Three Word Wednesday: Why the Military?

Image by Cindee Snider Re of Breathe Deeply

I walked out on him one evening when we were out for dinner with my sister and her husband. Once again he changed the topic of discussion to his desire for our eldest son to enlist in the Navy. Once again I adamantly said we would not have this discussion.

“Our son will not enlist in the military.”

With that I stormed out of the restaurant. My sister and her husband followed my lead.

Walking out of that restaurant and walking out on my husband happened over five years ago.

Fast-forward five years to the present time. In less than 30 days my husband will return home from his first deployment as a solider with the U.S. Army Reserves. He has been away from home since November of last year. Three weeks ago I had a “see–you–later” moment with our eldest son . . . our sailor. His deployment has just begun.

I’m guest posting at the lovely Jen Ferguson's of Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood today. I’d love you to join me over there for the rest of this story!

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Three Word Wednesday: Trust in Him

My husband and I will be speaking to to the youth group at our church this coming Sunday. The youth group has supported our Military Ministry this past year by donating pillowcases, banners and thank you cards for our service members serving in harm's way. These items were blessed with hand written messages by the children to let them know they are always being prayed for.

Glad placed it on our hearts to give back to the children to show our gratitude. We approached the youth group leaders and we were quickly on the calendar. To help us prepare for our time with the children, we were provided with a summary of what they are scheduled to cover the day we are there.

Bible Story: Men vs. Wild (Joshua and Caleb) - Numbers 13-14
Bottom Line: I can be brave even when others are not.
Memory Verse: "When I'm afraid, I will trust in you." ~ Psalm 56:3
Life App: Courage—being brave enough to do what you should do, even when you're afraid.
Basic Truth: I need to make the wise choice.

I love how God's timing is always perfect. I'd say it's rather appropriate we are coming while they are discussing courage.

Now that my husband is home, we have less than a week to prepare. What will he say about being brave enough to go to war? What will I say about being brave enough to let him go? How do we both get the courage to do what we need to do even when we are afraid?

In a previous post, I Surrender All, I shared how I need to make the choice to surrender my fears to God. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines surrender as: "to give oneself up into the power of another." The act of surrender requires trust.

My husband has a coin given to him by a soldier in his unit. On the coin reads, "Put on the whole armor of God" from Ephesians 6:11-18. The youth group leaders said the children like when speakers share something they can touch. My husband plans to bring this coin. The coin reminds him that if evil comes he can stand firm knowing the full armor of God is upon him. His trust is in God for he knows God is with him.

There is nothing to fear when we trust and obey God for He promises to always be with us.

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not abandon you or leave you alone." ~ Joshua 1:5b

When the Isrealites did not obey God they were left in the wilderness to die and never saw the land promised to them.

"I have forgiven them, as you asked. Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the Lord fills the whole earth, not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times--not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors." ~ Numbers 14:20-23

Why did He fulfill His promise to Joshua and Caleb to bring them to the Promised Land? God fulfilled His promise because Joshua and Caleb trusted and followed Him wholeheartedly.

"Only my servant Caleb, because he had a different spirit and has followed me fully - I will bring him into the land where he had gone, and his descendants will possess it." ~ Numbers 14:24

 "Of the men who went to explore the land, only Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh survived." ~ Numbers 14:38

I believe becoming a military family was part of God's plan for us. I believe it's what He called us to do. It scared me to watch my husband and son as they took their oath to serve and protect our country. God used my fear to draw me closer to Him. He whispered, "Trust in me for I am with you."

"Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go." ~ Joshua 1:9

What would have happened if my husband and I did not obey God's calling? Would we, and our family, still be wandering in the wilderness we were once in? I'm grateful we do not need to wonder. Instead, we have security knowing He is with us because we have put our trust in Him.

"Surely I will be with you, and this will be a sign to you that I have sent you." ~ Exodus 3:12a

If God is now calling my husband to be thousands of miles from home to serve and protect our country, we will continue to trust in Him. We will be brave and do what scares us because we know He is with us.

Trust in Him for He is with you always.

Three Word Wednesday: Be Only You

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy: I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~ John 10:10

I love this Christian blogosphere. I've been so blessed and encouraged by the community of online friends. If I'm not careful though, it can steal my joy. There are many other writers who are far better than me. I let comparing myself to them lead me to believe I am not good enough. It's been a week of feeling ready to throw in the towel.

The writers I associate with also have amazing hearts. They have hearts that give and give. They give both their time and money to places like Compassion International, World Help and most recently I've seen posts for Mercy House Kenya.

I bounce from blog to blog and see writers I admire taking the leap to support these worthy causes. Soon I'm questioning where my heart is. Where is my heart if I don't choose to sponsor a child through Compassion International or World Help? Where is my heart if I cannot contribute even a small amount of money to Mercy House Kenya to help purchase a van?

Before long, it's as though I've forgotten where God has called me to be. I forget about the ten days I spent in Guatemala serving alongside four different missionaries bringing God's hope to the Guatemalan men, women and children. I'm all too quick to minimize the work I do daily to support our military and their families.

God calls us to be world changers.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." ~ Eph. 2:10

It's about doing what God has called you to do. Maybe He's called you to be a world changer in your child's school. Maybe it's within your church. Maybe it's serving the homeless in your community. Maybe it's caring for an elderly parent. Maybe it's being a mother. Maybe, for a time such as this, it's sponsoring a child through Compassion International or World Help.

