you throw your heart and soul into life, when you work diligently, careful to follow the rules and not crumble underneath the pressure, yet life still falls apart. It's on those days that I find myself wondering what the point of my life is. Why was I created? What is my purpose? Why does everything go so wrong when I try to do it all so right?

If I'm not careful, my quest to find the reason for my existence can lead me down a dark and dreary pathway, one laden with fear, regret, anxiety and even depression. Before I know it, I lose my joy for simply living in my pursuit of the point.

I once heard a wise man say, "You were made to know God and be known by Him. To love God and be loved by Him."

And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3)

Sounds easy enough, right? So when did life become so complicated?

We want to know what the meaning is in all aspects of our lives. God has called us as women, wives, mothers, teachers, ministers, and the list goes on. And even on those days when you feel as if you aren't sure what the point of it all is, because you are busy spinning your wheels our chasing your tail, there is a point. It all goes back to the beginning.

God desired a counterpart, one who would partner with Him in seeing His glory fulfilled on this earth. He created us for a love relationship with Him. He longs to know us, just as we long to know Him. He longs to love us, just as our hearts yearn to love Him.

My friend, YOU are that counterpart! God loves you. His desire is for you. You don't have to run the ragged rat race of life asking yourself what the point of it all is. You simply need to rest, be still, and breathe Him in. God desires an intimate relationship with YOU! You were made to love Him, and be loved by Him. You were made to know Him and be known by Him.

I know God has an even greater plan and purpose for your life, but let's just start here, shall we? Let's be content in this truth today. The next time you are struggling to fold that laundry, keep up with the house hold chores, or write that book, take a deep breath and remember what the point of it all is.

Barbie is a wife and mother to four children. She works full time while juggling faith, family, homeschooling and ministry. Her heart is to encourage women of all ages in their pursuit of the Lord. She enjoys a good cup of coffee, reading, writing, painting and spending time with family and friends. You can visit Barbie at My Freshly Brewed Life where she shares openly about her faith, sprinkled with freshly brewed grace along the way.

Three Word Wednesday: An Honest Heart

Original photo by friend Judd Johnson

How do I begin? My three words this week are: An Honest Heart. The proper place to begin would then be to honestly share my heart with you.

I'm hurting. My heart hurts. I honestly thought I'd be emotionally prepared for my husband's deployment. I am not.

I cry a lot these days. I'm fond of long walks because the time alone allows me to have a good cry. I take my phone, plug in the headphones, click on Pandora and off I go. Before long the now familiar tears start falling. I cry in the car, shower and just about any place where I'm alone. On Monday night I returned home from work and fell in to my husband's arms in tears.

I know without a doubt God is with me—He is with us. I'm sure of the path He placed my family on: the path of being a military family. I'm sure He will do something good with this new season.

It does not change the fact that my heart hurts. I'm also realizing I'm not the only one with hurting heart.

My husband and I sat in front of our church youth group this past Sunday to talk about courage. We were there to share our hearts on being brave to do what we must do even when we are afraid. I'm confident it will be a piece of cake for my husband so I told him the baton was being passed to him.

He began by saying thank you to the children for the support they have shown to our troops. Then he shared a few verses that spoke about courage. He turned the focus inward and began to tell them he would soon deploy. This strong soldier of mine couldn't get the words out while trying to hold back tears. I took the microphone from him and God did one of his many miracles. He gave me the courage to tell these children where we will draw our strength from.

It's didn't take long for us to fall in to a rhythm as we took turns with the microphone. We appeared to have the full attention of the youth group so I'd say it went well.

Earlier that morning we made plans to spend the evening with our youngest son and his girlfriend. We are making it a priority to spend more time with them. Our oldest son will also return home for a brief visit the end of the month. This new season will have an impact on the entire family so I'm grateful for the small window we will have to be together again. Our son is scheduled to deploy next year so our time together will be precious.

Family and friends will join us one evening to celebrate my husband's heart to serve and protect our country. Have we gone overboard with our plans? I believe our hearts are in the right place. We know we can not do this on our own. God will want to use others to lend a helping hand.

My honest heart needs you to know I will need you. I also want you to know how thankful I am for you. To every single one of my followers I say, Thank You.

Building a relationship with you is important to me. I do my best to visit your blog, leave you some comment love and engage with you on Facebook or Twitter. But when I'm sitting in front of the computer that means I'm not where I should be. I'm afraid of losing you so I keep trying to balance my time.

Right now, I'm unable to keep up and it's hurting this heart of mine even more. Not keeping up makes me feel like I have failed as your friend. As much as I want to try harder, I know I need to follow advice received this past week: "Take care of YOU!! You matter to God and he wants you to take good care of his fearfully and wonderfully made treasure!!!!!"

Taking care of me includes focusing my attention on my family. My husband and children need me. I need them.