Ultimately, isn't it about doing what you can do right where you are to share God's love to those around you?

Paul tells us in Romans 12:6, "we each have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us." Instead of getting caught in the comparison trap we need to discover and embrace the individual strengths and traits God has given each of us.

Together are individual strengths and traits form one body in Christ.

"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all others." ~ Romans 12:4-5

Together we fulfill an important purpose. As members of the body of Christ, we need to encourage each other. The writers I admire do this for me; they encourage me in my walk with God. Anything else is the voice of the enemy.

I've spent many years trying to be someone else so who I am can feel lost under many layers of masks. God is my hope. The more time I spend in His presence and in His word, the more I discover who I am. He is transforming me in to the new creation I am in Him.

Be who God created you to be. Be only you.

Three Word Wednesday: He loves me.

I keep telling myself over and over again to be strong. Be Army Strong. Many wives have traveled this deployment road before me. Many have traveled the road multiple times. What right do I have to be sad? It's my first time though so this road is new to me.

It's too quiet in the house when my husband is gone. His presence is greatly missed. He may have his moments when he makes my blood boil, (usually it's over something insignificant like forgetting to shut a cabinet door for the millionth time) but mostly he makes my eyes light up.

What I miss most is how he leads us in prayer before every meal. Sometimes we take turns but lately he jumps right in. When we are with family or friends who are not Christians I tend to hesitate before praying; he does not. He politely tells them we pray before we eat and then gently reaches out to hold the hands of those next to him. You would have to know this man of mine to understand how huge this is.

He proudly returned home the other day displaying his new dog tags which now say he is a Christian instead of "No Religious Preference." Yep, I'm married to a man with a big heart for God.

The anticipation of him being away always draws us closer, even when only for a day or two. Our hugs and kisses linger longer. The airport drop off is delayed as long as possible. When we no longer have a choice and must say good-bye, I watch him as he walks away and admire his lean, strong body in that camouflage uniform. Thank you, God, for blessing me with this amazing man.

In a matter of minutes the text messages begin with exchanges saying, "I love you and miss you." The messages continue throughout our time apart.

I've gone on many walks this past week. It appears to be the best cure for my sadness. As I stroll along, I soak in the remaining days of warmth and sing along to the music playing through my phone. God stopped me on one of my walks as I came upon a small heart etched in to the sidewalk.

As I stare at this photo I begin to hum the words to a song by David Crowder.

"And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all"

~ How He Loves

I have re-written this last part about a dozen times now. I keep thinking I'm too focused on how I'm feeling and instead should be giving you a devotional on how deep God's love is for you. Should my three words be "He loves us" or "He loves you" instead? I'm certain the words He gave me were "He loves me."

My desire is always to draw you closer to Him. I'm quick to believe my words are not worthy of drawing you to Him. I let Satan's lies deceive me and instead of simply sharing my heart with you I spend far too much time trying to be someone I am not.

Here is where my heart is on the three words I am sharing with you today.

God gave me something I desperately needed this week. First, he gave me permission to be sad. I love how He used this blogging community to share truth I needed to hear.  "...give yourself the permission to feel all that your heart has been created to feel." ~ Sarah Markley, Close to the Broken-Hearted.

I also saw how present He is in my life and in my marriage. He gave me a glimpse of how He uses the time apart from my husband to draw me to a deeper dependence on Him. As I depend on Him, He gives me just what I need to endure; a peace in knowing just how much He loves me. He will meet all my needs as I continue to trust in Him.

Thank you for allowing me to write through my emotions here. Pressing publish will come with hesitation as this post feels so inward focused. My prayer is you will see what lies beneath my words. It's a desire for us all to come to a place of knowing how deep His love is for us. He loves me and He loves you too.

Three Word Wednesday: I Surrender All

Three Word Wednesday

I Surrender All

On Sunday our worship team closed our time together singing the chorus from the song, "I Surrender All," by Judson W. Van DeVenter.

"I surrender all,

I surrender all;

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all."

We stood and sang these few lyrics together after a member of our church, who will soon be leaving us, shared her story. She is not someone I've previously met but she is someone I will not forget. She is the inspiration behind my three words: I Surrender All.

She sat in front of the congregation and told of the day when a "bomb" went off in her life. The "bomb" hit when she received devastating news; news containing the dreaded "C" word. However, the "bomb" also led to something which she described as "really cool." Within hours of receiving the news she knew the only next right choice was to surrender it all to Christ. It was in the moment of surrender when she realized everything was going to be okay. Because of her faith in Him she trusted His promise in Romans 8:28,

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

What could have been the worst year of her life ended up being one of the most exciting years for her and her family. There is so much more to her story. Maybe she'd accept a request to one day share with us here. 

Before closing the service our pastor returned to his spot next to her. He looked at the congregation and asked, "What does it take for us to get to the point of complete surrender?" Will it take hitting rock bottom or will we make the choice sooner to "let go and let God?"

As many of you may know, my family is preparing for a season of change with my husband soon leaving for his first deployment. I know I've been telling you this for months and you must be wondering when this will actually happen. For his safety, and the safety of his fellow soldiers, all I will say is he leaves before the end of the year. Up until his departure he will spend little time at home due to training requirements.

I do try to refrain from continually talking about this deployment. It's what occupies my mind though so it's hard to write about anything else.

When I think about the months we will spend apart tears easily come. I also have fears which lead to sleepless nights. I don't necessarily fear he won't return home to me; I fear how different he may be when he does return home and how the time apart may impact our marriage.

This may not make sense to you but as much as I pray for plans to change, I also know how much it means to my husband to serve his country in this way. Honestly, there is also a prayer for plans to move forward out of respect for him.

My pastor's question stayed with me as I left church on Sunday walking a little closer to my husband. What would it take for me to completely surrender to God's will?

I could look at this upcoming year anticipated to be spent without my husband as one that will be the worst year of my life. I also have the choice to surrender it all to Him and trust He will be up to something good. He has already done so much good in our life.

I knew the next right choice so before sharing a meal together (going out for lunch after church has become a tradition), I took my husband's hand in mine and lifted up a prayer similar to the words we sang together that morning in church. 

"I surrender all,

I surrender all;

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all."

Friends, we need to trust Him completely and whatever comes our way make the choice to give it to Him with complete surrender. We live in a fallen world so unfortunately bad things do happen. Our God though--he does only good things.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good things does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." ~ Psalm 84:11

Many people tell me I just need to be strong. Thank goodness I don't need to rely on my own strength as I know I can't do this by myself. I can trust God though to be my strength. We can do all things through the One who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).

Three Word Wednesday: Be Made New

Three Word Wednesday

BE MADE NEW

I was ready to throw myself a pity party. Negative thoughts began to fill my head and I almost questioned what God had actually done to make me new.

Before heading down a path that leads to no good, God led me to open up a book I read two years ago by Chip Ingram titled, The Miracle of Life Change: How God Transforms His Children.

"The moment you came to Christ, you were saved and forgiven, and the Spirit of God entered your heart. God's game plan from that point on uses every circumstance, every person, every disappointment, every bit of suffering; and every touch of joy to conform (morph) you into the very likeness of His son. (see Romans 8:29; Ephesians 2:10)." ~ Chip Ingram, The Miracle of Life Change

It only took a few pages for my mind to flash back to the day, just a little over a month ago, when I was baptized. Shortly after the baptism I shared my story of transformation.

The devil tried to take control over my thinking and I almost fell for his lies. But when we are steadfast in God's Word (thank you HelloMornings!) we are more prepared to fight off those lies. So today I'm going to share a few of my favorite passages to remind you of God's promises to make us new.

My hope is that they leave you encouraged by how deep His love is for you.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" ~ Ephesians 4:22-24

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." ~ 1 Peter 1:3 

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." ~ Romans 12:2

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~ John 10:10

God transformed my life and continues to be at work in me. He will transform yours too. Be Made New.

Embracing the In-Between

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Thomas

As much as I'm trying, the desire to write isn't there. I stare at a blank computer screen and my heart aches for something more. I know what the ache is for. It's for more of God. 

My time in Guatemala was spent without electronic devices. Being disconnected from all that I allow to distract me was needed.

I'd wake to the sounds of His creations. Some sounds were not so pleasant (something strange was taking place at the pig farm next to us) but I now find I miss those sounds. The less than pleasant sounds would soon be replaced by worship music. I would hum along while preparing for the day.

I grew fond of what we referred to as "Guatemalan time." Guatemala moved at a slower pace. People didn't rush to move from one place to another. A church service lasted over three hours. I glanced around during that service expecting to find people either staring at their watch or dozing off. Instead, I found them with their eyes looking up and arms stretched out worshiping God. 

I wanted what they had—a heart for more of Him.

The days were spent serving others. Life was no longer about my own needs. There were times Satan tried his best to keep me from stepping over my fears to serve others but God always prevailed. Outside of my comfort zone quickly became my comfort.

Our mission team ended each day gathered in a big room with hearts ready to share. We'd take turns sharing what moved us most. Sometimes it was something big; many times it was something small that stole our hearts. In between sharing our hearts we'd stop to worship God. Before calling it a night our hands joined together and we prayed.

Praying didn't only happen when we gathered in a circle at night.

Praying happened everywhere. There were silent prayers and there were out loud prayers. We would pray for each other and you were grateful for the ones who knew when those prayers were needed. We would pray for those we were serving and they would pray for us. And oh how the beautiful Guatemalan children would pray. It was a beautiful thing.

My dear friend Alene Snodgrass said when she first went to Guatemala she thought she was bringing God there with her. Once she arrived she realized she wasn't bringing God; He was already there.

God was surely present. I was jealous of how present He was. I was jealous of how rich the faith of the Guatemalan people appeared to be. They depended on God to meet their every need and they were grateful for how He provided even though their possessions failed in comparison to what we have. I find myself with a desire for less stuff and more of Him.

I'm struggling with where I go from here.This life changing experience should change my life.

My church had an evening worship service this past Sunday. We stood with "arms high and hearts abandoned worshiping the One who gave it all God." (The Stand, by Hillsong United) We prayed for each other. We prayed for our church. We prayed for our community. My heart was full again for the first time since returning home from Guatemala. I was missing God but I realized He had never left my side.

If I'm not seeking Him though then it's harder to know He is really there.

God is everything I need. He is everything we need. So I'm taking some advice from Jeff Goins and stopping to savor this moment of being between the greatest experience of my life and waiting to see where God will lead me next. (Read about Jeff's challenge here.)

For now, I believe the change God is asking of me is to slow down.

"Learn to enjoy life more. Relax, remembering that I am God with you. I crafted you with enormous capacity to know Me and enjoy My Presence.