I'm committed to this weekly Three Word Wednesday link-up no matter what. God is doing something fabulous with the words you share. To lend a helping hand, a friend will be guest posting here next week. If you are interested in guest posting for a future Three Word Wednesday, I'd love to have you here or you can also host at your place. You can email me at simplybeth3(at)gmail(dot)com.

I'm hopeful I can still manage my Monday Snapshot Love and For your Sunday posts. They do stand a good chance of being brief or skipped. Five Minute Friday may need to take a back seat for now. God has the lead.

Friends, you hold a special place in my heart. I treasure your friendship. Staying away completely would be too hard. However, if you do not hear from me quite as often these next several weeks please know "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers." ~ Ephesians 1:16

God bless.

Three Word Wednesday: Trust in Him

My husband and I will be speaking to to the youth group at our church this coming Sunday. The youth group has supported our Military Ministry this past year by donating pillowcases, banners and thank you cards for our service members serving in harm's way. These items were blessed with hand written messages by the children to let them know they are always being prayed for.

Glad placed it on our hearts to give back to the children to show our gratitude. We approached the youth group leaders and we were quickly on the calendar. To help us prepare for our time with the children, we were provided with a summary of what they are scheduled to cover the day we are there.

Bible Story: Men vs. Wild (Joshua and Caleb) - Numbers 13-14
Bottom Line: I can be brave even when others are not.
Memory Verse: "When I'm afraid, I will trust in you." ~ Psalm 56:3
Life App: Courage—being brave enough to do what you should do, even when you're afraid.
Basic Truth: I need to make the wise choice.

I love how God's timing is always perfect. I'd say it's rather appropriate we are coming while they are discussing courage.

Now that my husband is home, we have less than a week to prepare. What will he say about being brave enough to go to war? What will I say about being brave enough to let him go? How do we both get the courage to do what we need to do even when we are afraid?

In a previous post, I Surrender All, I shared how I need to make the choice to surrender my fears to God. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines surrender as: "to give oneself up into the power of another." The act of surrender requires trust.

My husband has a coin given to him by a soldier in his unit. On the coin reads, "Put on the whole armor of God" from Ephesians 6:11-18. The youth group leaders said the children like when speakers share something they can touch. My husband plans to bring this coin. The coin reminds him that if evil comes he can stand firm knowing the full armor of God is upon him. His trust is in God for he knows God is with him.

There is nothing to fear when we trust and obey God for He promises to always be with us.

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not abandon you or leave you alone." ~ Joshua 1:5b

When the Isrealites did not obey God they were left in the wilderness to die and never saw the land promised to them.

"I have forgiven them, as you asked. Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the Lord fills the whole earth, not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times--not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors." ~ Numbers 14:20-23

Why did He fulfill His promise to Joshua and Caleb to bring them to the Promised Land? God fulfilled His promise because Joshua and Caleb trusted and followed Him wholeheartedly.

"Only my servant Caleb, because he had a different spirit and has followed me fully - I will bring him into the land where he had gone, and his descendants will possess it." ~ Numbers 14:24

 "Of the men who went to explore the land, only Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh survived." ~ Numbers 14:38

I believe becoming a military family was part of God's plan for us. I believe it's what He called us to do. It scared me to watch my husband and son as they took their oath to serve and protect our country. God used my fear to draw me closer to Him. He whispered, "Trust in me for I am with you."

"Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go." ~ Joshua 1:9

What would have happened if my husband and I did not obey God's calling? Would we, and our family, still be wandering in the wilderness we were once in? I'm grateful we do not need to wonder. Instead, we have security knowing He is with us because we have put our trust in Him.

"Surely I will be with you, and this will be a sign to you that I have sent you." ~ Exodus 3:12a

If God is now calling my husband to be thousands of miles from home to serve and protect our country, we will continue to trust in Him. We will be brave and do what scares us because we know He is with us.

Trust in Him for He is with you always.

Three Word Wednesday: He loves me.

I keep telling myself over and over again to be strong. Be Army Strong. Many wives have traveled this deployment road before me. Many have traveled the road multiple times. What right do I have to be sad? It's my first time though so this road is new to me.

It's too quiet in the house when my husband is gone. His presence is greatly missed. He may have his moments when he makes my blood boil, (usually it's over something insignificant like forgetting to shut a cabinet door for the millionth time) but mostly he makes my eyes light up.

What I miss most is how he leads us in prayer before every meal. Sometimes we take turns but lately he jumps right in. When we are with family or friends who are not Christians I tend to hesitate before praying; he does not. He politely tells them we pray before we eat and then gently reaches out to hold the hands of those next to him. You would have to know this man of mine to understand how huge this is.

He proudly returned home the other day displaying his new dog tags which now say he is a Christian instead of "No Religious Preference." Yep, I'm married to a man with a big heart for God.