The God I saw in Guatemala is the same God here with me. I only need to allow Him to be a greater part of my life. 

The more you focus on My Presence with you, the more fully you can enjoy life. Glorify Me through your pleasure in Me. Thus you proclaim My Presence to the watching world." ~ Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young

So what happens next? My priority will be to devote my mornings to time in His word. I will turn that worship music on and offer my heart completely to Him.

And I will slow down and savor every experience God gives me. As Jeff Goins writes in Day 1 of his Slow Down Challenge:, "Life is not a race. It's a walk around the block, a casual stroll through the park, a deep abiding in where you are right now."

To help me slow down I will also finish reading Jeff's new book, The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and theNext Big Thing. I'm inspired by the words he has shared.

If there are gaps between posts I hope it's because God has me savoring a moment. I’m headed to California to visit my son and his wife who I haven't seen in over six months. I plan to savor every single moment with them. When I return my focus will be on savoring the moments I have with my husband before he deploys.

My time with God and with my family must come before my writing. I will write only as He leads.

Until next time, since praying is on my heart how can I be praying for you?

For such a time as this. {Graffiti Summer}

We are in the last week of Graffiti Summer and reading from Silence Births Vision in the book Graffiti: scribbles from different sides of the street. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me. If you are wishing you had joined in, it's not too late. I'd love to follow along with you as you begin your journey. You can find the introduction here.

God said, "My presence will go with you. I'll see the journey to the end." ~ Exodus 33:14 (MSG)

I shared with friends recently how I wished God would let me in on who he wants me to serve. I know he has called me to serve, but whom? Is it our military, their families, the homeless, a combination of the two by serving our homeless veterans, or is he leading me somewhere completely different?

Like Moses had asked God, I too want God to let me know His plans for me.

"So God, which street are you calling me to? Who is it you are calling me to serve?"

I can't help but to wonder if maybe I'm not listening well enough to where He wants to lead me. Am I praying enough for His guidance and wisdom? Am I spending enough time in His word and would I find the answers there?

I read the story of Esther several months ago and loved the words from Esther 4:14, "...for such a time as this." I tend to be one who is always trying to be two steps ahead. If serving is my spiritual gift I want to be more like Mother Teresa...okay maybe a stretch. Let's compare this to the gift of writing for a moment. If writing is a gift He's blessed me with can we skip right on over to being great?

I'm reaching for big and grand. If it's anything less than I'm small and insignificant. If I'm not perfect with the gift He's given me, than I'm not enough. Someone else does it bigger and better so who needs me?

I come back to those words, "...for such a time as this." Could it be He has me right where He wants me to be? Is He really silent in my life? Am I guilty of wanting more from Him and not being happy with all He has given me?

As I lay out all these questions to God, I realize I am hearing Him and He's whispering familiar words. "Trust in me."

It's time to silence the voice of the enemy who tells me I'm not enough and rest in God's presence. When I'm resting in Him, my eyes are opened to how my small acts of obedience in stepping over my fears to serve others are actually big steps in furthering His kingdom. 

For such a time as this, maybe small is right where He wants me. How can I be big and grand if I can't find the blessings in the small? And is it all that small?

Was the hour a spent with a wounded warrior who lost both his limbs in an explosion of little significance? I didn't feel small when one of the family members hugged me as I departed and whispered, "Thank you for being here."

Was the extra time I spent with my younger sister rocking her son back to sleep because she needed a few moments of rest of little significance? Her eyes told me my act of obedience by giving up my time so she could refresh was anything but insignificant.

Alene writes in her FREE Graffiti Study and Do guide, "Your path will intertwine with souls that you are to reach." As I've rested in God's presence this past week (because rest in Him was desperately needed) I realized the path He has me on is one where for such a time as this I need to see the broken. Right now it isn't about which street He's calling me to, it's about seeing and trusting He has me right where He wants me to be. It's about seeing and serving no matter which street I may be on.

As I step over my fears to serve He is and will continue to do big and grand things through me.

I pray that as you followed along in this study your heart was changed like mine to see others through the eyes of Jesus. In His eyes we are all beautiful and worthy of His grace. Because of the gift of grace He has given us we must be willing to take those brave steps across the street to serve His people. See the broken and downhearted. If they don't know Jesus, lead them to Him.

God bless you as you move forward in obedience.

To read previous posts on Graffiti Summer, click here.

Lead Your Generation {Graffiti Summer}

We are beginning the fifth week of Graffiti Summer and reading from For Your Generation in the book Graffiti: scribbles from different sides of the street. If you are wishing you had joined in, it's not too late. I'd love to follow along with you as you begin your journey. You can find the introduction here.

In the FREE Graffiti Study and Do guide for this section, one of our readings was Romans 12:10-16. I went back a little further and read from Romans 12:4-8:

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

What is your spiritual gift? I completely understand if it's hard to answer this question. Alene shares great resources in her current post to help you.

Several months ago I took a spiritual gifts survey through my church and my results came back saying my gifts were administration and serving. Administration didn't surprise me since I work full-time as an executive assistant. Serving didn't surprise me either. Long before surrendering my life to Christ I felt a stirring in my heart to serve.

There are times when God is calling me to serve but I don't feel equipped to meet the need on my own. The particular need isn't one of my gifts. Bring cookies to a friend? Prepare a meal for a family going through hard times? Trust me, you do not want me baking or cooking. The call to serve though is one I can no longer ignore.

Remember my friend Tammy and her addiction to connections? You can read her post here. We don't need to serve alone. Get connected; God has given us all different gifts. The need you don't feel qualified to meet can be met when we connect with others with different gifts from us. Let's read Romans 12:4-5 again.

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Together our different gifts form one body in Christ. We belong together. So let's get connected!

One of the first messages Alene shares with us in this study is to be different. Here is where you can lead your generation. Be different. Don't walk away from a need because you feel not up to the task.

When I wanted to bring sweets to two different friends to let them know someone does see them, I turned to my son and his girlfriend who love to bake. I learned a family could use a home cooked meal so I ran straight to my husband since he's the cook of our household.

When embracing a friend recently who is struggling, I knew prayers were desperately needed. God heard my plea for help (I'm still working on praying out loud) and at just the right time another dear friend walked up to us. The three of us wrapped arms together and this dear friend lifted up a heartfelt prayer to God.

A new friend recently shared with me her desire to reach out to those who believe they aren't enough. We both have seen a need and decided two voices are better than one. Together we will tell them because of God's grace they are more than enough.

I'm a bit shaky in the knees about my upcoming mission trip to Guatemala. I'm grateful the trip will be made with many others—together we will be the hands and feet of Jesus.

You may feel unequipped to meet a need but you can lead the way by reaching out to others and together you can meet that need. Lead your generation by being obedient to His call to serve. He is counting on you. God isn't asking you to be perfect; He is asking you to be obedient. 

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." ~ Galatians 5:13-14

Gather up some friends and go love your neighbors. Lead your community to be one that extends love to all. All you need to do is walk across the street and you will find someone waiting to be loved.

To read previous posts on Graffiti Summer, click here.

Opposition to Victory {Graffiti Summer}

We are in the fourth week of the Graffiti Summer challenge. It's never too late to join in. Purchase Graffiti: scribbles from different sides of the street and download the FREE Graffiti Study and Do guide and come join us. You can find the introduction from Alene Snodgrass (our FABULOUS leader) here.

This week we are reading the section Opposition to Victory. I thought the first three weeks were a challenge. This is totally cray-cray, as Alene would say. Before we begin with my words, lets take a look at what Alene is sharing this week in her post.

The first time I read from Exodus my reaction was Moses had to be a little crazy. Seriously, I would have given up on freeing the Israelites after the second or third attempt made to Pharaoh. My mind didn't understand why God didn't make this easier for him. Ten times Moses met opposition—TEN TIMES! How did he not call it quits?

Our DO this week for the section Opposition to Victory, is to "Let Your Secrets Go." Share what we are struggling with authentically with another and experience how when we do we give others the freedom to do the same. Let's go deeper in our relationships. Let our hearts be heard.

I couldn't help but to think of Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly. Brene describes in her book a conversation with her daughter on how friendships are like a marble jar. "Whenever someone supports you, or is kind to you, or sticks up for you, or honors what you share with them as private, you put marbles in the jar. When people are mean, or disrespectful, or share your secrets, marbles come out." Her daughter responds with excitement, "I've got marble jar friends! I've got marble jar friends!"

Woot! Woot! I've got marble jar friends too!

I'd describe a marble jar friend as someone who is grace-filled. A grace-filled person is someone who produces fresh fruit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." ~ Galatians 5:22-23

There is one particular friend of mine who would fill up a marble jar. She continually produces fresh fruit. We haven't had the chance to spend time together recently but she is someone who allows the real me to be seen. She is a friend who provides comfort to let my secrets go.

This friend is one of the few I tell that this eating disorder of mine remains an ongoing battle. Time and time again I tell her I just don't know how to let it go. Like God gave steps to Moses for finding victory, so has my friend given to me. And she always reminds me that no matter what my struggles are God's promises remain.

God's promises remain for me no matter how many times I need to come before him and say, God please take this. Like Moses and the Israelites, freedom will be found.

"God is OK with our failures. He is not OK with our quitting." ~ Alene Snodgrass

I may meet constant opposition from my enemy telling me those familiar lies that I'm not enough but I know God is strengthening me. He is strengthening me for what He has called me to do: To see others who are desperately crying out to be seen and to know they are enough—to lead others to victory.

So maybe I wouldn't give up so quickly and instead stay the course like Moses did. Maybe I'm already staying the course by saying quitting is not an option. I will keep on asking God to please take this.

As I thought about the marble jar friends in my life, I realized this analogy from Brene Brown stood out because God wants me to be a marble jar friend to others. To be world changers it requires us to be marble jar friends.

We need to encourage each other with love and this begins by daring to be vulnerable—daring to let ourselves be seen. When we do, others will find encouragement to let their secrets go too.

Would you be my marble jar friend? I'd love to be yours. Here you can let your secrets go. Your hearts will be heard.

To read previous posts on Graffiti Summer, click here.

Be the solution {Graffiti Summer}



Original photo from http://chicagocares.org/

If you are coming here for the first time, my posts are currently focused on a study and do challenge from the book Graffiti: scribbles from different sides of the street, written by Alene Snodgrass. I'm beginning the third section Broken for Others of the Graffiti Study and Do guide.

This past weekend I headed to Chicago to join Chicago Cares in their efforts to bring hope to underserved communities. Convinced that God had chosen the wrong person for this task, I pleaded to Him to let me stay home. He was rather quick to make it clear that staying home was not an option so at 4:00 a.m. I gave up on sleeping.