The anticipation of him being away always draws us closer, even when only for a day or two. Our hugs and kisses linger longer. The airport drop off is delayed as long as possible. When we no longer have a choice and must say good-bye, I watch him as he walks away and admire his lean, strong body in that camouflage uniform. Thank you, God, for blessing me with this amazing man.

In a matter of minutes the text messages begin with exchanges saying, "I love you and miss you." The messages continue throughout our time apart.

I've gone on many walks this past week. It appears to be the best cure for my sadness. As I stroll along, I soak in the remaining days of warmth and sing along to the music playing through my phone. God stopped me on one of my walks as I came upon a small heart etched in to the sidewalk.

As I stare at this photo I begin to hum the words to a song by David Crowder.

"And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all"

~ How He Loves

I have re-written this last part about a dozen times now. I keep thinking I'm too focused on how I'm feeling and instead should be giving you a devotional on how deep God's love is for you. Should my three words be "He loves us" or "He loves you" instead? I'm certain the words He gave me were "He loves me."

My desire is always to draw you closer to Him. I'm quick to believe my words are not worthy of drawing you to Him. I let Satan's lies deceive me and instead of simply sharing my heart with you I spend far too much time trying to be someone I am not.

Here is where my heart is on the three words I am sharing with you today.

God gave me something I desperately needed this week. First, he gave me permission to be sad. I love how He used this blogging community to share truth I needed to hear.  "...give yourself the permission to feel all that your heart has been created to feel." ~ Sarah Markley, Close to the Broken-Hearted.

I also saw how present He is in my life and in my marriage. He gave me a glimpse of how He uses the time apart from my husband to draw me to a deeper dependence on Him. As I depend on Him, He gives me just what I need to endure; a peace in knowing just how much He loves me. He will meet all my needs as I continue to trust in Him.

Thank you for allowing me to write through my emotions here. Pressing publish will come with hesitation as this post feels so inward focused. My prayer is you will see what lies beneath my words. It's a desire for us all to come to a place of knowing how deep His love is for us. He loves me and He loves you too.

Three Word Wednesday: I Surrender All

Three Word Wednesday

I Surrender All

On Sunday our worship team closed our time together singing the chorus from the song, "I Surrender All," by Judson W. Van DeVenter.

"I surrender all,

I surrender all;

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all."

We stood and sang these few lyrics together after a member of our church, who will soon be leaving us, shared her story. She is not someone I've previously met but she is someone I will not forget. She is the inspiration behind my three words: I Surrender All.

She sat in front of the congregation and told of the day when a "bomb" went off in her life. The "bomb" hit when she received devastating news; news containing the dreaded "C" word. However, the "bomb" also led to something which she described as "really cool." Within hours of receiving the news she knew the only next right choice was to surrender it all to Christ. It was in the moment of surrender when she realized everything was going to be okay. Because of her faith in Him she trusted His promise in Romans 8:28,

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

What could have been the worst year of her life ended up being one of the most exciting years for her and her family. There is so much more to her story. Maybe she'd accept a request to one day share with us here. 

Before closing the service our pastor returned to his spot next to her. He looked at the congregation and asked, "What does it take for us to get to the point of complete surrender?" Will it take hitting rock bottom or will we make the choice sooner to "let go and let God?"

As many of you may know, my family is preparing for a season of change with my husband soon leaving for his first deployment. I know I've been telling you this for months and you must be wondering when this will actually happen. For his safety, and the safety of his fellow soldiers, all I will say is he leaves before the end of the year. Up until his departure he will spend little time at home due to training requirements.

I do try to refrain from continually talking about this deployment. It's what occupies my mind though so it's hard to write about anything else.

When I think about the months we will spend apart tears easily come. I also have fears which lead to sleepless nights. I don't necessarily fear he won't return home to me; I fear how different he may be when he does return home and how the time apart may impact our marriage.

This may not make sense to you but as much as I pray for plans to change, I also know how much it means to my husband to serve his country in this way. Honestly, there is also a prayer for plans to move forward out of respect for him.

My pastor's question stayed with me as I left church on Sunday walking a little closer to my husband. What would it take for me to completely surrender to God's will?

I could look at this upcoming year anticipated to be spent without my husband as one that will be the worst year of my life. I also have the choice to surrender it all to Him and trust He will be up to something good. He has already done so much good in our life.

I knew the next right choice so before sharing a meal together (going out for lunch after church has become a tradition), I took my husband's hand in mine and lifted up a prayer similar to the words we sang together that morning in church. 

"I surrender all,

I surrender all;

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all."

Friends, we need to trust Him completely and whatever comes our way make the choice to give it to Him with complete surrender. We live in a fallen world so unfortunately bad things do happen. Our God though--he does only good things.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good things does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." ~ Psalm 84:11

Many people tell me I just need to be strong. Thank goodness I don't need to rely on my own strength as I know I can't do this by myself. I can trust God though to be my strength. We can do all things through the One who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).