I boarded the Metra train at the crack of dawn and headed to the streets of Chicago. As I looked out the window from my seat on the train and watched the world zip on by, I wished someone was sitting alongside of me joining me on this adventure.

Alene Snodgrass writes in her post for this week's challenge (read here), "God doesn't care about our comfort, instead what He cares about is his people." Okay God, I care too that's why I'm going.

When I arrived at the Daley Center in Chicago there were many others who also cared; around 5,000 others. I was also not the only one who made the journey on her own. Again it occurred to me while we are all different, we aren't so different.

The public announcer for the event shared in his welcome address a quote by Martin Luther King, Jr., "Everyone can be great because everyone can serve." I looked at the people surrounding me and wondered if they felt equally broken and unequipped for this journey. Do they all hear the same words of how we can be great and find themselves doubting if they have ever been great?

Finally, the time came to board the bus with fellow teammates to head out to our surprise location. God used the forty-five minute, bumpy and almost nauseating bus ride to remind me where my strength comes from and why I was there. I walked off the bus desperately needing to use a bathroom but ready to serve.

Our destination for serving was an apartment complex occupied by senior citizens. In this particular community English was not the primary language.

I will admit there was a moment of disappointment as my hopes were set on spending the day transforming public schools. During the opening announcements at the Daley Center they commented on how children would return to their classrooms on Monday morning thinking Santa Claus had been there. I wanted to be like Santa Claus!

Our fabulous leader of this Graffiti Summer challenge is right though, God will many times call you to serve the people you most want to run from. Running from the senior center sounded like a better idea but fear was not going to win.

Alene tells us to "use what's in your hand." My hands quickly got busy placing table clothes on tables and making fabulous center pieces with pieces of tissue paper and string. It's amazing what you can do with only a few items and your hands. By the time the residents raced into the room to find a seat, many hands had already made sure plates full of food would be there waiting for them. When three of us filled our hands with large dessert trays, the eyes of the residents grew wider.

Others led the way by passing out tickets for raffle prizes, rallying the residents to play Bingo, and spotters made sure residents knew when it was time to yell, "BINGO." Several hung out in the kitchen to clean up from lunch and a few got dirty outside in the rain putting together planters to set along the gazebo.

Those seniors loved getting prizes. The prizes consisted of simply boxes of tissue, kitchen sponges, hand soap, bud vases and other small items. My eyes were opened when I was informed that food stamps do not count towards purchasing these items...these daily essentials we take for granted. Maybe we were a bit like Santa Claus.

It was then I understood this being broken for others. My heart was broken. How often does someone come to this senior center to make the day seem brighter for these residents? When can I come again?

Our DO assignment for this week challenged us to make sandwiches and give them to someone in need. Oh yes Alene, we made lots and lots of sandwiches. I'd say we did much more then make sandwiches—we changed lives. Just maybe the lives truly changed were those of us serving.

Here's what I'm learning with this whole being different thing. God created us all differently but he never intended for us to treat others differently. There is something common within us all—we all long to be seen—we all long to know we have not been forgotten. God has not forgotten us. He sent Jesus for us. His heart's desire is for us to bring Jesus to others.

The slogan for the Chicago Cares event was, "BE THE SOLUTION." 

Friends, God is calling us to BE THE SOLUTION. Step over your fears. He will be with you. Be the one who does something differently. 

To read previous posts on Graffiti Summer, click here.

The Gift of Grace {Graffiti Summer}

"For it is by grace you have been save, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10

Standing and worshiping God this morning was everything I needed. I missed church last week due to business meetings and I felt the absence in my soul all week long.

We sang the lyrics from a song written by our new worship leader..."Overwhelm me. Overwhelm me. Overwhelm me with your Grace." The song was written specifically for our sermon series titled, "Overwhelming Grace."

Grace. "It's the most wonderful gift we've ever received." ~ Pastor Mike Gates

Pastor Mike referred to having a "yes" face in his sermon. What exactly did he mean by having a "yes" face? "A person someone knows they can come to, to receive grace."

Alene Snodgrass tells us in the second week of her Graffiti Summer challenge to bless someone different from ourselves. I find myself more wonder-struck by others and the gift of grace they have given to many...from our side of the street and the other side of the street.

This weekend my family said good-bye to a great man. Walter Thomson, Jr. is surely now home with our heavenly Father, and also with his wife and only son. At his memorial service he was referred to as a "Gentle Giant." An appropriate reference as this man blessed many during his 86 years here on earth with his overwhelming gentleness and grace.

I found myself observing my Aunt Jean as she mourned the loss of her brother. She was another one who blessed many, and she blessed those from the other side of the street. For years and years she took in children and served as their foster parent. In total, she was a foster parent to 79 children. Overwhelming!

These are two individuals who had a "yes" face.

The last few words Pastor Mike said in his sermon were, "Live your life knowing the value of the gift you were given." In Galatians 5:6, Paul tells us the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. And it begins with God's grace.

Alene is asking us to do just that—realize the value of the gift you were given and give that same gift to others. Again, as Paul tell us, serve one another humbly in love (Gal. 5:13). Have a "yes" face.

The challenge is to be willing to have a "yes" face to those who are different from you.

"If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?" ~ Matthew 5:47 (NLT)

This may make us feel uncomfortable as it requires living differently. If you are like me you are saying, "I'm not looking to be different; I just want to fit in." But when I take a moment to realize the gift of grace I've been given, I no longer want to simply fit in. He created me differently on purpose so I need to live differently. We need to live differently.

Alene writes in her book Graffiti: scribbles from different sides of the street, "To really follow Jesus, even if it's to the other side of the street, you will have to be the change maker. You will need to live differently from your friends and sometimes your family."

In my father's eulogy he said my Uncle Wally was a man who always showed up. To me, this is a man who lived differently.

My Aunt Jean lived differently and changed the life of 79 children as a result.

It took lots of praying for me to embrace being different by stopping and crossing the street to be with my friend Bob. Wondering what others driving by in their comfy cars would think of me sitting there with Bob would have previously kept me from crossing. God's overwhelming grace led me to have peace with my differences and the differences of others to cross the street and live differently.

This coming week, I'm praying God leads me in more ways. I'm armed and ready with a few gift cards to bless others as He leads.

God, I pray my eyes and heart remain open to wherever you may lead, whether you lead me to my side of the street or the other side. Silence those cries of wanting to fit in instead. Help me to appreciate that you created me differently on purpose, that you created us all to be different. Thank you for the gift of your overwhelming grace. Teach me to embrace your gift and to offer the same grace to others by living differently. Help me to have a "yes" face. Amen.

To read previous posts on Graffiti Summer, click here.

Memorial Day Reflection {Graffiti Summer}

World War II Memorial

On Memorial Day, my status update on Facebook shared words from a post written by Sara Horn, "As a nation, it is our duty to remember them." Over and over again this past week my mind has been on how we need to remember.

I stood before my church on Sunday morning and struggled with sharing my heart. My shaking hand held a piece of paper that contained many words. Words like, We will not forget. We will never forget. Living Hope Church remembers. The light shone brightly as I tried to read from that piece of paper. The faces of those who sat in the congregation were blurred. My eyes squinted to get a glimpse of the ones standing. To me it was important to remember the faces of those who were remembering a loved one lost, and to also remember the faces of our veterans.

There was a chill in the air on Memorial Day and clouds covered the sky. I was grateful for the quietness of the day. It almost seemed appropriate that our day was spent without a barbecue to kick off the summer, but simply spent remembering as we went about our individual routines. I know for both my husband and I, remembering was on our heart.

Before we became a military family, regretfully I admit Memorial Day was just a day off of work and a time to enjoy being with family and friends. Please forgive me.

I was purposeful in ensuring we took time to remember this year so our morning began with attending a local Memorial Day ceremony. It was a challenge to hear the speakers, but there was no doubt what their message was—today we remember.

It felt good to be among many others who were there to remember. The room was filled with veterans and for many remembering brings great pain. Many know all too well the price that was paid. The faces of friends lost are carried with them. The sister who shared on behalf of her family of a son and brother lost a happy Memorial Day I'm sure it was not. Memorial Day is a solemn day so why do we say Happy Memorial Day?

There is one face I carried home with me. It's the face of a veteran who walked with a smile on his face, a flag in his hand and a heart for his fellow soldiers that was clearly seen. I'm guessing this man was a World War II veteran. His smile...I clearly remember his smile. My husband and I passed on by him and with our own brief smile and said, "Good afternoon, Sir."

Alene Snodgrass shares a prayer in Part One of her Graffiti: Study and Do guide. "Dear Heavenly Father, I don't know where you are leading me. I know I'm ready to experience you in a whole new way. Open my ears to hear your call. Give my heart a vision to how I can help others. Amen."

The face of this man I'm unable to shake from my mind. He appeared to not have a care in the world as he walked down the sidewalk. If I would have stopped to talk with him maybe I would have discovered his cares were great and his needs were many. What I do know is God was surely tugging at my heart. There are no chance encounters. God knew I would pass this man. Could it be God used this man to minister to me?

Just maybe God was tugging at my heart as I walked past this man to say, "Serving others isn't handed to you in a box tied up with a pretty bow. It will be uncomfortable. It will require you stepping over your fears. But I will be with you as you take those steps."

I had a dream of turning around and running across the street back to this man and allowing him to wrap his arm around mine as we walked together. I dreamed of him sharing his story with me...a story filled with sorrow and also with love. I imagined him spending Memorial Day with us and my heart being filled by the time we returned him home.

When I woke there wasn't sadness for what did not take place for I know God is at work in me. He's opening my eyes to a world that exists on the other side of the street. Alene asks in her book Graffiti, "Do you wonder if your story will reflect the love you dared to give?"  I don't want to wonder. God, please make me brave.

A day will come, hopefully very soon, when I will share with you how I stepped over my fears and walked across the street.

Until then, will you join me in this Graffiti Summer challenge so we can encourage each other in stepping over our fears? The challenge begins on June 3rd. Download Alene's book, Graffiti, here in Kindle. Then download your free Graffiti: Study and Do guide. You can also ask to join the Graffiti Facebook page.

Sharing with Alene for her Graffiti Summer challenge.And also with Jennifer Dukes Lee, Jen Ferguson, Jen Avellaneda, and Tracy.

Redemption for a Family {Part 1}

Almost twenty-three years ago I stepped into the scary world of being a mother and shortly after a wife. And yes, I've shared in the correct order. At what many would consider too young of an age, I started a family.

A month before my twenty-first birthday I welcomed my first bundle of joy into the world. I remember bringing my son home and on that first night as I cradled him in my arms, I said through tears, Take him back. I'm clearly not ready to be a mom. But at the same time I was unwilling to let go of this precious child staring back at me.

Four months later I walked down the aisle and married the man I have now spent more than half of my life with.

Life for us was so much different when we first began this journey of being a family. We jumped in before we were ready. Are we ever really ready though? I shudder at the memories of how unprepared we were. The first few months were spent in a corner of my parent's home fighting between wanting our independence and also needing them so desperately.

Soon our family grew by welcoming our second bundle of joy.

Dark clouds began to hover over us. Our boys were growing up in the midst of storm after storm. Their innocent eyes witnessed events I wish could be erased from their memory. When the storms raged I would cling to my boys as though my life depended on them. They were my reason for hope. I didn't know how to rely on God for hope.

We lived in Elgin, Illinois during those early years of family life. Ironically, the kids always say there were too many tornado warnings while we lived there. Yes, there were my dear children...way too many. It was a happy day when we closed the door to Elgin.

I'd like to say the storms settled when we left Elgin, but they did not. They became so routine we had mastered surviving them with few knowing how bad the impact really was.

Hearts were being hardened.

****

The walk down memory lane isn't easy for me. There are hurts that I may never share. They are hurts God is showing me how to let go of. A quick glimpse back reminds me we aren't that same family anymore. The storms have a harder way of finding their way into our home.

I've learned this...Jesus sees the broken. Jesus touches the broken. Jesus heals the broken. If you take time to read the Gospels you will see this truth over and over again. Luke 7:11-17 gives us one account of this truth when Jesus raises a Widow's son.

To say I'm surprised that he would see my broken family, take the time to touch us each individually, and then find us worthy of healing would be an understatement. I'm blown away. Why us?

Honestly, I'm no longer asking why. I'm saying, Thank you Lord.

There is this myth that God will never give you more than you can handle. Here's the thing though, God doesn't allow bad things to happen. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world. The good news is, God will use all things for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." ~ Romans 8:26-28 (MSG)

Those raging storms were more than I could handle. There was a time when I was ready to check out. But God had a promise for my family—a promise that for many years I was blind to. Even in my unbelief, He kept His promise. A promise to redeem my family. The storms we survived He will use...He is already using. Our testimony is one of how a marriage and family can survive. Our story is one of how you can make the choice to stay and surrender to God's plan. He will see you. He will touch you. He will heal you.

With A Grateful Heart



Original Photo by friend Judd Johnson

For all You've given to me
For all the blessings that I cannot see
Thank You Lord
Thank you Lord

Thanks to (in)courage, thousands of woman gathered around the world on Saturday taking brave steps to embrace community through (in) Real Life meet-ups.

"It's all about friendship and the challenge to stay rooted in community when sometimes just walking away would be so much easier and tons more convenient."

I was unable to attend the meet-up in my area, but through a few online exchanges with the host of the gathering and the other ladies planning to attend, new friendships were beginning to bloom. A simple text on Saturday from one of these lovely ladies saying "Oh...I wish you were coming!" brightened my morning.

With a grateful heart
With a song of praise
With an outstretched arm
I will bless your name.

Instead of attending the local meet-up that morning I participated in a LEAD 2013 conference at my church. I did not miss out on the opportunity to embrace community. Leaders of the church gathered and worshiped God together, prayed over each other, and shared ideas on how to fill the holes within our ministries.

At the end of our time together we were given the chance to share what impacted us most from our day together. A guest speaker during the conference (Dr. Steve Lee) spoke on bringing our best to God. His message challenged me to look at the areas of my life where I'm not bringing my best. This is what I shared before we parted ways. What I really wanted to share was how a day of embracing community filled my heart.

My husband and I could have left our church that day leaving community behind us, but instead we choose to stay. We stayed rooted within that community by continuing into the late evening with another couple. My cup was overflowing.

Thank you Lord
I just want to thank You Lord
Thank You Lord
I just want to thank you Lord
Thank You Lord

On Sunday morning we returned to church and worshiping God was on my heart. I remembered the days of either blaming God for the pain in my life, or saying "if there really is a God, He forgot about me." How wrong I was. My heart was ready to sing praise to God for sending Jesus.

Our Family and Student Pastor delivered a powerful message that seemed to awaken the hearts of us all. His message...run to God. He shared how when bad things happen many times we choose to run from God thinking He's to blame, instead of running to Him. "He's the answer. He made a way to make it right through Jesus Christ."

For all You've done in my life
You took my darkness and gave me Your light
Thank You Lord
Thank You Lord

You took my sin and my shame,
You took my sickness and healed all my pain
Thank You Lord
Thank You Lord

During the service we stood and worshiped God by singing the song I've been sharing throughout this post "Thank You Lord (With A Grateful Heart)." As I sang the words, tears fell down my cheeks. My heart has been changed and many times this can still take my breath away. I had a moment where I was mesmerized again by what happened at the cross—mesmerized by what God did for me...for us.

I still struggle to share my faith beyond this blog, but something changed this past weekend. I realized by keeping my faith to myself, I'm withholding from others the greatest gift we were ever given. Jesus Christ!

"The world will know of the greatness of our God

 by the passion with which He is worshiped by His Church." 

~ Dr. Steve Lee

My passion has been ignited!

With a grateful heart
With a song of praise
With an outstretched arm
I will bless Your name

Thank you Lord
I just want to thank You Lord
Thank You Lord
I just want to thank You Lord
Thank You Lord

Thank You Lord (With a Grateful Heart)
By: Don Moen

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
~ Ephesians 3:20-21